Losing My Mind For You
by kagje94
Summary: "The Life She once had, she didn't remember. All she remembered was the life she had now and she was sure if was worth losing her mind for." One faithful day, Haley lost any memory she had and washed up on the beach of a town only a few people knew.
1. Where did you go?

**Hi everyone!**

**For my steady readers; i know it's not the update you were hoping for but I was just so inspired a couple days ago that i started writing and now here's a new story. I'm gonna update on THE MAKE UP TALE. But here a first chapter of LOSING MY MIND FOR YOU. I hope you like!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1. Where Did you go?<strong>

"It's not fair, I don't wanna go!" Haley pouted as she had her arms wrapped around her husband's neck, standing on her tiptoes. She was about to leave for the last minute wedding planning of her best friend's wedding in Maryland. She really didn't want to be leaving. It A. meant a whole week away from her husband and B. meant a very very long road trip from New jersey to Maryland. She wasn't a fan of roadtrips especially not the one she had to make alone. She would have just flown in with Derek, but Derek had a last minute thing to do at work and was therefore unable to make to Maryland a week early.  
>Derek was her husband for a year. She'd met him in college, where they shared a couple classes. After graduating they moved back to his home town, which was Vineland, New Jersey. Her parents lived in an RV and her siblings lived all around the country so it was really not a difficult choice for Haley to not return to her home town; Nashville, Tennessee. By now Haley and Derek were together for two years of which one happily married. And now her childhood best friend was getting married and since Haley had a awful fright of flying she never flew alone. Hence the roadtrip.<p>

"Are you absolutely sure you can't come with me?" She pouted giving him her puppy dog eyes. They usually worked. But not this time, Derek was committed to his job and couldn't leave so he wouldn't and it wasn't like he wouldn't make it to the wedding. "Sorry babe.. I love you and I'll see you soon."

"Call me when you get there!" Haley unwrapped her arms and went to stand back on her feet. "I guess I'll be going then.. Don't try to miss me too much while I'm gone." She grinned and grabbed her suitcase and purse before kissing him once more on the lips. She pulled her suitcase behind her to the door.

'I love you, see you Saturday!" She called out as she rolled the suitcase out the door and slowly pulled the door closed behind her. "Here we go." Haley thought as she started the engine of her Volkswagen beetle.

She lowered her foot on the gas pedal and pulled out of the drive way and out of her street.

She plugged in her Ipod for the road mix Peyton sent her and pressed play. Peyton Sawyer, her best friend and bride to be was waiting for her. Haley and Peyton were inseparable before they both went off to college. Peyton stayed in Nashville, she went to Belmond University School Music, where she met her fiancé John. Haley never quite understood why Peyton moved to Maryland instead of insisting they stayed in Nahsville. Peyton had a fantastic job there and currently she was a jobless stay at home fiancé soon to be wife. Haley had never considered that her style. Peyton was the strong independent type and yet she was now merely someone's fiancée rather than her own person.

Haley sighed and ran her hand through her hair once more as she noticed the sign of that told her Delaware state lines weren't far anymore. She was tired but had at least twice the time that had passed still ahead of her. Softly she sang along to the song that was currently playing " In the morning it comes, heaven sent a hurricane. Not a trace of the sun but I don't even run from rain  
>Beating out of my chest, my heart is holding on to you. From the moment I knew. From the moment I knew"<br>As she leaned forward a little over her steering wheel she looked up at the sky. The sky looked dark and cloudy; threatening. She hoped she would drive through it before the storm that was hanging above her broke loose.

Dialing Derek's number, the first rain drops started to fall. Haley softly cursed both the rain and Derek's voicemail. At the end of Derek's voicemail message the rained had doubled. "Hey, baby. I'm almost in Delaware. Just thought I led you know. But the weather is getting worse by the minute so I'm gonna hang. I love you see you Saturday!"

As she hung up her phone lightning struck and frightened Haley a little. She turned up the windscreen wipers to keep sight through all the rain. There she noticed the sign; "Delaware State Line" and the Delaware Memorial Bridge. A long bridge… Right across nothing but water. Lightning struck again startling Haley once more. She had a bad feeling about this. But driving another route would mean it'd take her another day to get to Peyton and John's. Plus she was now on the bridge there really wasn't any turning back. She kept her eyes on the road and tried not to let the lightning and thunder get to her. "Never mind what I knew, nothing seems to matter now. Ooh, who I was without you, I can do without. No one knows where it ends, how it may come tumbling down. But I'm here with you now. I'm with you now"

She was almost across as her phone rang. She looked aside to her purse on the seat next to her. Bringing her eyes back to the road she put her hand in her purse to answer it. When her purse fell over Haley looked down to look for her phone that had fallen out and off the seat. Suddenly the loudest thunder so far hit scaring Haley, causing her the swirl the wheel. The road was slippery because of the rain and the car slid across the other half of the road and crashing through the railings down the bridge. "Let the world come rush in. Come down hard, come crushing. All I need is right here beside me. I'm not enough, I swear it. But take my love and wear it over your shoulders."

As it all happened so fast Haley never realized what happened before she hit the water. The car with her in it went down in the water. Water was everywhere, slowly seeping into the car. The music was still playing. Haley closed the tear filled eyes and mouthed the words along as the water level in the car rose.. "And if you say we'll be alright. "I'm gonna trust you, babe. I'm gonna look in your eyes. And if you say we'll be alright. I'll follow you into the light…."

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><p><strong>Hi! And whatcha think? let me know!<strong>

**ps. the song was THE LIGHT by Sara Bareilles**


	2. Find Me, Find You

**Hey! I got so many great responses from the first chapter so I thought i'd publish chapter2 as soo as posible so here it is! pleae R&R!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2. Find Me Find You<strong>

"I couldn't sleep last night.. I just knew something was wrong. And then, then, when I finally opened my eyes it was right in front of me. The grueling fact my wedding anniversary will always come with the memorial of my best friend's death."

Peyton sobbed into her fiancé arms. Haley should have been there yesterday it worried Peyton that she wasn't but because of the terrible weather conditions she figured Haley had probably taken a motel and would arrive in the morning. But all night long all she could do was toss and turn. Wondering if Haley was really okay. She never called. Until the next morning. Derek. He sounded broken. Crying almost hysterically as he told her. They found her car along the Delaware bay coast. Without her. Nobody had seen her. Only a few had seen her car crash off the bridge.

She wasn't even sure if she'd get married Saturday. The idea of celebrating her love for John, without and not even a week after losing her best friend. Peyton cried a little harder as John softly stroked her back trying to calm her down. "She can't be dead, John.." Peyton said lifting her head from his chest. "she could have washed up on shore with her car, woken up and started walking! She can't be dead!" She exclaimed and threw herself back into his arms crying. Instead of having everyone they knew come to Maryland for the wedding, they flew out the New Jersey for Haley 'burial' tomorrow. The search team and Delaware state Police a stated that given the weather and the current in the bay it was highly unlikely Haley had survived. Since she wasn't in the car anymore, she must have been washed out. The current could have taken her anywhere, but most likely; Sea. The Atlantic.

All this naturally after she'd already drowned. The police had claimed she'd possibly be found in a matter of weeks of months, if the currents changed. She would wash up somewhere on the east coast. If not, the current had taken her up sea and she'd probably be eaten by sharks. Yeah, they had been real sensitive in their explanations.

Peyton pulled herself together and started packing a suitcase to fly out to New Jersey tomorrow. John sighed and kissed her forehead. "It's gonna be okay." He whispered and picked up the phone. He had a bunch of people to call off. Because this was not the time to get married.

Brooke skipped along the beach as she went after the football her brother threw. She never caught it. Sports other than cheering had never really been her thing. Brooke just finished her first year of College at Duke University; The place her brother graduated 2 years prior. Now she was home for the summer and their parents still didn't give a shit, she spend it with her big brother who was also home for the summer and had a beach house in their home town.

Nathan, her brother, wasn't home much. Even though he officially lived in Tree Hill, he was most of the year off in Charlotte or somewhere else in the country since her played for the Bobcats. That's why she loved spending the summer with him, it was the most they go to see of each other during a year.

The summers were always nice weather in Tree Hill, plus she wasn't really very close with any of the college friends. She usually kept to herself. People had a tendency to stick to her in the hope of catching a glimpse of her NBA star brother Nathan Scott.

Who by the way, spend his summers without basketball. As much as she knew he loved that game, playing it year round , made him want to do something else during his summer.

Today it was playing football with his little sister, something she knew he loved just because it meant that he had her running up and down the beach, because she couldn't catch a ball if her life depended on it.

"Nate!" Brooke whined. "Stop throwing the damn ball so hard! I'm tired!" She picked up the ball and tossed it back at Nathan. Nathan caught the ball and then watched his sister amused as she adjusted both her bikini top and the mint green shorts she was wearing.

His sister really was a bit of a shallow type when it came to her looks, although he'd be lying if her said he didn't care about his own looks. He knew he was handsome and hot and arrogant about it. "Once more Brookie" He chuckled as he tossed the ball to Brooke, but again Brooke failed to catch it. It bounced off her finger tips and rolled into the water. As the little girl Nathan remember her to be she raced after the ball into the water to get it.

It really was a heartwarming sight. She'd always be his baby sister, no matter how old she'd get. Or who she'd marry. He didn't like the guy she was currently seeing. She knew him from Duke. He was, typical Brooke fashion, king of the hype – Like he used to be himself. Star of the Duke blue devils; Play boy Lucas Roe. He had met the kid once, when he went to visit his baby sister at school and attended a Duke Game – something he enjoyed doing a Alumni Duke Blue Devil. The guy was good, real good, but he seemed way too interested in all of the other girls to be his sister's boyfriend. He had been like that too, heck he still was, but he had never had a girlfriend because he knew commitment was his thing.

"Oh my god! Nathan!" Brooke's screeching voice brought her out of her thoughts. "Brooke what's wrong!" He ran up to where his sister was standing in the water. "Over there Nate! I think there's a body floating!" Nathan strained his eyes to see.

Brooke looked over at her brother as she saw the same realization dawn on him. "Fuck." He muttered and dashed over to where the body was floating. Quickly Brooke followed.

"It's a girl.. Brooke give me a hand." Nathan shouted as they pulled her out of the water together.

As they were back on the beach, they laid her down in the sand and checked her pulse. "Is she still alive?" Nathan nodded. "I feel a pulse, but it's weak."

Brooke bend down and give her mouth to mouth. Hoping the girl would wake up and cough up the water she must have swallowed. "Nathan she's not waking up." Brooke said coming up for air. Immediately she bend down again to blow more air into the girls lungs.

Suddenly the girl coughed up the water and shot up. Watching the girl cough up the water out of her lungs, Brooke and Nathan sat back watching.

The girl was quite small, but didn't look extremely young. She short curly blonde hair was wet and now sandy. She was wearing what seemed to have once been brown suede boots, with a three inch heel. Skinny jeans, a white tank top and a jacket.

Brooke eyes the girl carefully. "Hello?" the girl looked up at Brooke with Big brown bewildered eyes. "Where am I?" the girl suddenly looked very scared. "I'm Brooke and that is my brother Nathan. You're in Tree Hill North Carolina."

"Oh.." Was all the girl said.

"What's your name?" Nathan asked the girl careful, she looked frightened. The thoughtful look dawned on her face and she frowned, before looking up even more scared and panicked than before. "I don't know."

"Oh my god… I don't know." The girl started crying and looking around her. "Calm down. We're gonna help you. Let's get you inside first she you can put some dry clothes on." Brooke said.

Nathan looked worried at his sister, but didn't say anything. They just helped the girl up on her feet and walked her to the beach house.

Once inside Brooke looked at her brother. 'I'll help her up, you make her some food. I think she'll want something in her stomach other than sea water.

"That be nice." The girl said. Brooke looked up surprised that she'd talked, since she hadn't said a whole lot yet." "come on, we'll get you some dry clothes."

Brooke walked her up the stairs and to her bedroom.

There, the girl sat down on the bed. "you want to take a shower?" Brooke pointed to the bathroom. The girl nodded and began to take her clothes off. She pulled her tank top over her head.

"Haley?"

"Yes?" the girl answered, but immediately looked up at Brooke with big eyes. 'that's you name!" She smiled and pointed to the golden necklace that hung around her neck; "Haley"

Haley smiled; "that's my name." She stood there smiling at the necklace around her neck. Musing over the name that sounded so familiar and yet no quite as her own.

"Haley?" the voice of the young girl brought her out of her thoughts. Brooke. The girl had introduced herself as Brooke. 'Uhm yeah?" she looked up and her eyes met with Brooke's.

"You were gonna take a shower, remember? Or is your short term memory a little lacking as well?" Haley looked up at the girl, Brooke – She had to keep reminding herself that the brunettes name was Brooke. She didn't think what the girl said was funny. And she seemed to have meant it as a joke. But to be quite honest she felt very uncomfortable and kind of panic-y. Having no memory other than the last ten minutes. Knowing nothing about yourself than your first name.

"Yes, I'm gonna take a shower and No, I hadn't forgotten." Haley told the brunette a little harsh.

Brooke promptly took a step a little startled by Haley reaction. As Haley disappeared into the bathroom, Brooke mused over Haley's harsh response to her innocent question and eventually came to the conclusion that having no memory of who you are or where you're from must be frightening and that's why the subject of a bad memory must be touchy.

Brooke felt kinda bad. She wanted to make Haley feel better not worse. Head down Brooke laid out clothes and underwear for Haley as she went to put Haley's own clothes into the washing machine.

As she came downstairs Nathan was standing in the kitchen bend over the stove. "Whatcha making her?" Brooke asked in a attempt to the disguise her discomfort.

"the Mac and Cheese from last night.." Nathan said. "I'm not that great a cook you know that." Brooke nodded absently. She wondered what had to happen to a person to lose all memory of who you once were and wash up on the beach of a small town, you can't remembered every having been.

"Is the girl okay?" Nathan asked. He stirred the food and the turned the stove down, letting it sit for a bit.

"Haley"

"huh? What?" Nathan asked as her turned around to face is baby sister. "her name. It's Haley. She had a necklace with her name on it."

Nathan nodded. He really didn't want anything to do with this drama and he was planning to drop her off at the police station as soon as she'd changed and eaten. A girl with no memory – or so she claimed – could only mean trouble. And as for the no memory thing, she could might as well be faking it. She could just be broke, have done some research on the people one town over, go for a swim, fake amnesia and feed of other people.

So he wasn't planning on having her to stay. But the look in his sister's eyes as she told him the girls name she discovered, told him that it was going to be hard convincing Brooke of this. Brooke just always had this compassionate way about her and he knew that Brooke was planning to get to the bottom of the 'mystery'.

"Aren't you at all excited to find out where she's from and who she is?" Nathan shook his head. "Brooke I just want you to know that she might be fraud and that the whole amnesia thing could be fake. If that's the case she's just here to squeeze as much money out of us as possible." Brooke gave him a hurt look. "Why do you always have to think the worst of people! First Lucas! Now Haley!" Brooke stormed back to the staircase. "You know. Haley is going through such a frightening thing. Not remembering anything at all!"

Nathan stormed after her. "you know what a frightening thing is Brooke? Having someone in your home you know nothing about! Now go upstairs and keep an eye on her. See if your jewelry are still there." Brooke stormed off.

Nathan sighed.

As Brooke came upstairs Haley was dressed and was drying her hair. "Your brother doesn't trust me." She stated. "I do." Brooke said.

"Nathan has a lot to protect. His image that kinda thing. He's just afraid you're a fraud. He'll warm up to you." Haley went to sit on Brooke's bed.

"I'm married" she said and held up her hand showing her the wedding band. "His name is Derek." Brooke frowned.

"That's the name engraved in it." She took it off and showed Brooke.

Brooke looked in the golden wedding band, where the name was engraved in. She thoughts it was so cool this puzzle of who Haley was and where she came from and why she didn't remember.

"That's so awesome! We should make a board! You know where we write down everything we find out about you." Haley chuckled and put the ring back on. "You're weird."

"Brooke! Come on! Mom and Dad are expecting us and we still have to drop "Haley" off at the Police station." Nathan called from downstairs.

Brooke eyes widened as she heard her brothers words. "Nathan! We can't do that!" Brooke we so mad at her brother right now. She hated it when he did that; Telling her what to do.

Nathan came into the room when Brooke started complaining again. He really didn't want all this trouble on his hands. Before you knew the media would pick up on the unknown girl is his life and blow it up and he really didn't want that. He just wanted to spend a quiet summer with his sister, not hunting down some girls identity.

He looked at Brooke and the slowly casted a look towards Haley. As the most unexpected of clichés of this moment. He caught his breath, as the girl they fished out of the sea stood there practically glowing. Her short blonde curls bouncy around her head and a pair of beautiful brown eyes, made her angel-like.

"Brooke, The police have a much better chance at finding out who she is… the can check all records of missing people and accidents along the east coast. That way they'll know in no time who she is and where she's from okay?"

Brooke stared at her brother as if he were crazy. "No! not okay. She doesn't know anyone. Just us, we can't just drop her off at the police station and say 'hey good luck hope you'll find your husband back!" She didn't understand her brother could be such and insensitive jackass!

'She has a husband?" Nathan asked. He supposed it surprised him because she seemed his sister's age. Not a lot of women her married at 20.

"Yes!"

"Well I think that even more reason to make sure she find out who she is even quicker and her husband will be looking for her, so than the cops should find out who she is in no time."

Brooke's shoulders slumped. 'Nate.." Brooke whined.

Nathan groaned. He hated when Brooke pulled out the old puppy dog eyes and baby sister pleading.

"Brooke stop behaving like this girl is your own private toy for the summer. She has a life to get back to."

Haley stood there watching the siblings argue over what to do with her. She rolled her eyes at that. The girl; Brooke, seemed indeed like a little child whose toy was being taken away and the guy was just acting like a jackass. Not for wanting to take her to the police station but for the simple fact that her thought she was a fraud. 'cause seriously who would wanna pretend not to remember their life. It's not like it was fun.

"But Nate! What if her husband was abusing her and he tried to kill her and it's how she ended up in the water! Then we just drop her of at his doorstep?"

'Ahem." Haley cleared her throat. The girl had a seriously wild imagination. Haley could already tell that she was not the kind of girl that would put of with a guy that would hit her. Plus, the name in her ring gave her a good feeling. It was probably her forgotten memories trying to tell her she loved her husband.

The sibling looked up at her. "I think Nathan I right. The police can help me find the people I belong with even though I have no idea where that is. Once I find them my memory will probably come back. It'll just need something to trigger it." Brooke looked incredibly sad. "But I don't want you to go…"

"And just for the record. What you two decide is irrelevant. I might not remember who I am, but I have a mind that works fine and still my own will."

Nathan stood there listening gaping at her. He had to admit her spirit and stubbornness was incredibly attractive. Even without knowing her, he knew she must have been a strong headed character; a handful for her husband. He liked.

'Come on. I've made you some food. Eat. After that Brooke and I need to go. You can come with us. We can show you where the Police station is. Whatever you think is best."

Haley raised an eyebrow. His change of attitude was surprising. 'Yeay! Haley you have to come with us!" Brooke bounced up and down.

"We'll see. But I am kinda hungry so…" Brooke grabbed her hands and pulled her down the stairs. "I'm so excited. We made you Mac and Cheese I hope you like it. And maybe tomorrow we can go shopping for some new clothes, I mean you can have some of mine, but who know if you'll ever find you home so.. anyway. I'm so excited!"

Brooke pulled her into the kitchen and pushed the plate in front of her. Here eat.

Nathan followed them into the kitchen and shook his head at Brooke. If Haley had a choice, Brooke would make sure she choose what Brooke wanted. 'cause Brooke got what Brooke wanted.

He shook his head. If he didn't already felt bad for the girl, he sure did now.

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><p><strong>So what did you think? Let me know! Please Review!<strong>

**:Love philine**


	3. Looking for Me

**Hi everyone. **

**I had some great review on my story and I've reading a couple of amnesia stories on fanfiction to catalize inspiration and the technical details on amnesia (although, Wikipedia is probably a better source)  
>I also wanted to set the record on a couple of things. 1. Since the chance of Haley's body turning up was considered small after a week, they burried her casket without a body, so she has a memorial place even though they'll never find her body.<br>Also, Haley drove down the bridge on a monday. she washed up on the beach on saturday (the day Peyton was suppose to get married) and it's now a week after that. So two weeks after she drove off the bridge.  
>So here's chapter 3. <strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 3. Looking for me<strong>

"I honestly don't know where to start." Haley told Brooke.

"I mean it's been a week since I woke up on the beach here in Tree Hill, but other than my first name and the fact that apparently I have a husband by the name of Derek, we still know nothing. The police can't find me in missing person database and are even a little bit curious to look a little further." Haley sigh and put her head on the table. She could honestly remember every single one of her memories – You know since they had the extend of a week time.

It's was exactly that, that she'd been doing all week trying to remember and so she'd played every memory she did have over in her head time and time again.

"I know Haley and I know it's way too soon to give up and except that you might never find your old family back, but it can't hurt to… you know.. live your life here right." Brooke looked at Haley carefully , obviously afraid to hurt her feelings.

'Well yeah, Brooke. I know it's possible and probably the reality, but I just wonder if I'll not always wonder what life I left behind and whether I'd found them if I tried a little harder." Haley banged her head against the table top repeatedly. The last week has been exhausting. They'd taken her to the police station to check out whether she was in missing persons. But she wasn't. Then they'd taken her to the hospital to get her checked out and see if the amnesia would be temporarily or not. They had done all the possible tests on her to eventually conclude that they couldn't tell whether her memory would come back. Their only conclusion was that given the bump on her head and the memory loss, she'd probably hit her head in the accident she most likely suffered.

Summarized that meant they didn't know a thing. They were all 'probably's' and 'most likely's' and 'maybe's' it was driving her crazy.

She just felt like she had no place to tie herself to. Without a home that felt like home, there was no real leaving and even more no coming home. She'd be traveling from place to place for the rest of her life never feeling home. The prospect alone made her sad.

"Haley you have to think positive. We could sent out adds to like national papers. I mean 'girl washed up on beach with no memory' it's a great headline. Anyone whose recently lost someone close to them we'll come and see if it's you!"

Haley shook her head and sat back in the booth of the café they were currently drinking coffee. "Brooke, you can't do that. People that have no knowledge of me will come and try to claim me for who know what kind of life and can't tell if I know them or not. But more importantly Brooke, the people I do belong with probably think I'm dead; so they won't come. Or don't care that's why they didn't report me missing." Brooke sighed. 'You have to try Haley! You're always gonna be alone if you don't try"

Haley smiled weakly. Brooke was a great girl in a lot of ways she was like a sister to her. After all she was one of the few people she did know. Nathan had grown to accept her, since she tried so hard to find out where she was from. But she knew Nathan wasn't planning on letting her stay with them forever. No matter how much Brooke might see the future like that.

"I googled your name the other day!" Brooke told her cheerfully. "Turns out there are a lot of people by the name of Haley with a husband by the name of Derek. I mean on personal Blogs en Facebook and MySpace and god know what else." She sighed again the search was exhausting every minute someone was getting her hopes up to eventually tell her that .. well it didn't help to find her identity.

"Anyway, since we assume you're from the east coast, I made a list of all of them I could find and crossed off everyone that's not from an east coast state." Brooke chatted away animatedly. It was like freaking CSI to the girl – yes she watched the marathon with Brooke the weekend. Haley figured it was the most excitement the girl had known in her life, growing up in a town like this.

That immediately gave Haley the feeling she was from a bigger town of city.

Brooke stopped talking and saw Haley off in her own world. She felt honestly bad for the girl, the idea of not remembering scared her to bits. She tried to Help Haley as well as possible, but she knew that the chance of finding out where she was from was slim to none.

Suddenly Lucas slid into the booth with them. He'd arrived in town a couple day ago after she told him she couldn't come to him because of the girl she found on the beach. Brooke was afraid that if she left her alone with Nathan, Nathan would kick her out. He wanted to she just knew it. But she also wasn't about to let him kick a girl to the street that had nowhere to go, and nothing to build a life with because she had no social security number.

"Hey, Luke." She smiled kissing him softly on the lips. "Who she?" he asked as he pulled her close. Haley still seemed a million miles away. "This is Haley, Haley this is Lucas." Haley blinked a couple of times before she looked back at Brooke and then Lucas.

Haley smiled at the guy. He seemed like a nice guy, a little younger than she was she could tell, college like Brooke. Haley had for herself determent that she was older than Brooke. Probably by a couple years. She didn't tell Brooke. Brooke already felt like she was being ignored. Whenever they discussed the 'what's next' in the search for who she was, she usually discussed it with Nathan. Brooke world seemed a little too pink in her opinion.

"Hi, Lucas. It's nice to meet you. I'm Haley." She said. He grinned at her and reached for her head as she held it out. "Nice to meet you too, It's Lucas Roe." Haley smiled.

It was a little unnerving for Haley, whenever people seemed to stare at her she was always afraid that they might be staring at her because they knew her.

As Lucas sat with them Brooke chatted away with him, while Haley zoned out again. She did that a lot whenever something happened she always wondered whether the old her, would have done the same thing. If the person she was before that the kind of person to space out all of the time. If the old her was just as introvert. If she had always had a dislike for people telling her what to do and people who made no point of hiding their dislike for her; like Nathan had at first.

Even though Nathan thought with them about what they could do to find out who she was, he seemed to do it with the sole purpose of getting her out of his house and even more so out of his sisters life. She and Nathan had a bumpy start. He didn't trust her; she didn't like him and then there was Brooke standing in the middle as the little girl who saw to wrong in the world and just wanted everyone to be nice and get along.

Haley had noticed days ago that her and Nathan tended to ignore Brooke because she just looked at the things with pink glasses. She thought too easy about everything and besides that she seemed to be having way too much fun having her as her personal toy or something. From his attitude she knew Nathan wasn't used to anything different. That was probably part of the reason he didn't wanna keep her around. Taking care of two of girls who weren't aware of the way of the world, was probably not a task he wanted to take on. No blame. But a part of her knew the way of the world just fine and Nathan had noticed that. It was just that, that had her thinking she was older that Brooke.

Haley still wondered every day if somewhere in the country there was someone mourning her or hoping for her to return. She wished–

"Hello to you too Haley." A voice broke her from her thoughts. "Oh.. Hey Nathan." She muttered.

"She been off in Haley land all day.." Brooke told her brother. "No news from the cops?" he asked. Haley shook her head and looked out the window again. She just really wished she could feel like she belonged somewhere.

Nathan slid into the booth next to her. "How are you doing?" He asked her.

Nathan wasn't about to sit there and just chat away with that Lucas kid. He didn't get what his baby sister saw in the guy, much less why she invited him to town. So he opted for ignoring the kid and making conversation with Haley.

"I'm fine.." She muttered. "I'm just.. wondering. You know? Whether I'll ever know where I'm from. Whether I'll ever belong somewhere again." Nathan chuckled at her. "Nothing new I'd say."

Haley rolled her eyes at him. "Yeah.. you laugh, but there nothing funny about having literally nothing. And it's driving me crazy!" Haley rated before she poked him in his arm.

"You mean more than you already are 'cause no memory sounds kinda freakish to me." Nathan grinned. He had learned many days ago, he love getting Haley all riled up. Her biggest lacking, the best thing to tease her with.

"Jerk" Haley poked him again. "What, Haley? You know it's true." He grinned poking her back.

'Well, that's no reason to tease me with it. It's not like I can help it!"

Nathan rolled his eyes as he laughed the girl was so easy to get angry. He looked up and winked at the waitress that stared at him from behind the bar. He knew her, he went to high school with her and ever since she'd flirt with him whenever he was in town. He took her out a couple years ago or so after years of back and forth silent flirting. He took her to a club they had a good time, took her home, banged her and ever since they just went back to flirting; Like he did with almost ever female.

Maggie, Maggie was her name. Is her name. Maggie came up to their table and place her hands flat on the tabletop. "Hey, Handsome. What can I get you?"

"..hm, So much for hospitality.." He heard Haley mutter under her breath. Nathan grinned; Haley was being jealous. "Just a coffee. Haley you wanted something?" Nathan watched Haley look up from the window and nod. "a coffee please.." she smiled at Maggie.

"Okay coming right up." Maggie said, flashing Haley a fake smile and him a sugar sweet one. As she walked away Nathan rolled his eyes at the girl. Maggie was a bit of a twit.

"Your girlfriend or just your regular?" Haley mused. He wasn't quite sure what to make of her expression and tone. Whether it was slight disgust or amusement. "Jealous?"

"Of what exactly? The fake boobs or the fact she's your slut?" Nathan grinned at Haley countering. She sure was one hell of spit fire. "Like you know if yours aren't fake."

"Oh I know.. you can feel the difference." She leaned in and whispered it in his ear. "But I guess you'll never really know."

Nathan dribbled a basketball over his back porch. He had been so preoccupied with finding and helping Haley that he hadn't been busy with keeping in shape. For over the last week his mind had wondered over keeping in shape I a whole other way; his favorite way. But he knew he couldn't do that. A. Haley didn't look like the girl to mess with and B. she was married. She might not know where or who the guy is but she must love him and he her.

He'd been pissed when Brooke told she wanted to go to Florida for a few days with her Boy Toy Lucas, especially when Haley told her to just go an enjoy her life. Brooke had been doubting whether she should leave Haley. But Haley had encouraged her to go, saying she was fine and that she didn't need to stick around for her. "Life is short and loves are rare, make the most of it before you know it, it's all gone." Her exact words. God he wanted to kill Haley right then en there!

Now it was just him and Haley. And he was mad at Haley for encouraging his sister for going off with that joke.

"You still pissed off?" Haley asked as she walked outside. "yeah.. You pushed my sister to go off to Florida with a horny fratboy!" In anger he slammed the ball hard against the wooden floorboards.

"Oh get over yourself! You think Brooke didn't tell me about your ways. You're just as much a Playboy as, or even more than Lucas! Mr. Big NBA star I'm a god and sleep around. You have no right to judge Lucas!"

Nathan snapped and pushed Haley aside. 'At least I'm honest and not pretending to be interested in a relationship!"

Haley rolled her eyes. "have you ever considered settling down, for real. Like somewhere in the future? When you meet someone for real. Someone that always on your mind, makes you smile when she walks into the room. That kinda thing?"

Nathan scoffed. "I suppose, one day. What does this have to do with anything?" Haley shook her head. Nathan could be kinda clueless for a guy who was always looking out for himself.

"Well, I've met Lucas and he smiles – a real smile – When he sees Brooke. Maybe someday and the right girl, came along a little sooner for him than for you. It's no reason to judge him." Haley patted his shoulder. "You should have a little bit more faith in your sister's feminine powers. She's quite a persona."

Nathan chuckled and sat down, looking out over the beach and the sea. "I guess you're right. I'm probably just pissed he stole my baby sister from me for the 4th of July." At that Haley could only smile. There was a nice guy underneath the tough exterior. Maybe even a softy.

"Then I guess it's a good thing I'm here. I suppose there's a thing or two your can teach me about tomorrow. I suppose amnesia is a strange condition." Haley was clear on most common knowledge, even some of her college education; Something she wasn't sure about but thought was true based on the things she knew and the fact that both Brooke and Nathan kept looking at her like she was some sort of nerd at some of her comments. Such as dates for Celebrations like Christmas, the 4th of July, Easter and thanksgiving and what they meant; those things she all knew. But how you celebrated them she didn't, only why.

Nathan grinned. "Now you can only hope you can trust me!" he nudged her and she chuckled. She liked Nathan – when he let his guard down – and she figured with Brooke in Florida they could get to know each other better.

"So You really sure you went to college?" Nathan asked. Haley looked up strangely, she wondered why he brought that up so suddenly. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Why?" Nathan grinned.

"There's this party tonight, if you can party like college girl, we'll know for sure."

"Hey, Derek." Peyton voice sounded defeated. Derek wasn't picking up. She was worried about him. Ever since she had gotten back from New Jersey after the 'burial' she hadn't been able to get a hold of Derek. She had the gut feeling he was lying in bed, crying feeling miserable. It was the way she felt.

"It's me Peyton. I just wanted to know how you're doing. It must be tough, first 4th of July in four years, without Haley. I know she's only been gone for like two weeks but… I hoped you'd come to Maryland for the 4th. We'd really like you to be here. And I know Haley wouldn't want you to spend the day alone, probably in bed crying over her." She didn't know what else to say. Whenever she thought about Haley and she didn't feel like she could take the pain anymore. She always pretend Haley was sitting on a cloud watching her. She'd think about how would scold at her for not living her life. Haley would always degrade herself for the people she cared about.

"Just look at t this way Derek. Haley is sitting up there, watching you 24/7. Because she just died she's still 24/7 busy with watching the people she left behind. And you honestly think She'd enjoy watching you lie in bed all day feeling sorry for yourself? No, she's yelling at you to go do something interesting; so you don't bore her to her 2nd death." Peyton didn't know what to tell him anymore. She just… She was about to hang up when Derek picked up the phone.

"Shut up, Peyton. Shut up. You don't know what I'm going through and Haley is gone she isn't watching she's at the bottom of the Atlantic! You don't know what I'm going through! Because at the end of the day your crawl into bed with John and your ask him to hold you and you cry on his shoulder! At the end of my day… I'm still alone. And Every minute of every day I'm reminded that she'd gone. And never coming back! And all I feeling is pain and emptiness. I feel like I can't breathe, like there's a hole in my lung or something that lets all the air escape before I get my oxygen. It hurts. She's gone.. She's just gone. And I just don't know where to go from here! So please Shut up! Don't tell me to have fun, because… things are only fun when Haley smiles.. and she.. she doesn't smile anymore. She just… She's just dead. Gone. " then the line went dead.

Peyton closed her eye in defeat and pain. She could hear the pain in his voice as he spoke of her. He missed her. Like crazy. It took awhile for Peyton to find her voice. She dialed the number again. Voicemail. "You're not alone. Spend the 4th with us." She hung up and looked up at John, who was asleep on their couch. Ever since she heard Derek tell her that Haley had gone off that bridge 2 weeks ago, she hadn't been able to sleep properly. She woke at all hours of the night crying for Haley and she'd fall asleep at all hours of the day dreaming about Haley coming home. So it had definitely influenced John as well.

Her wedding had been the furthest thing from her mind. She didn't regret canceling her wedding, though she sometimes wondered when she could be happy enough again to get married.

She didn't know how to get married without Haley. Who had to be her maid of honor without Haley.

It just seemed unreal. Haley lived so far away and it had only been two weeks. Her feelings told her Haley was just in New Jersey. During a normal day she wasn't confronted with the death of her best friend. It wasn't until she had fight with John or something else happened she really needed to share with her best friend that she realized that Haley wasn't there anymore. That she would never be again. So indeed she couldn't imagine how Derek must feel. Being confronted with her absence, her death, every moment of every day. Having no one to turn to when you feel your worst.

She honestly didn't know what to do.

John yawned as he woke up, he looked at her and immediately saw she'd been crying. He got up and pulled her into a hug as he reached her. "Oh babe.."He muttered softly, by lack of better.

Truth was, there are very few words that make the loss of someone you love bearable or even less painful. "How about we go out to dinner tonight. Have some fun.. Forget for a little bit." Peyton pulled away and looked up at him brusquely. "Forget? I don't wanna forget. I already can barely remember her smell and the sound of her voice. Sometimes I need pictures to remember the color of her hair. I'm already forgetting too much and it's only been two weeks!" She pushed out of his arms and grabbed her purse before leaving the house.

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><p><strong>So chapter 3! Let me know what you think. I'm gonna post chapter 4 I think tuesday. maybe a little bit later. I am going away for a week or so on friday next week so I'll post it before then. and then I guess you'll hav to do without for a little bit. I'll post chapte 5 a soon a possible after that!<strong>

**Love philine**


	4. The 4th the 5th the last?

**So here a last minute update before I dissapear of the face of the earth for some much deserved vacationing. I'm gonna say it's not very elaborate, but there's some hinting... I would have added more to the chapter but it was either update before my holiday or write a longer chapter.. i went with the first.  
>So I hope you'll like it let me know... R&amp;R! <strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 4. The 4th the 5th the last?<strong>

"I wonder…" Haley mused out loud. Haley put a flower in her hair as she started whistling a tune. She looked at her reflection in the mirror. Nathan hadn't been very elaborate about what to wear. 'jst something nice." He'd said. So she'd gone with a cute white tunic dress with a little embroidery at the top. It was a cute innocent piece that Brooke had given her. She said it reminded her of Haley's memory; you know blank. Stupid joke.

She adjusted the daisy in her hair, she wasn't sure that it was quite right for the occasion, but it had to do. Plus she thought she look good.

Nathan said he and some old friends had some low key plans for the day but she wasn't sure what exactly. Right now she really regretted telling Brooke to leave. She could use a buddy.

The longer she was here and the more people she met is less she wondered about where she was from and where so should be. Home. Wherever that may be.

"Haley! Are you coming?" Nathan called from downstairs. Nathan. Brooke. Tree Hill. She could see herself live here for the rest of her live doing.. well.. whatever. She like this place and the people. And how big was the chance that her memory would come back. Memory loss wasn't exactly known to be always temporary, or so she read.

"Hales?" She shook off her thoughts as she grabbed the purse from the bed. Brooke told her that she was free to use her stuff and even got her her own make up and purse. (not like she needed a purse. 'cause she had no money and not even a ID card of a debit card.

"Yes I'm coming." Haley skipped down the stairs and halted three steps from the bottom. Nathan was standing there, hands in his pockets of his khaki pants and his white button-up unbuttoned at the top. Damn he took handsome. "Nice." Nathan grinned as her saw her come down the steps and halt. Haley shrugged it amused and nonchalantly off. "You don't look so bad yourself." She replied with a slight smile playing on her lips. Nathan stared at her for a bit before shrugging it off, to turn around.

"Come on, we're late."

Peyton walked into the familiar house at 10PM last night. And when she woke up this morning it was because of the awful pain in her back from sleeping on the couch. It had been pretty Late and it seemed as though Derek had already gone to bed. But as she had woken up she hadn't been able to find him. Now that she was done cleaning up the mess in the kitchen, she sat down at the kitchen table. Ever since she left her own house last night all she'd allowed herself to think about was Derek and how Derek was doing. Telling herself that it was her duty as Haley best friend to make sure that her Husband wouldn't fall of the deep end without her.

But now that she was sitting here, she realized she just needed to get out of her own house because she couldn't bear being in the same house as John right now. Naturally she's stomped out because she was upset but the moment she left she'd refused to think about what happened between her and John and she'd justified her departure with the fact that Derek really needed her right now.

She felt like everything in her home was currently set on moving on and forgetting what happened, restart wedding planning and all that stuff. John would rather forget about her losing her best friend. Maybe with all the right reasons but it was simply too early to just wanna move on. So, she'd gone to Derek to help him grieve. To grieve with him. To grieve at a place where her pain would be allowed and understood, rather than put away.

She sat in the kitchen staring mindlessly ahead when she heard the front door open and close. She lifted her head from where it had been resting on her hands and she looked up.

Derek was standing in the living room with red bloodshot eyes staring aimlessly ahead. "Derek." Peyton whispered. She gave him a pitiful smile and stood up to hug him. He seemed numbed by the obvious amounts of alcohol he had consumed. As she pulled the man in to her arms she felt him cling to her. "I miss her Peyton." He cried. Peyton kept holding him tied as he spoke his paining words. Only when she noticed the wet spots on the back of Derek's t-shirt where it was previously dry, she noticed she was crying. She pulled away and dried her own tears as well as Derek's.

"I miss her too. So much." She told him. It was hard to be dealing with anything else when the constant pain of someone's permanent absence is haunting you. The idea that she was never coming back. That she was dead. That she was never ever ever ever ever coming back.

"Come on.." She whispered as she led him upstairs and helped him out of his alcohol raking clothes and into the shower. Not bothering to deal with the everyday normality's such as seeing her best friends husband naked. It just couldn't be bothered with. Plus, it wasn't like Haley was there to have a problem with it. As Derek showered Peyton made him Brunch and laid out some clean clothes and painkillers for him.

She understood Derek's obvious pain better than anyone. I mean, sure everyone understood that you're hurting when your wife dies, but only those close enough to the person they lost would actually feel the physical impact themselves. Like Haley held the small piece of their hearts and as she died those pieces died with her, making them feeling the actual physical pain of her death.

A little later Derek came downstairs freshly washed and slightly sobered up. "thanks Peyton. I'm sorry for yelling at you ever the phone yesterday.." He trailed off when he saw the brunch she'd put together. "It's okay.. I get it. Let's eat." She smiled and got seated across the kitchen table.

"Hales, these are a bunch of my old friends. This here is Jake, Junk, Fregie, Mouth, Skills, and there's Millie, but she's Mouth girl currently. And there's Sarah She's been with Jake since sophomore year they have a little girl together. And last is Lauren, skills' girl." Haley nodded taking in all of the people in front of her. "And Nate? Is Haleesss, your girl?"

Nathan chuckled a rolled his eyes at Skills antics. "No, Haley is a friends of mine and Brooke's and since Brookie monster is in Florida with this month's flavor. I figured can't let her sit at home alone."

Nathan was sure to leave out that she washed up on the beach with no memory because frankly that really wasn't his place and who would actually want every single person you meet to know that you have no memory of yourself; that just scream to be taken advantage of.

Haley smiled gratefully at Nathan for leaving it out. They were currently sitting on a picknick table next to a basketball court. The previously introduced girls had brought loads of food in picknickbaskets and the guy were now playing ball.

Haley hopped off the table so that the girl could set the table with the food and drinks.

Nathan drove his car onto the field and turned on his radio on fully. Now the music was blasting and the food was out the guy were playing nobody else seemed to be doing anything else. She sat down on the bleachers that stood along the side of the court. "Hey" One of the women said. The one that Nathan had introduced to her as Lauren. 'Hi.. Lauren is it right?" Lauren nodded. "You new in town?"

Now it was Haley's turn to nod. "eh.. Yeah.. I'm currently staying with Nathan and Brooke." Currently meaning for the foreseeable future, because it would be hard to get a job with her nonexistent identity.. (no that Brooke hadn't mention to be extremely good at making fake ID's but still..)

"Oh really, why?" Haley smiled nervously. "I've got no place to go.. I'm without a home and family, so I'm lucky that they're willing to .. look after me." The question got on her nerves. A. because she had a feeling that they didn't trust her. And B. because … well she suddenly felt like she was taking advantage of their kindness. But then again, what was she supposed to do. She'd go home if she knew where that was…

"Yeah you are. You have a job?" Haley shook her head. She never thought herself to be the shy kind, but certainly now felt like it. "Where are you from?" Millie interjected. Millie opposed to Lauren had long black hair and big eyes. "hmm. I.. the.." Haley stammered. She didn't know she couldn't even come up with a good lie.

"Hey!" Nathan's voice resounded harshly as the eyes of all three women were on her. "Leave her alone. Stop bombarding her with questions."

As three of them walked off to either their guy of a chair that was set out around the adjoining table, Nathan walked up to Haley would looked a bit shaken. As approached her could see how close on the verge of tears she really was. 'Hey.. you okay?" he asked worriedly. Haley shook her head before resting it in her hands. Nathan pulled her into his arms and hugged her. He felt bad for her.

He felt Haley lean her head against his chest and the tears wet his shirt.

Haley didn't want to be crying in Nathan's arms. She could feeling the eyes of his friend upon her glaring at her, making her out to be a leach. A pretty girl charming her way into his fortune.

So she pulled away and dried her tears. "Sorry. I'm got to get used to this sometime." she said drying her tears looking at her feet in shame. Nathan pulled her face, between his hands, up . with his thumbs he removed the smears of mascara from her cheeks and dried the remaining tears. "It's okay Hales. Baby steps. It's not easy, it's not supposed to be. I imagine it's scary a hell what you're going through, but my friends are the last people I want you to feel uncomfortable with. You know you have a home with me and Brooke. A save zone.. So If you wanna leave I'm okay with that, but they're not bad people so maybe you should give it a shot. I know you can strong and stubborn if want to be." Haley smiled at his little speech. He'd pinpointed almost every unwanted feeling the questions had unleashed and reassured her. She smiled a little wider and then hugged him, jumping him around his neck. "thank you." She told him honestly. "I think I'll stay." He grinned and hugged her back. "Good girl." He patted her head. Rolling her eyes at the indignant comment the slapped his patting hand away and walked over to where most of the girls were sitting and chatting pretending to not have been watching the entire thing go down.

"Sorry,.." Haley started. 'about.. me about my reaction." She sat down and looked over her shoulder to see Nathan start playing ball with the guys again, but keeping an subtle eye on her, giving her a warm fluttering feeling inside. A feeling she couldn't quite pinpoint.

"I know what you're thinking and it's not what it seems. I.. don't remember." She uttered. But as she spoke the words she realized she wasn't making any sense. "what I mean to say is. I've suffered brain injury, most probably about two weeks ago and since then I've memory loss. Full memory loss.

Nathan and Brooke pulled me from the water and have been taking care of me, because I have nowhere else to go. I just by the necklace around my neck that my name is Haley and by the wedding band around my finger that I was married, or am married and that my husband's name is Derek, but other than that I don't know a thing. It's all haunches and feelings that make up what I think I know. And then still it isn't much." She told them everything, because if Nathan trusted these people than she would to and it couldn't hurt to have more people to trust in this town.

"So you are living with Brooke and Nathan because they saved your live by pulling you out of the water?" Haley nodded. "yes, that and the fact I wouldn't know where else to go."

The girls looked once again a little more understanding. "Have you been to the police I'm sure they can help." Haley nodded again.

"Yes, Nathan insisted we'd go to the police. But they couldn't find me in the missing person database. They kinda gave up after that. They didn't really seem to care." Haley shrugged. "I hope to one day figure out where I'm from, but for now I don't know what else to do."

"Brooke suggested a front page article in a national paper, but I told her that was probably not such a good Idea." The three women frowned. "Why would that be a bad idea? Afraid your family will see what you're doing and come and get you?" Millie shot at her.

Haley had very well understood Millie's intentions with the comment. "No, more like there will probably be hundreds of people ready to take advantage of a girl who doesn't remember where she's from." She saw Millie still look cautiously. "I get that it's hard to trust someone who you can't check. But I just wanna remember and go home. Because having nothing or no one that trusts you is much worse than not having any money or whatever you think I might be after."

Haley got up and poured herself a drink. She hoped they'd warm up to her soon because so far she wasn't really having a good time. Nathan wrapped his arm around her in that moment and the unfamiliar fluttering was back. "I'm proud of you for telling the them truth. I told the guys I hope you don't mind. Figured they'd find out from the girl and each other eventually, so I'd better make sure it was the right version they knew." Haley nodded, but was unable to form any kind of sensible word, as she felt his warm hand still touch her tummy. The racing of her heart and the fuzzy feeling were unknown to her as to what they meant. All she knew was that it felt good. So she smiled up and said; thank you." Before leaning up and kissing his cheek.

Later that day most of Nathan's friends had put aside their suspicion about Haley and just tried to have a good time. The Music was still Playing and By now they'd dug into the food that was actually really good. Haley was having a good time as Skills had continued to fill their glasses with the white wine. She found out she got along well with Lauren and Sarah as well as Jake. Lauren was a kinder garden teacher and that really spoke to Haley. Haley spluttered to stop Skills from filling her glass again as she laughed.

"Skills stop it, that's enough.." She put her hand over her glass as he was about to pour. "Oh Haley, don't be shy, girl." He said and pour the wine literally over her hand. "Skills!"

"Skills!" Lauren admonished. "Stop getting the poor girl drunk.." Hales Laughed bringing her glass to her lips again, taking a sip. She was having a good time. The sun was beginning to set over the hills as she noticed Nathan looking funny at her. As their eyes met she gave him a grin and he winked.

Nathan watched her talk actively and listen amused at his friends. About an hour ago his agent Clay joined them. He and Clay were good friends, but Clay had a way of pushing his buttons, maybe that's why they were good friends Clay kept him real, but today it was over Haley. And it annoyed him more than normally.

Haley was currently protesting against Skills who was trying to pour more wine into her glass. Her eyes were sparkling as was her smile. She had cute antics, he was certain she had siblings. She just had the same thing over her that Brooke had; a sparkle whenever she got attention. She had older siblings or at least one. Clay had commented throughout the day on several occasions, on Haley nice ass or the lasted comment her smile. He had made sure it was the last. The 4th the 5th comment he could handle but that one was the last. He had made Sure Clay knew. He wasn't sure why Clay's comment struck him so hard but he supposed it was because he was trying to protect her from the world. After all that was what she was most vulnerable to.

He stared at her as she continued to laugh at what was said, after the wine incident with Skills. Until Haley looked up in his direction, he'd been pretty covert about it, but now their eyes met and she grinned at him. She was obviously telling him she was having a great time. He winked back and turned then his attention back to mouth who was telling him all about the trade's for next season.

Haley spaced out on what skills was saying at some point and stared over the river. Nathan told her the night always ended with bang, so as the night proceeded she wondered what he'd been talking about. Whatever it was it would most likely top the night. She was having the best time. It had been strange at first, in a group of people she only knew Nathan. she had gotten used to having Brooke and Nathan around, so much she wasn't used to being alone. Either one of them was always there to back her. Being here with only Nathan and Nathan being on the other side of the court practically gave her a little more confidence.

Suddenly the fireworks exploded in the sky above the river. She loved it. It was so gorgeous! She smiled widely at the display. Grinning as she saw Nathan pat Clay shoulder to make his way over she felt herself get even more excited if possible. Her eyes were drawn over shortly from the fireworks to watch Nathan and a soon as she eyes found the fireworks, she heard groaning at yelling. Looking over she saw Nathan and Clay in a fight. The charming typical smile he held a moment ago was now and angry glare and pointed at Clay.

Haley frowned worriedly as Nathan slammed his fists into Clay jaw. "What the hell man!" Clay yelled. Jake and Skills quickly pulled Nathan away. Nathan being pulled back, tried to catch his breath as he point his finger in Clay direction. "I'm warning you Evans!"

Haley frowned at the entire display not understand what the hell just went down. Nathan pulled loose from Jake and Skills and walked away. Being afraid to be left behind Haley jogged after him. "Nathan? where are you going." She tried to keep up but he didn't response. 'Haley" Jake caught her arm. "Haley, let him go he needs to cool down. He'll be back."

She stood still and looked after him not understanding what happened, so she looked at Clay for answers. "What was that about?" she asked accusingly. Clay grinned. "You." That had her even more confused. She laughed at her as she frowned and the uncanny feeling made her turn away from Clay. She quietly walked after Nathan, while the sky continued to light up by the fireworks.

Eventually she found him about a mile further along the river. "Nate?" He looked up.

'Hey.." he said softly. 'what are you doing here.. it's not save to but wondering out by yourself especially in the dark." Haley rolled her eyes. "whatever big brother. I'm a big girl I can take care of myself." He sighed, not wanting to start another fight tonight. "you wanna tell me what that was about?" Nathan shook his head. "It's not important." He motioned for her to come and sit with him. They stared over the river at the fireworks. "You guys to this every year?"

Nathan nodded "Yeah.. except that we have Brooke here to spice things up, this years was pretty long key. Not drinking games and no drunken stripping. Haley giggled "you're a good big brother. To both me and Brooke, even though I'm not actually your sister." Nathan grimaced at the comment and she wasn't quite sure what that was about. But then again was there ever something she was sure about?

She turned her attention back to the river and the fireworks.. it was slowly stating to stop.. less and less lights and bangs. "Thank you for tonight. I had a great night. I'd like to make you a promise, if you'll have it." Nathan turned to look at her and nodded "Okay lets have it."

"One year from now, whatever may happen this next year, we'll celebrate the 4th of July together again. Right here. Okay?" Nathan looked at her smile face and nodded again. 'Deal' he wrapped an arms around her waist and she leaned her head on his shoulder. "This was a good night right?"

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><p><strong>So don't forget to review so that'll have something to look forward to once I return from the land with no internet connection!<strong>


	5. Distancing Yourself

**Sorry it's been so long. I've been a little blocked on how to move on and so It took a while.  
>so here it goes on.. Please R&amp;R! <strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 5. Distancing yourself<strong>

Haley was pretty sure she'd not be able to keep up living with Nathan much longer if Brooke didn't return soon. He was driving her crazy. For some reason he demanded to know about her whereabouts, 24/7. It was nerve wrecking. She was grown woman for crying out loud, one he had no say over anyway!

He seemed to be guarding the front door like a watchdog, barking at her that it was dangerous to go outside alone every time she attempted to leave the house. Like that was any of his business. It's not like she'd be missed if she actually got killed, for all she knew her family already assumed her to be dead.

Haley fixed her hair and grabbed her purse peeking down the stairs she saw Nathan walked into the kitchen and she jumped at the opportunity to get away unseen. Taking the back door and making a run for the bus stop a couple of hundred yards down the road, she got away.

It would take awhile for Nathan to figure out she was gone and by then it would take him even longer to find her. She'd seen an add outside the community centre the other day she hope to be able to apply. The sign had said. "After school tutor for all ages sought" Haley hoped since sin also said it was needed fast they would give her a go. After all she didn't have any recommendations, or even prove she finished High school let alone college.

Haley walked in head high smiling brightly. As she reported at the front desk. 'Hello, I'm Haley. I wanted to apply for the tutoring position." The receptionist nodded. "Okay. Here's a form please fill this out and get it back to me." She pointed at the table on the other side of the reception area. Haley accepted the form hesitantly. Filling out a form, meant writing down all sorts of personal information she didn't know. Walking to the table with the form she sat down and looked at the questions. Name, first and last. Date of birth, city of birth, level of education, job history. The motivation sunk as she read through the question. She considered filling out false information but instead she filled out the question honestly. Name: Haley (something) age; between 20 and 25. Place of birth; don't remember. A curious application form like that should get her at least an interview. Motivation: that's all she needed.

As she explained why she wanted the job and why she could do this, she slowly started to feel better. It couldn't hurt for her to accept Brooke's offer to make her a fake ID. After all it would give her the things she needed to live a life of her own. She realized that now.

She returned the form to the receptionist and smiled apologetic. "Sorry." Alone her contact information and her name and motivation were filled in properly."

The receptionist looked at her agape. "Are you serious?" Haley nodded again looking nothing but dead serious. "I'm suffering from memory loss." She shrugged apologetic again and then turned around and left.

Half an hour later she turned into the café for a cup of coffee. Pulling out her notebook, which had become almost her only personal belonging, she sat down.

"I used to be someone, now I am no one. No place to go, no place to stay. No one I know, all unfamiliar. All unfamiliar to me.

I wanna be someone. But I don't know who to be. Am I more of a Jackie, or more of a Marilyn.

Do I wear a halo, or does the devil live (with)in me.  
>I don't know who I am, and have no clue of where I'm from.<p>

But I'll know who I wanna be, and where I wanna go.

I used to be someone. Then I was no one. Now I'll be someone. And it's will be someone great.

I got a second chance at life, not knowing what the first was like. All I know is that I'll take my chance and make it great.

I used to be someone. Then I was no one. Now I'll be someone and it will be someone great."

Taking the last sip of her coffee, Haley closed the little notepad and got up. Putting it away in her purse she stood up and left the café.

Whether or not she got the job, she was determined to make something of her second chance. Obviously she'd been through something that had almost cost her her life, but it hadn't and so now she owed it to herself to make the best of her life.

"Finally there you are!" Nathan suddenly appeared out of thin air and grabbed her wrist. "Whah! Nathan!" She screamed, having been scared to death by with sudden deathgrip on her wrist.

"What the hell!" she yelled trying to free her arm. "What do you mean what the hell? Where the hell have you been. I told you it's stupid to go outside alone!"

Haley rolled her eyes. "Well, I'm still alive! Did you ever think that just maybe I'd like to be alone sometimes. I'm a big girl Nathan no need for you to follow me around.

She pulled her arm free from his grip and walked away. "Haley! Wait!" Nathan followed after her. 'Haley, I'm sorry okay! I'm just looking out for you." Haley rolled her eyes as he came to walk beside her. 'Nathan there's barely a harmful soul in this town. It's not freaking Atlantic City you know!"

Nathan frowned. That was a rather particular city to name. anyone who would name a city that was rather dangerous to be, in general, would say New York of LA or something maybe even Chicago, but Atlantic city seemed rather particular.

"Atlantic city." He murmured. Haley looked up at him enraged. "Yes! Or New York or whatever! It's freaking Tree Hill Nathan!"

"Atlantic City." He said again. Frustrated Haley sighed and rolled her eyes. "Yes that what I said. Now can you please focus on this discussion or just go home!" But Nathan seemed all but to be listening.

Haley sighed and again and the just walked away, moron.

When she arrived back at the house she jumped at by a very thrilled Brooke. "Haley! I missed you!" Haley hugged Brooke back and smiled. "Oh Brookie! I'm so glad you're back! Nathan is driving me nuts! He keeps watching my like a watch dog. It's so exhausting!"

"Luckily now I'm back, so!" Brooke clapped in her hands like a excited teenager. (she kinda still was one)

We should have a girls night.. then I can tell you all about my getaway with Lucas, it was SO hot!" She pulled Haley along to the living room and pulled the cushions from the couch to sit on the floor.  
>Having collected the required items for girls night, Brooke launched into her endless story about her romantic getaway with Lucas, who was apparently heavenly.<p>

Haley zoned most of Brooke petty teenager chatter out, until Nathan barged in. "Haley! I know it!" she frowned, forgotten she was upset with him at first, she looked up at him curiously. "You know what?" Nathan frowned.

"Atlantic City!" Haley rolled her eyes. "What about it?" Nathan sighed. "you said AtlanticCity? That's pretty random not? Would you not have picked a place more commonly known to be violent."

Haley looked up at Nathan not sure what he was getting at. "So?" Nathan sighed in frustration. For someone who claimed to be smart she was unbelievably slow understanding.

"So you're probably from Atlantic City or at least within New Jersey!" Haley frowned at that. An uncanny feeling crept up on her and she wasn't quite sure what had caused it. The idea that she was from atlantic City or at least near should have excited her. It was after all a step closer to going home. Finding home. But instead it made her sad and something told her that had nothing to do with Atlantic city. Brooke had stopped her spray of Florida stories the moment Nathan had walked in and had listened to Nathan just as confused as Haley, but now Brooke was practically jumping up and down. "Haley! That's so great! Now it'll be so much easier to find your way home!" Haley merely nodded.

Home. She picked up her purse from the couch and left the room without a word, going upstairs to her bedroom.

Home. Tree Hill was home. It was the only home she knew. Of course she too understood that going home meant finding back her husband and possibly triggering her memory but…

Didn't Nathan seem excited about getting her home? That shouldn't surprise her, he didn't want her to stay from the beginning. Brooke wanted her to stay, but she too seemed very excited. Talk about feeling welcome. Obviously they felt like she didn't belong with them.

She'd been so naïve to think she could just pick up her life here and that over time Nathan would let her stay. That tree hill would become her new home and most of all that Nathan and Brooke and their friends and family would become her new family.

She softly shut her eyes forcing the tears to stay, keeping them from falling. Was she really that unwelcome?

A little over a week later Haley came downstairs one morning with a plastic bag in her hand filled with all of her belongings and her purse in the other hand.

"Where are you going?" Brooke asked as she saw Haley standing at the bottom of the staircase. "I'm going away. Atlantic city probably. I'm very grateful you let me stay for so long but, I've out stayed my welcome and it's time for me to go."

"What! No!" Brooke cried out. "You can't leave! Where will you go? Where will you sleep? How are you gonna make money if you don't even had a social security number! Haley!" Haley sighed shook her head and walked to the door. "I'm sorry, but I can't stay and live of you and Nathan."

"Nathan!" Brooke screamed. "Brooke calm down, I'm just gonna go okay?" She opened the door took a deep breath and stepped outside.

Meanwhile Nathan stood in the kitchen doorway, watching the whole thing go down, out of sight. It was better that she went. Lately things had been getting weird and they couldn't keep her here. She wasn't theirs to keep. She was a wife. Out there was a very sad man mourning the loss of his wife, and who wouldn't with a wife like Haley. He heard the front door shut and he released the breath he hadn't realized he was holding. "Nathan! Why didn't you stop her." A crying Brooke was standing in front of him. Making smudges over her face tears escalading down her cheeks. "Nathan! Why didn't you stop her!"

He sighed and pulled Brooke into a hug. "It was better that he went. She has a family out there waiting for her."

Brooke looked up from his chest where her head was buried previously. "She could have been our family." She cried. "I wanted that, so badly."

Nathan sighed and thought; 'I wanted that too badly." She wasn't theirs to keep.

Derek sat in his back yard admiring the garden with a glass of lemonade. Peyton had redone it, in Haley's memory. Haley loved gardening and since she'd been gone it had withered.

Peyton had been a great support in mourning Haley. Some days he still hoped he'd find her. That something had gone really wrong had she washed up somewhere along the bay and that she'd had trouble getting home. But the longer it took for her to come home, the less he could hold on to that believe. It had been on Tv in both New Jersey and Delaware; the accident. She would have been found and brought home by now. He missed her…

As he heard the phone ring he slowly got up to answer it. He walked inside looking back at Peyton smiling. She'd been so incredible to him. "Derek Summers." Damn Peyton looked good today. He never really noticed. He supposed that was because he always had Haley on his mind. "Derek? Are you Derek?" Derek dropped the glass he still held in his hand. "Haley?"

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><p><strong>So? I know unexpected! How did that happen? <strong>


	6. Cutting Lines

**Hi hi! So I thought I'd update.. don't remember what the last time was but I believe it wasn't THAT long ago.  
>Anyway new update.<br>So here we go!  
>R&amp;R! <strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 6. Cutting Lines<strong>

Her breath caught in her throat and she hung up the phone. She had no idea what happened, but as she got to the pay phone to call Nathan and Brooke she dialed out of nowhere this number as she thought she was dialing their as it was the only one she knew. She had changed her mind about leaving, realizing she had no money and no way to go anywhere. Expecting to hear Brooke's voice or Nathan's the phone was answered. At first the male voice, she thought was Nathan's confused her because of what he was saying. But as she heard what he was saying she realized she was talking to her husband. She then panicked and hung up, unable to remember the number she dialed.

Right now, Haley was pacing in front of the pay phone. Not sure what to do she went to sit down on the bench, leaning down she steadied her head in her hands. Out of now where she had dialed her home number and she'd spoken to her husband. It suddenly made having an actually life so much more real. She had gotten used to not knowing who she was and having no family. Now it was becoming reality to her that there was a family out there, that belonged to her.

So close just on the other side of that line. If only she hadn't hung up. If she would have answered… then she could be on her way home right now. Then she would know where she was from and she could have her old life back!

But she did hang up. And she, for the life of her, couldn't remember the number she dialed!

She got up and looked at the pay phone hoping there was a redialed button or something! But since she was dealing with a public pay phone, luck wasn't on her side. She sat back down desperately wondering what on earth she could do next.

She was back where she was half an hour ago, broke, alone, and at the point to call Brooke to ask her to come and get her because she'd been a fool to believe she could actually go somewhere else.

Looking at the pay phone again she eventually made up her mind and decided to let it go. She picked up the phone once more and dialed Brooke cell phone number.

"Brooke, come on Brooke get up! It's been two days! You can't stay in there forever." Nathan sighed as he got no reply from Brooke. His baby sister had been crying and shutting herself away ever since he let Haley leave.

He told himself that Haley had to go.. that letting her go was the best thing to do. Brooke was just sad her friend was gone. She would get over it. But he knew it was more. Brooke was mad at him because she felt like he made her leave. He had driven her away with his obsessive worrying and trying to figure out where she came from had made her feel unwelcome!

Nathan sat down next to the door. "Brookie.." He called. "Haley's not coming back… she'll be fine though. She tough."

"But she shouldn't have to be!" Brooke hissed as she opened the door and stormed out. She had us! She could have stayed. You just wanted her gone sooooo badly!" Brooke marched down the hall with her suitcase.

She was still incredibly upset with her brother for being such a enormous insensitive jackass.

"What is the suitcase for?" Nathan yelled after her, as she picked it up and walked it down stairs. "I'm staying with mom and dad for the rest of the summer because Dad maybe an insensitive jackass just like you, but at least he doesn't try and hide it. It thought you weren't like him!"

Brooke put the suitcase down at the bottom of the stairs and pulled it over to the door. "I'll be back later this week to get the rest of my belongings! "Goodbye."

As she grabbed at hold of the doorknob, her phone rang and Brooke halted. She sighed frustrated, wanted to get out of Nathan place. She had more than enough and she needed to get away from him. Planning on hanging up whoever it was that called, she answered with: "I don't have time right now."

"Brooke?"

Nathan watched Brooke's expression shift from extremely frustrated to extremely happy.

"Haley?"

Nathan's ears peaked in interest. He wondered why Haley was calling. Would she wanna come back? Or maybe she found her husband…

"That great..Yes! Oh of course! Yes.. okay bye!" the moment Brooke hung up the phone her smile dropped and her chagrin reappeared. "I'm going now." With those words Brooke walked out the door.

Brooke had confirmed his suspicion. Haley had indeed found her husband and was now happy where she belonged. He shuffled into the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge. He didn't quite understand why it seemed to bother him with much. Yes Brooke had left, but she'd always been a pain in the ass. It wasn't just Brooke leaving. Was it?

He had been very preoccupied with figuring out where Haley came from. But they had all been. He couldn't imagine how frightening it must be to not know where you're from and to have no place where you know people, no place to go back to.

He'd felt that way in Charlotte when he just started for the Bobcats, but he always knew he had Tree Hill and his parents to go home to.

Shaking off the feel he took the last sip of his beer and tossed the can. Then he left the kitchen grabbing his basketball and his car keys he left the beach house. He needed a place to think, the rivercourt was exactly the right place to do that.

He pulled up to the rivercourt fifteen minutes later. As he got out of the car she saw Jake and Skills both playing a game one on one. "Hey, Guys." Nathan called out to them.

"Hey Nate!" Jake shot the ball passed Skills into the hoop and then ran up to Nathan. "How's it going man? Long time no see? How are you and Haley?"

Nathan fist bumped Jake and frowned. "Me and Haley?"

"There's no Me and Haley. I was just watching her for Brooke while she was away with the punk of a boyfriend of her. But she's gone now anyway so.."

Jake looked at Nathan in amusement, one eyebrow raised and half a grin on his face. 'What?"

"Man, you jumped out of your skin when Clay said one thing about her ass. I'm not trying to cause trouble or anything, but man you've got a thing her that girl. So are you gonna tell me?"

Nathan sighed. He really didn't want to talk about it with Jake or Skills for that matter. He was still processing Brooke leaving and the feelings he couldn't place.

"She left. She thought it was time to leave. About two days ago. Today she called Brooke. I think she found her husband as Brooke seemed enthusiastic on the phone but very unhappy as she'd hung up."

Jake nodded: 'and how do you feel about that?" Nathan shrugged. 'Brooke left, because she's mad. She thinks it's my fault Haley left."

"Where did she go?" Jake sat down on the lowest bench of the bleachers. "Mom and Dad's. She says that dad may be an ass, but at least he's honest about it. I don't know what to do anymore. But I guess when I go back to Charlotte and Brooke back to Duke, everything will return to normal. I'll pick up where I left off." Jake patted him on the back. "All will be right, big guy.. Now let's play some ball!"

"Hey, Who was that on the phone?" Peyton walked up behind Derek. It had been twenty minutes since she saw him go inside. "Derek? Who was that one the Phone?" she repeated when he didn't answer. "I think that was Haley.." he said baffled.

"Huh? What?" She laughed stunned and nervous.. "Derek.. Haley's dead."

"I'm sure it was her. She called my name and then asked if it was really me. It was her voice Peyton!"

Peyton laughed and shook her head. "Derek. Are you okay? I know you want her to be okay, but she's gone. She's couldn't have been on the phone. You're hearing things."

Derek shook his head. No. I know her voice anywhere. That was her she's trying to contact me. To let me know she's still out there alive!" Peyton grabbed Derek's face with two hands, forcing him to look at her. "Derek. Haley is Dead. She's not coming Back! You have to accept that. You're imagining things!" Derek stared at Peyton. Looking at her intensely. "You're right. She's gone.." he leaned forward and slammed his lips down on Peyton's reaching his hands up to her face.

Peyton was momentarily shocked as she felt his lips, but soon parted them and let her tongue seek his. She pulled his head even closer and let his hair run through her fingers shortly. Suddenly Peyton pulled back and walked away.

Berating herself on how on earth she let that happen she walked into the garden. Feeling scared and guilty she ran her hands through her hair. John wouldn't let this pass. He was already upset that she just left and that she hadn't returned since the 4th. On top of that she's been headstrong about postponing the wedding till next year. If he knew that she did this he wouldn't wanna marry her at all.

As Nathan walked into his house that night he collapsed on his bed. Frustrated and confused he started to undress for bed. Her knew he should be happy Haley got home safely, but she… somewhere inside of him it left like she belonged here. Like tree Hill was her home.

He got into bed and underneath the sheets. Hoping to wake up and find that the world had changed back to the way it was before. Like the whole Haley happening was a dream. Right now he just wanted his baby sister back. He closed his eyes and let sleep come to him.

Nathan stepped out of his car and slapped the car door closed behind him. As he crossed the street he hiked the sports bag over his shoulder and approached the tall building. Time Warner Cable Arena. He hadn't spoken to his little sister in almost three weeks and because he was now officially going mad sitting at home waiting for her to come to her senses, he was back in Charlotte early.

It was the end of August, soon he'd have to return anyway, so he'd returned to his city apartment two days ago. Nathan made his way to the locker rooms. There, he threw his bag against his locker and it opened. It had always been that way.

"I don't think it's suppose to open that easily man, maybe you should start locking it."

Nathan looked up and noticed a guy sit on the other side of the locker room in front of a already opened locker. "It's a special technique the damn thing's jammed. Who are you anyway?"

The guy looked up from tying his shoes. "Kyle Edwards" Hmm.

Nathan started changing, the guys face he didn't like. Eventually he tied his shoes and walked out of the locker room. The guy still sat there. At the door the guy said: "You know, they never tell you the guys you look up to turn out to be jerks." Nathan groaned. "What's that suppose to mean?"

The guy got up and walked over. "You know I wanted to join the Bobcats because of You. I play ball because of you. And you turn out to be a jerk. One with nice talk in front of camera's." Nathan rolled his eyes.

He had really had enough of people attacking his character. "You know I don't come here two weeks early, for no reason. I came here, to be alone and concentrate on the new season, not to hear punks like you complain about getting your feelings hurt." Nathan turned around and walked out of the locker room into the gym.

Nathan picked up a ball and bounced it down the court and slammed it into the basket. Training always made the rest of his problems disappear. He allowed only basketball to be on his mind.

Now that the kid had called him a jerk – A jerk really? Wasn't that the most girly word you can use? – He couldn't get it out of his mind. He hated fighting with Brooke. It always ate away at his conscious.

Brooke had this face she'd make, looking so incredibly wronged. It made you immediately feel bad even when you weren't wrong.

He slammed the ball into the basket again. The more he thought about it the more he realized he didn't feel bad because of Brooke. He only felt frustration towards Brooke, maybe even anger. She was being unreasonable. He hadn't driven Haley away she left. He helped her move on with her life. Maybe even find her husband – He didn't actually know how much influence he'd had in that.

He dribbled the ball down the court again and as he brought it up before his nose and made a perfect lay up a hand slammed the ball out of its path and to the other side of the court.

Nathan looked up to see who was interrupting him. "Scott." His coach was standing underneath the basket. "you did a great job upsetting the new kid." He said as crossed his arms. Nathan could only roll his eyes at that.. "Oh I'm sorry.. did I make him cry?" He asked sarcastically as he turned away to get the ball. "Almost.." Coach amended. "But.. you're usually kind to the new ones, especially the ones that look up to you. Plus you're here early. You couldn't wait for the season to be over so you could go home and spend the summer with you sister." The coach had dropped his arms and walked after Nathan as he spoke to him.

"What happened? Obviously something is wrong." Nathan picked up the ball and bounced it casually.

'Nothing.. I just had a bit of a strange summer and now my sister isn't talking to me anymore."

As Nathan sat next to his coach on the benches he rolled the ball in his hands as he began to tell about what happened. He really needed some fresh perspective on the whole case.

"I guess, Brooke was just pissed that Haley left and now I'm the bad guy. It's not like I was trying to make her leave. I was only trying to help after Brooke whined endlessly to let her stay."

His coach shook his head and laughed. "You sure have changed since last season." Nathan frowned.

He usually wasn't really the sharing type when it wasn't with his best friends. Not even with Brooke. Just Jake and Skills he'd tell things and then mostly Jake. Skills had to have a good day to come up with some useful advice.

"No I haven't. Have I?" His coach laughed. "Yes, Scott. The last time I saw you all you could talk about was that hot chick the banged the night before. Now you talk about that girl with respect of her marriage even though she doesn't remember her life, much less her husband. And now you've made her feel unwelcome you feel guilty." His coach spoke almost as if he was proud of him.

"I don't feel guilty for driving her away. I did no such thing!"

"You said yourself that you felt guilty." Nathan objected. 'I said that about Brooke. I felt guilty towards her! Not Haley I don't owe Haley anything."

".. You don't? Then why do you feel guilty?" Bursting out in frustration Nathan flew up out of his seat. "I DO NOT FEEL GUILTY!" He groaned. "I have no reason to. I didn't ask her to leave. I've done nothing but helping her and then she left. Out of her own free will! Heck if it were up to me she would have been welcome to stay!"

Coach got up and walked over in his naturally calm manor. Nathan had his hands in his pockets and his head down. "Nate, you have feelings for this girls?"

He head flew up. "What?" He chuckled and shook his head. "Don't be ridiculous. You said it yourself; I don't do relationships and fuck groupies at parties."

"I also said you'd changed. That is exactly what I meant with that."  
>Eventually this was what he'd been avoiding to admit, deep down he knew that, but what could he do. Admitting it would only make it more real and it didn't need to be real. It just needed to be gone, just like Haley was. It wasn't relevant because it would only cause him harm and Haley had a husband.<p>

"Maybe you should try to talk to your sister, maybe you can find Haley. She might be more open to your feelings that you let yourself believe." His coach patted him on the shoulder and walked towards the locker room.

Nathan thought about it. Brooke would probably know where Haley was. Haley called Brooke to let her know she was home. So Haley would have kept contact with Brooke, Brooke would have insisted.

"Oh and Scott? Apologize to Edwards!" Nathan groaned and rolled his eyes. Fuck off! 'Forget it!"

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><p><strong>So what did you think? Does anyone have improvement point... Thing you missed. Conversations? relationships? (both friendly and romantically) background information you think is relevant for the story?<strong>  
><strong>Let me know!<strong>

**Love Philine **


	7. You Talk? You Walk!

Okay I thought I'd give you guys a quickly little update, I hate to keep you waiting, but I'm always so busy It's hard to keep it up, so here is chapter 7.

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><p><strong>Chapter 7. You talk? You walk!<strong>

Defeated Nathan stood on his parents door step. Brooke would be returning to Duke next week and so he had to do it now or he'd have to travel to Duke to find her. If he was honest he really didn't like going back to Duke. He was considered some kind of Hero there and so he'd have to pass a lot of BS before talking to his baby sister.

He raised his hand and sighed deeply before eventually knocked on the door. He had mentally prepared for this day. Basically it he would be admitting is feelings for a girl to Brooke. That was not something he usually did. Or ever had to do before.

"Nathan?" His mother was standing in the door way. "What a nice surprise your father said you already left for Charlotte already."

Nathan shifted his weight between his legs and he muttered a few confirmative words. "Then why are you here?" His mother questioned.

"I uhmm, I need to talk to Brooke. We had a fight and I have to, I must talk to Brooke." Deb frowned. "That's sounds serious. I know you two had a fight, but is it really that bad. Brooke never seemed to be that mad. I mean she's been pretty preoccupied." Nathan really wasn't surprised. Brooke was great at holding grudges and she was even better at shrugging things off and focus on other things.

"I still need to talk to her." Nathan said passing his mother and walking into his childhood home. The place hadn't changed much over the years. It had been painted over the years, but those really were minor changes. Remembered sliding down the banister when he was actually too old for that just to play with Brooke. He also once fell down because he lost his balance; Brooke laughed so hard at him for that.

Those were good times. He heard Brooke's giggles in the living room and thanked god for at least catching her in a good mood. He stepped into the room and his eyes went wide as he saw not just Brooke but Haley too sit on that couch.

Brooke stopped talking as she saw her brother enter the room. He looked kind of surprised. He also didn't talk. "uhm.. Nate?" Brooke spoke. Nathan blinked and focused on Brooke. "Uhm Hi, I came to talk to you, but I don't think that necessary anymore." Nathan took a step back. He couldn't talk to Haley right now. He didn't know how to. It looked kinda stupid to talk to Haley about this with his mom and Brooke there. Sure he was gonna tell Brooke, but only because he had no other choice.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" Brooke asked.

"Uhm.. I wanted to apologize for what happened. You know I hate it when you're mad at me."

Brooke nodded. Nathan then realized he had yet to acknowledge Haley. "Hey, Hales. What are you doing here?" He was doubtful about his relationship to Haley. If Haley felt the same way as Brooke about leaving than she was probably just as upset. (Minus the Brooke drama)

"Hey, Uhm.. Brooke didn't tell you? I.. I got nowhere. It 's kind of pathetic, but I realized that you guys were the only place I had. So I called Brooke to come and get me. Sorry."

Nathan shook his head. Inside he was delighted that Haley had returned. He had been upset with the idea she'd be with the guy that was her husband. Even though he was her husband. "No, no need to the sorry. I'm just sorry I made you feel unwelcome. Why didn't you guys come back to the beachhouse?"

Brooke laughed and got up from the couch. 'why do you think silly? You were being a enormous Jerk, I wasn't gonna give you that pleasure." She patted his shoulder and leaned up to kiss his cheek.

"but now you're here we need to discuss Haley's stay at the beach house since I'm going back to Duke tomorrow. Obviously she can't stay here and the job she applied for at the community Centre Backfired so we'll have to discuss some sort of allowance. Or pay for house sitting you could call it?"

Nathan shook his head. He pashed Brooke back to sit down on the couch. "what's all this. My house and I'm have to give her money?"

This was going too fast. He came here so he could find Haley. Haley he found, but now he was supposed to be her keeper or something rather than.. the guy who liked her?

"Yes! Dad doesn't like her, so she can't stay after I leave and you're going back to Charlotte, so no one uses it anyway! Come on Nathan! I promised to look after her!"

Nathan sighed. What was he supposed to do with this. Obviously Brooke was gonna whine until he tell Haley stay in his house. But what did he actually have to lose. He trusted Haley, heck, he had been on his way to admit his feeling for Haley. How could he not trust her.  
>About that by the way, he still had to tell her. Haley, now. Telling Brooke was luckily a disaster that could be avoided. "I have a better idea." This idea just came to him. He liked Haley having her in Tree Hill while he was in Charlotte was doomed. He'd never ever be able to concentrate.<p>

"We're not leaving Haley alone in Tree Hill. If you're alright with it.., you're coming with me to Charlotte."

Haley believed she'd never been the type to make overly idiotic display's of enthusiasm or horror, so she contained herself but deep down she was thrilled. Super thrilled. For an unidentified reason. She'd expected herself to be at least a little bit demoralized to move on with her life, but quite the opposite was true. She believed somehow that she would find her whether that was with or without her husband. She smiled up at Nathan. "I'd like that.."

Brooke had been about to object for ordering Haley to come to charlotte with Nathan, when Haley had agreed. She'd been flabbergasted. Naturally she been about to propose that when Nathan wouldn't let Haley stay in Tree Hill, he'd let her go with her to Duke.

"Okay, then that's settled. I'm leaving in three days so, be ready by then." Nathan mumbled and then looked up at the girl and turned around and left.

Normally he wasn't the shy type, but the fact that Haley had so willingly agreed made him nervous. Like a teenage girl getting her first kiss.

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><p>Brooke got in her car, after Haley hugged her tightly and had promised her she'd call every day with updates, and vice versa. Waving her goodbye Haley sighed, now she was alone with Nathan. No just until they were leaving for Charlotte, but until Christmas at least. Part her to be honest was kind of excited for that, while the other half for her was completely terrified, for a to be further identified reason.<p>

The idea of a big city like Charlotte was crazy! Bt what to do out there while Nathan played and was away kind of frightened her. These days everything seemed to be about fear and doubts. Nothing was ever sure. She wanted something to be sure for once since she opened her eyes on the beach.

"Nathan." Haley opened her mouth as they both still watched in the direction that Brooke had taken off. "…Can you promise me to never abandon me?" Nathan frowned.

Obviously Nathan hadn't seen the question coming and it seemed to make him a little nervous. 'What do you me?" he stuttered. Haley smiled softly as he really seemed taken aback by the question.

"..I'm scared sometimes that one day I'm gonna wake up alone, that I am without any hold on the world. I'm scared to be alone." Nathan smiled and pulled her into a hug. A warm reassuring bear hug. "I won't Hales. I get that it scares you and I promised Brooke I'd take care of you so I will." Haley looked up from where her head was buried in his chest and smiled. "thank you." She mouthed.

Caught up in the moment of staring at her beautiful eyes and plump lips moving, he duck his head down and captured her lips in a soft sweet kiss. He himself was surprised he even did that, but he couldn't stop himself once he'd seen the look in her eyes.

Naturally, if anyone was surprised it would be Haley, but she complied to the kiss, slowly starting to move her lips in sync with his. The feel of her soft lips over his own, dared Nathan to dart his tongue out into hers, where it was greeted friendly with Haley's.

Haley, though completely overwhelmed by surprise, was paralyzed by a sense of calmness that Nathan's rough lips, but reassuring kiss gave her. Without any warning he'd pounced. Never in her life had she expected Nathan, of all people to feel this way about her. Because he had feelings for her right? Why else would he have kissed her. She could just feel it in his kiss that he wanted her. And vice versa, she had to admit.

Haley moaned as Nathan's tongue swept through her mouth and she clung tighter to his body. This little shift shook Nathan from his trans and pulled away from Haley. "Hales…" he breathed heavily.

Haley looked at him expectantly to tell her he wanted her that he cared that.. But Nathan didn't say anything. Instead he sighed turned around and walked to his car saying. '.. uhm I'll see you at home."

Haley was left behind with tears in her eyes. How was it possible for him to initiate a kiss so great and not feel the same way?

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><p>Let me know what you thought! Ideas are always welcome!<p> 


	8. Travel light, with Heavy hearts

**Hey! I know it's been soooo long and you've all probably given up on reading this, but please read i'll update better, for those of you who do now remember what happened:**

_**Previously on Losing my mind for you**_

**_Haley left because she felt unwelcome by nathan enthusiasm about where she might be from. She called a random number and talked to Derek on the phone but she hung in panic, not remembering the number.  
>She returned, but didn't tell anyone about the phone call. Brooke and Nathan made up as Haley was back in Tree Hill and decided she would come to Charlotte with Nathan as Brooke returned to Duke.<br>After waving Brooke off to college , Nathan and Haley kissed, but as they broke their kiss, nathan just walked away. _**

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><p><strong>Chapter 8. Travel light, with Heavy hearts<strong>

Awkward. Was the only word Haley could find to describe a situation like the one she was in. Nathan had kept his word and was currently driving the both of them to Charlotte. Haley stared out the window afraid of looking at Nathan. Nathan was staring straight ahead, concentrating on the road.

Only words of civility since that day.

"Where here.." Nathan announced. Haley casted her look to the shiny building. It was tall and pretty, it looked expensive, but that was expectable in Nathan's line of work.

Nathan sighed and got out of the car that tension was weighting on him so hard he could barely breathe whenever Haley was in the same room as him.

Haley sat still in the car while Nathan collected all bags from the car and went upstairs. She was scared. She didn't know where to go, other than Nathan she had to place to go.

That kind of was the problem, she had no place to go. She didn't know who she was so she could start over. She'd be depended on charity for the rest of her life. Without an ID, a passport or drivers License, she'd be unable to get a job, or a bank account, or a house.

So even though, She and Nathan were at odds with each other at the moment, she could leave before in the end he was the only one who would put her up. He was doing exactly what he was so afraid of when she first washed up. Supporting her. He put her up, paid for her expenses, while she did nothing all day.

Well, that wasn't quite true, she did do something. She searched the internet all day looking for clues on who she was. News messages, obituaries, but she hadn't found much. Nothing of any relevance.

She got out of the car and made a start for the building. She was curious to see what kind of place Nathan had here. He didn't really spend much time here, he'd either be on the road or in Tree Hill.

As she entered the apartment she looked through the room. It was clean, black and white, little futuristic. Black leather couch, big plasma TV.

Nathan was nowhere in sight, so she sat quietly down on the leather couch waiting for Nathan to show his face. Of course he was avoiding her, but he had to come out and talk to her at some point. She was supposed to be living here. And even thought they weren't really talking, he did promise to take care of her, so he should at least show her around the apartment and possibly around the city.

Nathan suddenly emerged from the hallway in the back and noticed Haley sitting timidly on his couch.

"Hales?" Haley looked up and their eyes met briefly, during which they both felt sparks. Nathan diverted his eyes to the window behind her. "Come, I'll show you your bedroom."

He turned around and walked back into hallway again. Haley quickly got to her feet and followed him into the hall.

As she entered the room he had proceeded into, she marveled. The room was beautifully decorated. It wasn't over the top, homey. Unlike the rest of the apartment. "Brooke did it on her way to college she detoured to decorate your room. I unpacked your clothes, here is your own creditcard. This way you can get around town, to the grocery shopping, I'm not exactly around much during the season so your should be able to take care of yourself." He said handing her a creditcard. "Brooke also made you a fake ID and a drivers license. Since we already know you can drive." They tested that a couple weeks ago. " She used our last name, I hope you don't mind. Try not to get into trouble with the cops, other than that it should get you what you need. Besides jobs than, that might not go well with a fake ID."

Not saying anything else Nathan left the room.

He had trouble knowing how to act around Haley. He didn't want to admit his feelings, not sure what to make of them. He hated the fact that he didn't know her. That she would never really be his because she had a husband somewhere. He was afraid the guy would find her and take her away. He figured that never really having her, might be better than have just enough of her and having it get taken away.

Haley watched him leave. Her heart beating out of her chest, as she held her new life in her hands. He had kissed her. He kissed her. Not the other way around. And now he just would talk about it. In two days training started and in a month he would leave to go on the road. She wasn't gonna let him leave for three months without telling her what that kiss was about.

Putting away the creditcard and the drivers license, she followed his out of the room, just in time to see hm turn into what she presumed was his bedroom. She stormed in after him.

"Nathan!" She yelled. He looked up surprised. "What the hell Haley, you scared the crap out of me. What's wrong?" Haley threw her hands up in frustration. "Are you serious?" She continued into the room until she was standing right in front of him. "You kissed me! YOU kissed me. And then you just walked away!"

Nathan ran his hands through his hair. "I'm sorry Haley, I shouldn't have done that. So Let's just not talk about it and forget it ever happened." He brushed passed her out of the room.

He had a hard time being in the same room, wanting the flee the room whenever she entered.

Haley grabbed his arm as he passed her. "No, I wanna know. Why did you kiss me?" She forced him to look at her as she stared up at him with her big brown eyes. "I wanted to." He muttered. "Wanted to? That's the best you can do? Then why did you stop talking to me?"

"Because!" Nathan sighed in frustration as we walked out of the room, already knowing she would follow. "I'm supposed to be looking after you! Not take advantage of you!"

"Nathan! I'm not some damsel in distress! I'm coming to terms with the fact that this is gonna be my life from now on! and it scares me. The only thing that scares me more is always gonna be treated like a nobody. YOU of all people should be treating me like me, not some hopeless case." For a moment they were both quiet.

"I'm sorry. But you're married, you have a husband somewhere. You can't be mine!" Haley eyes shot up. "I don't know that man. All I know about the man is a name! how can you say I belong to him more than I belong to you! That's just a piece of paper, probably devalued by my probable death."

She walked back to where Nathan was standing. "Did you never notice, that I wasn't wearing my weddingband after I came back?" She said and held up her hand.

Nathan grabbed the arm she held up and pulled her in. Their lips collided.

Haley was surprised by his lips suddenly on hers. His lips moved smoothly over hers and his tongue wandered gently into her mouth. Once reality set with Haley she wound her arms around his neck. Running her hand through the hair in the back of his neck. Nathan, probably just as surprised by his move and Haley, let go of her arm to support her balancing frame. His hand reached her hips pulling her closer to him.

Moaning softly Haley pulled away for air, not moving from her spot in his arms.

Both were catching their breath not moving, staring into each other's eyes. "Thank you.." Haley whispered, a smile creeping onto her face. She leaned her forehead against his and felt his arms envelop her, hugging her small frame tightly. "What am I gonna do with you?" he whispered pecking her lips softly. Haley looked up at him smiling. "well, I don't know about you.. ,but uhm. I'm going to call Brooke." She giggled and pulled away to walk back to her bedroom.

But Nathan grabbed her arm before she could leave the room and pulled her back to her in one swift move. Grabbing her face between his hands and kissing her again deeply.

Pulling away Haley found him grinning back up at her. "Now you can go call Brooke." She chuckled and turned on her heels as she walked out of the room, giggling as Nathan smacked her but on the way out.

Nathan sighed and plopped down on his couch with a silly grin on his face. It felt good. He knew Haley was right about his issues. She barely knew who she was according to the law, so she couldn't possibly belong to someone else. And if anyone knew her it was him. He been with her throughout the whole thing. He was in practically every memory she had.

In her bedroom Haley was staring at her cards Nathan had given her earlier. "Haley Scott, October 11th 1987. Atlanta, New Jersey." That's who she was from now on. It didn't really surprise her that Brooke had used Atlanta as her home town. After all it was the best hunch she'd had so far.

She picked up her phone and called Brooke. The phone rang a couple of times before Brooke answered. "Hey Brookie." She called. "Haley? Hey! How are you? Did you like your room? Oh god Are you their yet. Did I just totally ruin the surprise! Shit I'm sorry.."

Haley chuckled. "Calm down Brookie. We're here alright. And the room is beautiful, thank you." Brooke sighed relieved. "Good, and how do you like your New ID, Haley Scott?"

Haley laid back on the bed. "It's good. I've got more good news. I think." Haley could hear Brooke frown. "you think?" Haley chuckled. "Yes, I think so. I.. uhm. I.. Nathan Kissed me."

The line when dead. Haley frowned and looked at the phone to see Brooke had hung up the phone.

She got up and walked back into the living room. To find Nathan on the phone. "Geez, calm down Brooke!" He cursed. He pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at Haley. "what the hell, did you tell her?" Haley shook her head chuckling.

"Calm down Brooke. Yes, I kissed Haley. Because I like her. A lot. Yes. I will. Promise. Bye Brooke." He shook his head and hung up. Haley laughed and sat down in his lap. "She crazy." She muttered, before pecking Nathan sweetly. Then Haley phone rang. "Brooke" read the display.

Haley laughed and shook her head. "Hey Brookie."

Nathan wrapped his arms around her waist as she sat in his lap. "Yes. Yes. I don't know, while you were in Florida I think. Her eyes slowly met Nathan, who was smiling at her like crazy. It was a look that looked strange on him, but nonetheless charming.

"Yes, Okay. Bye Brooke."

She hung up and tossed her phone onto the other side of the couch and pulled Nathan by his face in to a kiss.

"Oh my god.." Peyton moaned and collapsed back on the bed. "That was amazing." Derek tried to catch his breath. "Yes." Having Peyton around had made it easier to live with pain. He gave up on caring about Peyton's fiancé. He was being selfish using Peyton to live through the pain of losing Haley.

"Again?" He grinned. Peyton shook her head. "No. I'm spend." She whined laughing.

"you're right we should eat something." He got up and waddled naked out of the room. Peyton plopped back on the bed.

Her phone, lying on the nightstand, rang. She sighed and picked up. "Hey, babe." She said.

John was pissed. Two months ago he told her he'd give her the time she needed to process Haley's death, but it had been two months and now he wanted her home. But she was too ashamed to go home.

She could use her bestfriend now, but then again, she was sleeping with that friends husband.

"I'm sorry John. Yes I know. In a couple of weeks. I promise, okay, bye."

Haley couldn't be declared dead officially until they found her body or she'd been missing seven years or so. So officially she still existed. Officially Derek was still married. She still hoped that Haley would show up sometime soon. Because her life was mess.

One day she was getting married waiting for her best friend and maid of honor to come join her and the next she was dead and she was drowning her pain by sleeping with her husband.

"Hey, I'm ordering pizza. What do you want?" Derek peaked into the room with the phone in his hand. She smiled 'You decided"

Derek nodded and disappeared again. 'Okay."

She just wished she could rewind the last three months.

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><p><strong>Let me know what you think!<strong>


	9. Can't keep looking over my shoulder

**So people new chapter. Sorry for the endless wait last time, but i've got it together and figured a couple of things out. **

**Warning Rated M this chapter, just so you know,  
>Let me know what you think! Enjoy!<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 9. Can't keep looking over my shoulder in to the dark<strong>

Haley waddled around the kitchen in one of Nathan's button-up shirts that drowned her. She was making breakfast while Nathan was still asleep.

They had been taking things slow, knowing that under whatever other circumstance they would have had to as well. Because biology may be saying something else mentally, emotionally, Haley was a virgin and this was a growing relationship, even though they were living together. So while Nathan was still in Charlotte for training he'd take her out on a date every other night. To some of his favorite restaurants in Charlotte. Often small and less well known establishments. On other days they'd stay in and order Chinese or Haley'd cook Mac 'n Cheese, that was the only thing she knew how to cook.

She's signed up for cooking class so she had something to do with her time while Nathan was training and occasionally she'd try some of what she'd learned out on Nathan. Some with better results than others.

However last night was their two month anniversary. Nathan had taken her out to dinner and had pulled out all kinds of romantic tricks. Surprising her with roses as he came home to pick her up and having the restaurants band play her favorite songs. Afterwards he'd taken her home and they had drank a glass of wine before Haley had turned her focus solely on Nathan and smiled earnestly;

_Haley grabbed his face between her hands and pulled him in gently, kissing him softly. It was certainly not the first time they kissed but the kiss was so much more passionate and yet gentle, that it was far beyond a casual kiss. Taken aback it took Nathan a few seconds to recover, before the complied with her lips running gently of his. Moving his hands to her sides Nathan brought her closer, needing to feel her body against his. Haley moved her hands to his neck, playing with the short hairs in the back of his neck, as she slipped her tongue into his mouth, joining his.  
>Nathan lifted her of the couch and into his arms as he walked them into their bedroom. He could sense tonight was the night and so had Haley. <em>

_His left arm wrapped around her waist to steady her as the right undid her clip releasing her curls of dark blonde hair down her back. He ran his fingers through her luscious hair and then gripped the back of her head in place as he forcefully slipped his tongue into her all too willing mouth once again. She let him lead as she felt his tongue play against hers and lost what little control she had left. Once their tongues batted for dominance, she took control and pushed him back against the bedroom wall causing him to pause in surprise at her eagerness for a mere second. He grinned at her and dove back in capturing her lower lip with his teeth and causing her push her body into him harder due to the mixture of pleasure and pain he had caused her._

_She felt his hands fall to her back and roam her exposed area. She moaned into his mouth as she felt his hands slide beneath the material of her dress and cup her backside. She could feel his obvious want for her straining against the material of his pants as she rubbed her lower half into his. Her body remembering exactly, even though he mind didn't. Her body ached for his as she lost herself in the embrace. Pulling way for breath Nathan stared at her._

_"I can't stop." Nathan breathlessly confessed._

"_I don't want you to." Haley assured him, smiling as she pulled the string in her neck that held her dress for the evening together. Bringing her hand up to her chest to keep it from falling immediately, she was little shy. She brought her lips up to meet his fleetingly.  
>Nathan gently took her hand and watched the material fall from her chest revealing her magnificent full breasts and rosy nipples. He was transfixed and it took him a moment to respond.<em>

_"You're gorgeous, come here" he pulled her down with him onto the bed and dropped the rest of the dress in the process. He kissed her deeply again, then moved to her neck, and then down to her chest. He took one in his mouth and lightly teased her nipple with his tongue making her whimper underneath him. He moved and took the other one in his mouth giving it equal treatment._

_Haley's hips bucked up to meet his. Her body was on fire and she needed him now. She felt him lightly kiss down her stomach and his tongue trace around her bellybutton before he finally reached the only clothing that remained. He kept his hands massaging her breast above him the entire time and with his teeth undid her the lacy ties that held her panties together. She moaned and raked her fingers through his hair. He brought his hands down and slowly pulled her panties away leaving her in nothing but what god gave her._

_"God your beautiful" Nathan muttered soaking up the sight of her nude body lying before him._

_"Mm, stop staring and show me" she smirked up at him and grabbed for him._

_Nathan removed his shirt and Haley immediately seized the opportunity and pushed him down on his back. She climbed on top of him and let her hands run along his toned chest. She dropped wet open-mouthed kisses where her hands had previously been and swirled her tongue over his nipples before working her way down. She undid his dress pants in record time and took his boxer briefs off as she pulled down the pants. It was her turn to stare as she took in him in all his glory for the first time. She had felt it before, but seeing it throbbing before her had her entranced. She moved to instinct and bent down to take him into her mouth, but he stopped her._

_"I need to be inside you now," and the look in his eyes showed he was not open for discussion. She needed him just as much as he needed her. He moved her underneath him and in an instant their lips were fuzzed together and their hands roamed each other's bodies. He moved his hand in between them and felt she was ready, more than ready._

_This was it, the point of no return, but all she saw was Nathan and how happy he made her. Nothing else mattered or seemed to exist except this moment. He looked deeply in her eyes and silently asked her permission and the look in her eyes was all the answer he needed and with one thrust they were one.  
>They both cried out at the initial sensation of one another. Nathan slowly started to move within her. She writhed underneath him and wrapped her legs around his waist as he picked up speed. The rocked together in a perfect rhythm only long time lovers seemed to find. Their lips barely left the others the entire time until they felt themselves climbing. Nathan tucked his head into her neck as he moved in and out of her. Haley moaned in his ear urging him faster and harder.<em>

_Haley felt herself spiraling out of control she clawed at his back and clenched her thighs around him. She started to scream and bit down on his shoulder to stifle her cries of passion. "Say my name," he commanded her. He needed to hear his name spill from her lips as he drove her to the brink._

_With what little concentration she had left she chanted his name over and over as he moved harder and harder into her. She screamed his name when she found herself at the point of no return. She heard Nathan moan and could feel him finding his release inside her and even as she shut her eyes to ride the waves of ecstasy. _

Now she was walking around the kitchen fixing him breakfast playing last night's events over and over in her mind, knowing full well, that they'd be doing it again soon. She fixed coffee, juice and croissants on the platter and plucked a rose out of a vase to go with it. Grabbing the last couple of things for on the plate, gave it a last look to see it she had everything.

She'd been waiting a long time with Nathan but last night she'd just known it was the right time. So she'd gone for it. Thinking back to it, she felt herself getting turned on again. His hands on her bare skin, moving along her sides down to her ass. Her nipples rubbing against his chest as he pulled them close.

She shook away the thoughts, focusing at the task at hand; breakfast. Quickly she lifted the platter and waddled back towards the bedroom with it. Opening the door, she peeked in to see if Nathan was still asleep, hoping her breakfast didn't wake him. But as soon as set her sights on him, she could tell we was awake. For a moment, thought, she stood still watching him, pretend to be asleep.

"You can come in with that breakfast you know." Nathan said with his eyes closed. As she saw him slowly lift one eyelid to see if she was moving, she laughed softly for looked ridiculous. "are you laughing at me, babe?" He smirked. Opening both eyes and sitting up.

Haley paddled to the bed and placed the platter down by his feet and crawling up the bed to sit next to him, meeting her awaiting lips in a kiss.

"Good morning." He whispered as he pulled away. "Good morning to you too, I made you breakfast." Haley smiled, pulling Nathan back into a kiss. 'thanks, but I have all the breakfast I need right here." Nathan murmured as he kissed down her neck, maneuvering her underneath him. Haley relished the incredible feeling running through her body as Nathan tongue ran circles over her skin.

She ran her fingers through his hair holding her head to her. His lips found her nipples, after he discarded the shirt. She hissed at his teeth raking over her nipples one first than the other. She moaned his name not bothering to be quiet. "Nathan.." she breath at his hands traveling further down.

Feeling his erection press against her thigh, she ran her hands from his head down his back, feeling all his muscles bulge underneath his skin. Reaching his ass, she pinched it, electing a moan form Nathan.

Quickly Haley had them flipped over and she straddled Nathan, her hand firmly on his chest holding him down. "My turn." She giggled bowing down to kiss him. Her hair falling over her shoulder.

Nathan shortly admired the view of her naked form in only an open hanging shirt of his, her breasts firm and her nipple taut, her hair hanging over her shoulder framing her face against the morning sun, which didn't hold a candle to the radiance of her playful smile.

"Damn you're gorgeous." he grinned and a crimson blush crept over her cheeks. "Right back at ya." She giggled leaning in to kiss him again. "Mmn, Hales.." He groaned. "Let's never leave this bedroom." Haley nodded mutely, pinching his nipples.

Nathan gripped her hips rubbing her against his dick, or at least he tried. Her wouldn't budge, resisting with a sly smile on her face. "Hales.." He whined.

Be instead of waiting on her, he caught her of guard rolling them over.

With a loud crash, them both looked up from each other. Shortly wondering what on earth that was.

"What the hell?" Haley sat up. "What just happened" Nathan got off of her and they both looked around still slightly startled. Just then Haley noticed their breakfast on the floor.

"Nathan.. look." They both laughed and Nathan pulled her back into him. "I told you I didn't need that breakfast you are all I need." He sighed as he smelled her sweet scent and pulled her in for a kiss. His lips covering hers as he slipped his tongue into her mouth. Their tongues battled as their hands roamed each others bodies.

"Oh my god, I didn't want to see that." A screech from the door way came, interrupting them once one. Nathan pulled away annoyed to find his sister in the doorway. "Fucking cock block" He muttered, but Haley swatted his arm, telling him to shut up. 'Hi, Brooke." Haley greeted her, quickly buttoning up the shirt, she was miraclishly still wearing.

Nathan turned around to face his sister. "What are you doing here Brooke?"

"Oh good lord Nathan, put some clothes on I'm scare for life. Ugh!" Brooke shook her head in disgust and turned around walking out of the bedroom. Nathan plopped down on bed agitated. "Ahh, baby don't take it personally. I happen to think you look gorgeous." She whispered in his ear. Trailing her hand down his stomach toward his manhood.

Nathan shivered at her hot breath on her ear. "Oh, Haley.' He whined, "tease."

"Who said anything about teasing?"

"Brooke we're going to shower!" they called in union and making a ran for the bathroom.

Nathan wrapped his arms around Haley as she stood by the stove in a second attempt to make them breakfast. "Smells good."

"I know I'm an increasingly better cook." She smiled leaning back against him.

Nathan opened his mouth the contradict, but Brooke was quicker. "Yes, Nathan we know that's not what you were referring to! God, who knew my obnoxious, cocky, arrogant, self-centered, manwhore of a big brother, could ever become so whipped and soft, so quickly."

Both Nathan and Haley, looked at Haley in wonderment. "you done sweet baby sister of mine." Nathan said sarcastically. Brooke rolled her eyes, waving for him to go on.

She'd been so happy for Haley that she'd found someone, to give the nothingness that was her memory empty life, meaning. Even if that was her man whore brother.

The truth was Nathan too could use someone to make the life he'd build for himself useful. After all, all he'd use it for previously was basketball and sex.

"So Brooke what brings you here? What's wrong with school?" Haley asked shrugging Nathan off, to set the table. She was happy Brooke here, because Brooke was her only girly friend, or only friend actually. Since she started dating Nathan, she could use someone to talk to. Also because recently there had been a realization about the possible consequences of a failure.

"Fall break." Brooke didn't bother to elaborate. Haley nodded. Nathan however did feel the need to add something to that.

"Usually she goes back to Tree hill, to mom and dad, or she stays at Duke, however, for some reason she decided to come and bug us."

Nathan loved his sister to death and all, but she was being a terrible cock blocker, probably here to hog Haley for the rest of the week. "Nathan!" Haley chastised him. "She'd your sister and we're glad she'd here." Nathan rubbed his arm pouting from the hard shove Haley'd given him. "Ouch Hales,. You sure hit hard for such a small person."

"Quit pouting." She said rolling her eyes, before plopping down on the couch next to Brooke. "I missed you Brookie" She muttered hugging her.

The rest of the day, after breakfast, Haley and Brooke had hung out and gone shopping leaving Nathan to play a little ball with his teammates for fun.

Sitting down at a little café dropping their shopping bags in the next chair, Brooke and Haley rested their feet. "You know, I'm feeling so much better than I did a couple of months ago." Haley confessed. "It just feels like everything is falling in place." Brooke nodded.

"For so long I've felt like no one. Like I didn't belong, like I didn't exist, like I had no ground that held me. Only tied to a bunch of hunches and a wedding ring. Ever since Nathan kissed me that day we arrived, I've felt like I belong. Like I have a home. I'm coming to terms with being Haley Scott."  
>Nathan kissed her and everything had falling into place.<p>

"I'm happy for you Haley. I know Nathan can't imagine a live without you. That's new to him, So that's good." For a while both girls said in silence enjoying life in the fall sun.

"At the same time, though." Haley suddenly said. "I'm feeling like if I screw up. If Nathan and I fail, if this relationship fails, I've got nothing. No way Nathan and I can live in one place after all that."

Brooke nodded over thinking the issue. "true, all the more reason not to screw up."

"Which means we are in this for life." Haley concluded. "You are. But what about Nathan. you have a lot more riding on this that he does."

"I'm so depended on the two of you still, it's unhealthy." Brooke grabbed Haley's hand, understanding her fears. "Then there's only one thing you can do." She said. "We are going to find you real family, so we can get the entire Haley whatever-your-last-name-is, all to ourselves." Haley looked up at Brooke. "thank you for understanding Brooke. Right now there isn't any life I'd trade for being with you and Nathan. But you know there is a possibility that that'll change when I find them, right?"

Brooke nodded. And she knew the idea of Haley looking for them wasn't going to go well with Nathan.

"I won't tell Nathan, promise."

Yesterday, Peyton had wrote down her feelings about losing her best friend, only days before she was getting married. Today she wrote down her guilt about sleeping with that friends husband.  
>And so on. She had returned home to john, 6 weeks ago and had admitted she had slept with Derek several times, both hurting trying to release the pain.<p>

John hadn't taken in well, but he had taken it far for bad. He was hurt and slightly revolted , but understood it as well. He'd told her he needed to know what went on it her mind to be able to help her and understand her. And so over the last 6 weeks they'd been repairing a very broken relationship. It had been painful, but it muted the pain of Haley's death. Today was officially 6 months since Haley's accident. Half a year. This morning the realization that she'd been living without her for half a year had kicked in, and the air out of her longs. She'd been so caught up in her own web of problems the pain had inflicted.

Yesterday she had started a blog. The girl whose best friend died one day. It was pretty straight forward.  
>Today was "how I slept with her husband and didn't care." She needed to write it down, hoping the world would share her pain, or she could at least sell the movie rights.<p>

"How's today's blog coming along?" John asked as he sat down on the couch leaning. "Oaky I guess. It's not hard to tell the truth to a computer screen, where at most three people will read it.

John chuckled, he had considered it hard to hear about her feeling toward Haley's death and her escapades with Derek, but he'd understood. He didn't know Haley very well.

The first three months during the summer had been the hardest. After that without Peyton, he just missed Peyton, there was not grief to him. Then the two months that followed seemed easier, until Peyton came home and told him the truth. That had been the same moment the search team, told them that they weren't gonna find Haley. That if she hadn't washed up now, that the tide had taken her up to sea and that she wasn't going to be found.

Peyton that had been tough for Haley. Because he knew she was hoping to at least have she body close to home so she could talk to her. Now it was like Haley had completely disappeared to her.

"John?" Peyton said. Peyton had just posted her latest update and now there was a comment by someone underneath the picture.

_"Is her name Haley? And her husband Derek?"_ that's all it said. "What am I to make of this?" Peyton asked. "Is this someone who knew Haley and heard about the accident, and when they read this wondered if it was indeed about her, or maybe.."

"Maybe what Peyton? What other possibility do you see?" Peyton looked up at him and then back at the screen. "Maybe she's alive?"

Brooke typed the words carefully, choosing her words with thought. "You think?" She looked at Haley as they were both sprawled out over Brooke's bed in her dormroom. Nathan was on the road for the next week and so Haley had driven up to see Brooke and start looking as Brooke had promised. 'We're probably crazy.." Brooke amended, not wanting to get Haley's hopes up.

"If she says yes, it's me. It's got to be. How many Haley and Derek's do you think live in Atlanta and of which Haley has disappeared."

What are you gonna do when it's you?" Haley sighed. She didn't know. She was afraid that Nathan wasn't going to take it well. He'd see it as a rejection. And still she needed to know to fully live her life with Nathan. Because that's what she wanted. Have an actual life. Be someone, go to school or have a job. Maybe in the future Marry Nathan. But for that she needed to be someone and probably get divorced. While all at the same time, she might remember that she was head over heels in love with her husband and forget about Nathan straight away.

_"Yes, her name was Haley Summers, maiden name James. Why you ask?"_  
>both pair of eyes were stuck to the screen as they let the words sink in. She was Haley James.<p>

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><p><strong>O whatcha think?<strong>


	10. The definition of a spy

**Hi everyone,**

**A new update is here. It's pretty long. A few things are gonna unravel in this chapter, Brooke and Haley found Peyton, but Peyton has found Brooke as well so Please read and review let me know what you think?**

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><p><strong>Chapter 10. The definition of a spy and the difference with an infiltrator<strong>

"Ask." Haley pushed while Brooke was still recovering from the initial shock. They had tried so hard to find a link with Haley's disappearance somewhere and her appearance in North Carolina.  
>the blog they found was quite new and that was probably the reason it hadn't come up in their search before.<p>

It was a blog written by what appear to have been Haley Best friend. Haley had been skeptical about the story of this girl. Car ran off the bridge, they never found the girl but they did find her car? But The name. The state. The husband. It was too much of a coincidence.

"Is it true she married Derek? And did she still wear that ridiculous name necklace." Pretending to be someone Haley one knew, they were trying to collect information about her.

Brooke complied, the truth getting all too real too fast. As Nathan, she too was afraid of losing Haley. But where Nathan didn't know she was looking, Brooke was helping her. The truth was hard to come to terms with, but when she gave it some thought Brooke knew she'd less to lose. And a smaller chance of losing it.  
>If Haley were to go back to Derek, it would most probably break Nathan. That thought halted her actions. "Don't do it Haley." She whispered.<p>

Tears welled up in her eyes. "I have to Brooke. Not knowing about me is killing me!"

"_Yes, she did. She loves him. You knew her from college you said? What's with her necklace?" _

Haley pulled the laptop onto her lap. _"yeah, I used to know her. You must miss her, losing her like that.. Sorry about the necklace comment it's just the curly letters never seemed like something Haley would pick." She typed. She was trying to figure out if she was still who she used to be. Or that losing all memories had made her a different person"._

_"Yes, I miss her like crazy. She was always the sane one you know? Like the necklace she hated it, but Derek gave it to her on their first date. She thought it was cheeky and ugly, but she loved him so much that at some point it didn't matter what it looked like."_

Brooke pulled the laptop from her arms and closed it. "Hey!" Haley yelled. "What the hell, Brooke?" She was so close to know so much about a life that was once hers and she just needed to know more.  
>But when she looked up she was Brooke with tears in her eyes. "Oh Brooke."<br>Brooke sniffled. "that's your best friend. And I know you say you won't go, but you are desperate to find out about your life."

"I am. But that doesn't change that you're the first girl I had a girls night with or my first girl fight. Or shared clothes with. And you, Brooke Scott, are the first girl I called when the boy I liked kissed me and admitted he like me too." She cupped Brooke's face. "you're my person." She kissed Broke cheek.

"Now please let's find out why I have this strange craving for peanut butter at 10 pm." Brooke cracked a smile, having always made fun of Haley for that habit.  
>"Okay. But let me type. So you won't get lost in old conversations with your once upon a time best friend."<p>

Brooke opened the laptop and read over the last comment. "That sure sounds like Haley, all for the cheekiness when a guy's involved." Brooke typed back. "Hey!" Haley swatted Brooke. "I'm not cheeky. Nathan is cheeky. I'm all for the romance." Brooke laughed and shook her head. "but that IS cheeky." Rolling her eyes Haley turned her eye back to the screen.

_"Oh yeah. That's Haley all right.. You think you could give me your email address, so we can email? It's nice to talk about Haley with someone who knew her in college. I missed those years going to a different school and all."_

Haley nodded nervously yes to Brooke. She tried not to freak out, but she was so close to her real life she could almost touch them.

Giving the girl an email address, one especially made. She didn't have one yet, so picking a bunch of random words as email.

""

_"Hi, Peyton is it?_

_It's nice to talk to you too, I was good friends with Haley. I sometimes wonder what has come of her since I last met her. What she was like. How she was with Derek. We split up as friends under unpleasant circumstances, which I regret a lot._  
><em>Anyway, I can tell you about College Haley if you can tell me about Married Haley.<em>

_- Brooke."_

"Brooke? Really? You're going with Brooke. Not Penelope? Of Francois? Something fun? You're going to have conversations on my email address about me, under your own name?" Haley mocked Brooke.

"Oh you try writing Peyton something back when she replies. See if you still think it's funny." Brooke countered, at an eye rolling Haley.

"Fine I will. Oh look!"

_"Dear Brooke,_

_It's funny, you sat you were such good friends but she never told me about you. I wonder why? What else she's kept from me. Haley was always honest, with a cracking sense a humor. The girl was queen of sarcasm.—"_

"tell me about it." Brooke muttered, receiving a punch from Haley. "Ha-Ha.." she deadpanned.

_"—And she's definitely got a violent streak. The girl could punch you real hard. Her husband he always said he like that most about her. She always seemed so innocent, but she could be real fierce and take control. She was considering becoming a mum when.., when she disappeared._  
><em>She really wanted that, she always said that her parents were such good parents, loving people. She's from a big family I think she felt lonely, that's why she wanted a big family. Children to fill that big empty house. I remember vacations together when I had to sleep with ear plugs because it was impossible not to hear Haley and Derek going at it. They were so in love, head of heels.<em>  
><em>When Derek proposed to her, she came to me telling me all the sweet things he'd done and how she felt just blissfully happy. That every fiber in her body tingled. She was that passionate kind. The kind a guy gets and never ever wants to let go. Going into utter submission. She loved her job, she became a producer. Helping others make music. It took her away from home a lot but she was crazy about it and I for sure envied her.<em>  
><em>but it's your turn.."<em>

Wow. Haley stared at the screen for a moment. That was quite an extraordinary description.

Brooke's eyes teared up again. That was Haley to the dot! She saw it in Nathan whenever he looked at her, she saw it whenever they would jump up and down the bed listening the Kelly Clarkson Music and she saw when Nathan left for the road – Loneliness enveloping her.

"It's good to see I'm still me." Haley cracked a joke to lighten the mood. "That's for sure." Brooke smile, her eyes still weary.

Haley picked up the laptop and began to reply. _"I know you want me to tell about Haley in college, but I don't think there is a lot of difference with how she was before or after, because the girl you just described was absolutely the Haley I knew._  
><em>But I just wondered. What you think happened with Haley. You said she drove of a bridge? You don't think she did that on purpose do you? Did she have a reason to do so? You did sleep with her husband."<em>

Brooke looked at Haley. "Are you mad she slept with your husband? 'cause that sure as hell sounds like an accusation." Haley giggled. She wasn't mad or upset for that matter. She just wanted to know if her life was really that perfect or that maybe there were the cracks nobody spoke about.

"I'm not, Brooke. I don't care what they did or what they're still doing. Because, I don't remember these people and I have you and Nathan so I don't need them." Brooke flung her arms around her neck hugging her. 'I love you. I love you. I love you." Haley laughed whole heartedly, her smile radiant.

"I love you too Brookie."

"You're so gonna be the world best SIL." Haley frowned. "What's sil? Brooke rolled her eyes. "Sister is Law? Duh!" Haley cracked a smile.

"There is just one tiny little thing that's kinda relevant." Haley eyes moved to the screen. "In order to marry I have to become Haley James again."

"John come look at this." Peyton called out for him. She was starring at the emails that Brooke sent her. There was something uncanny about the emails. This girl was prying, but really had nothing to tell her. She didn't know anything, except for Derek's name and for some reason the silly necklace Haley wore.

"What do you think?" John's eyes screened through the emails. "Strange. I don't think this was someone she used to know. At least not in college.

Peyton looked at John and then back at the screen. "You think you can trace it? See who this Brooke is and where she's from. Maybe then we can confront her?"

John took the laptop to his office and began clicking away at his computer while continuously keeping an eyes on the laptop. "Brooke Scott, Duke University in Durham, North Carolina" He announced. He looked over his shoulder to find Peyton nervously pull at the hem of her shirt. "What are we waiting for? Let's go!" She said.

"Thanks, Brooke so much. I'll CC you any email I write to Peyton." She said as she hugged Brooke goodbye and got into her car. Nathan was coming home tonight, so she was gonna surprise him with dinner. "Okay sweetie. I'll see you soon. Love ya! Say hi to Nathan for me!"

Haley closed the car door and started the engine. "Will do. And Call me Brookie. Bye." With those last parting words she left. Back to Charlotte, avoiding any big bridges on the way. Apparently she had bad karma with those.

Later that night Haley sat on the couch all dressed up in a dark silver halter dress with straight neckline. She had made dinner, lit the candles and was now awaiting Nathan's arrival. She was a little nervous. Mostly because she wanted to tell Nathan about what she and Brooke discovered, but wasn't sure how he would react.

Then she heard noise in the hallway and a few seconds later the door opened revealing Nathan in jeans and his leather jacket towing in her luggage. "Hey baby." Haley quipped, leaping up from the couch to greet him properly.

Nathan looked up to find Haley all dressed up and her eyes gleaming. "Hey Beautiful." He dropped his luggage and wrapped his arms around her. Haley jumped into his arms at his greeting, wrapping her arms around his neck, kissing him passionately. Nathan moaned at the feeling of his lips reunited with hers. He deepened the kiss quickly, brushing his tongue into her mouth. He closed his arms more tightly around her lifting her of the floor.

Eventually pulling away and putting her down on the floor Nathan grinned. "God I missed you." Haley's smile mirroring his. 'Right back at ya! I made dinner." He disposed himself of his jacket and followed Haley into the kitchen. "How was your trip?" She smiled sitting down at the table that was set with his favorite food.

As they dug into it, Nathan began to tell her about the road, his teammates, the games, and about how much he had missed her. In turn Haley told Nathan about what she'd done with her time while he was away telling him about how she spend a good deal of time at Duke, hanging out with Brooke, helping Brooke with her schoolwork and even attending a couple of classes with her.

After dinner Nathan pulled Haley into his arms. "I've missed you so much, Hales. Your smell, your smile, your voice." He pulled her into a kiss. "Your lips." He grinned.

Haley smiled and pulled him with her through their bedroom into their bathroom, where Candles lit the room. She opened the tap to fill the bathtub and turned back to Nathan. "Wanna bathe together?" she proposed with a cheeky grin.

"With you always." He leaned down to kiss her while slowly untying the knot that held a part of her dress in place. Roaming her hands over his chest, Haley began unbuttoning his dress shirt.

Undressing each other Haley and Nathan waiting her the bathtub to fill with incredibly bubbly warm water. They sunk away in it together, like the rest of the world didn't exist. They roamed each other's bodies and unwounded. Both were in great need of relaxation and a moment to come closer to each other.

Haley relished in the feeling of the warm water surrounding her, Nathan's arms around her, his taut chest she was leaning against. She felt save and at peace, it had been a long time since she'd felt like that. It was so hard to feel like she belonged when what held her to her home wasn't there. It was part of the reason she had spent so much time with Brooke.

"You're quiet." Nathan noted running his hand through her hair. "Something on your mind?" Haley smiled and shook her head quietly.

"No, nothing at all. That's just it. I'm enjoying having you here again." She spoke wrapping his arms tighter around herself. Securing herself in his arms.  
>Nathan nodded agreeing with her. It was nice. After spending two weeks on the road with ten guys, he was in grave need of some female contact. And besides he really missed her. The silence was one of comfort.<p>

"My name is Haley James." She suddenly whispered. Nathan chuckled. "Role playing Haley? Nice."

Haley chuckled and shook her head, before returning to a serious note. "No, Brooke and I have begun a search for my real Identity and we found me." Haley could feel Nathan tense up behind her. The muscles in his chest contracted and he sat up. Turning Haley in the tub he forced her to look at him. "You did What?" He gritted his teeth. "Calm down. Let me explain."

"Explain what? That you went looking for your husband? Does he know you're here?" Anger and hurt were both coursing through his body. Anger playing highest note, to hide the hurt.

"We found a blog of this girl about how she lost her best friend, two days or something before her wedding. It goes on about how the best friend had been on her way to the wedding and drove off a bridge on the way because of a storm." There was no change in Nathan's demeanor as she spoke.

"We made contact with the girl, we asked her about the necklace and my husband and she confirmed, that in combination that you guys found me in the water… That's me. That's how I lost my memory."

She brought her hand up to his face, to cup his cheek. "I love you, but in order to move on I need to know who I am and come to terms with what has happened to me." She whispered.

His features softened and the hurt surfaced. "I love you too. I just don't want to lose you Hales. I'm scared I guess." Haley sighed and closed the distance between their lips. "I'll let you read the emails we've exchanged under Brooke's name." Haley turned back around in his arms and leaned back.

"I'm scared too you know. Scared of what kind of people they are and what will happened once they know I'm still alive." Nathan stroked his hands over her skin, but halted his movements at her comment. "You want them to know you're still alive?" Haley leaned back and turned her head to look up at him. "Yes, Because that's the only way I'll be able to become Haley James again, legally. The only way I'll be able to open my own back account and make my own money." She nudged him, seeing him nod in understanding. "And because it's the only way I will ever be able to marry you, if you decide that's what you want." She added with a shy grin.

"when" Nathan said wrapped his arms tightly around her again. Haley looked up confused. Nathan leaned down to kiss her, displaying a silly grin on his face. "You said, if. It's when, I decide I wanna marry you, because I promise you I'm gonna marry you Haley James."

Nathan watched her face light up and leaned in to kiss her again. Haley giggled as he flipped them, causing her to disappear into the water..

Before long, they were making love in the tub enjoying being back together. The bathroom filled with laughter, giggles, moans and the sounds of splattering.

Brooke looked up from her book, schoolbook, when there was a rapid knock on her dorm room door. Her roommate was out for the night, staying at her boyfriends. Lucas was out with the guys and she'd mentioned to all of her friends she was attempting to study tonight. So the persistent knock on the door was a mystery to Brooke. She put the book away and got up from the bed.

As she opened the door a curly blonde appeared and a tall brown haired man beside her. Brooke frowned. Who were these people? "Can I help you?"

The blonde extended her hand and attempted to smile, but failed miserably, which worried Brooke. "Peyton Sawyer." Brooke's eyes widened. She quickly tried to hide her surprise hoping to divert the problem at hand.

"Uhm, Nice to meet you?"she frowned, while her heart was racing. This was Haley's best friend. The person that knew Haley best in the world, or at least old Haley.

"You are Brooke Scott right?" Brooke frowned genuine this time. "Yes, who are you and how do you know my name." She asked irritated. "Can we come in. I'm pretty sure you know who I am."

"Sure come in." Brooke bit her lip wondering if she should warn Nathan and Haley. But she decided against it as she had just hours earlier gotten a text from Haley saying she was prepping for the perfect night with Nathan when he came home. She wasn't going to ruin that.

"How can I help?" she motioned for them to sit down. "this is my boyfriend, he tracked our contact over my blog to you here."

"Your blog? I don't know you."

"Don't be coy. You know me, because you read my blog and you were asking all kinds of questions about my dead best friend and I wanna know why. You are in college. So you never went to college with Haley. But you know things about her like her necklace so tell me!"

Brooke swallowed not sure what to do anymore. Then her phone rang and Haley's face appeared on the screen. Brooke's eyes widened and quickly snatched the phone of the bed where it lay beside her. She quickly answered it. "Hey, Sweetie."

She walked to the other corner of the room, not trusting Peyton and the guy she brought enough to leave the room.

"Hey, I can't talk long, Nathan's asleep." Brooke smiled. "Worn him out did you?"

It was quiet one the other side of the line for a bit before Haley replied; "Yes, I did." She sounded proud. Brooke grinned. "Good girl. Why did you call again?"

"I told Nathan about us finding me and about Peyton and the emails." Brooke winced. "Ouch. . How did he take it?" She spoke to Haley quietly while watching Peyton on the other side of the room.

"He was hurt I think. He's so insecure when it comes to me. He's so afraid of losing me." Brooke nodded. "Yes, I think honestly that it would kill him if all this would result to going back to D- You know who." Brooke cursed under her breath for almost saying his name out loud in the same room as Peyton.

"Well, I'd hate to see that happen. But at the same time I can't promise that it won't. I can promise I won't right now. But he knows we'll have to face who I used to be at some point. The result will probably depend on how much it will make me remember."

At that moment Brooke decided to withhold the truth from Haley about Peyton. For her brother's sake. For her family's sake.

"I've gotta go." She ended the call.

"I'm sorry about that. You were saying again? Oh right something about your blog."

Brooke turned around and walked back to where Peyton and her boyfriend were seated.

"I can't help you. This internet connection is used by all students in this building and even my laptop is used by a lot of people I'm kind of a popular face around here. You know my brother went to school here and he's in the NBA now. So a lot of people come and go really."

"And they would use your laptop repeatedly for this kind of strange conversations on my blog?" Peyton asked suspecting Brooke of telling a big fat lie.

"Well, I suppose. That or he traced it wrong?" Brooke shrugged flopping down on her bed. "Why are you tracing people commenting on your blog, again?" she asked.

Peyton sighed glancing at John. She was about to answer Brooke when something hit her. "You signed all the email with the name Brooke. Of course it was you! Why do you have this many questions about a girl you never met in your life and why do you know so much about her."

"And why do you care, she's dead!" Brooke snapped. She was infuriated with this woman, why did she need to have Haley. Haley belonged to her and Nathan she was Haley Scott, not Haley Summers.  
>This woman had lost all the right to be her friend when she let her run off a bridge. Now Brooke was her best friend.<p>

"So you do know her. Then why do you want to know this stuff and how do you know here." Brooke bit her nails unsure of what to say. She had to say something then her eyes caught on the picture of her and Haley at the beach house this summer both in bikini laughing. Nathan had taken it. Haley's eyes were shining. Right then she should have know she was falling for Nathan. Something about the picture told her to have faith in the love they held for each other.

She looked back at Peyton with tears in her eyes. She then saw Peyton's eyes follow her previous line of sight. Peyton's eyes widened in shock as she saw a picture of Haley, the Haley that left her when she drove of that bridge, next to Brooke in a bikini on a beach, smiling brightly.

"When was that taken? Why is Haley in that photograph looking nowhere near college age. That's taken within this last year, but I don't know you and I knew everything about Haley because she's my best friend. So why don't I know you?"

Brooke got up and picked up the picture frame. She took out the photo. On the back was written; "You and Haley at the Beach house, august 22nd – Love, your Brother Nathan."

Brooke gave Peyton the picture, he hands trembling as she handed over the truth. Peyton eyes roamed the picture before she flipped it, her breath caught in her throat for a moment before the confusion struck. "This was after her death." She stated.

Brooke nodded: "That's because.. She's not dead."

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><p><strong>Ah the truth revealed. It's gonna get juicy 'cause Brooke's gonna protect her family from anything so she's not gonna give up Haley's whereabouts.<br>Anyway, let me know what you think!**

**Love philine **


	11. The Truth Unwinds

**hey everyone,**

**Another chapter, the truth is out. But how will this continue? What will Brooke do? What will Haley do?  
>Read and Find out! <strong>

**Let me know what you think? Have any ideas of how Derek should respond to the situation and to Haley's reaction. **

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><p><strong>Chapter 11. The Truth Unwinds<strong>

"What do you mean she's not dead." Peyton spoke once she found her voice back.

"Exactly as I said. She's. Not. Dead." Brooke was trembling and crying. She snatched the picture back from Peyton to put it back in the frame.

"I don't understand. It's not possible. The police said she's dead, that there was no way she could still be alive. She would have drifted off to sea and eaten by sharks." John put his hands on her arms. "Or she would wash up somewhere on the east coast." He reminded her.

Peyton sat and stared out the window for a while. "So she's alive?" Brooke nodded.

She took a deep breath and looked at Peyton. "Yes."

"I was playing football with my brother on the beach when he threw the ball into sea. I.. I went after it and as I grabbed the ball, I saw her floating. My brother resuscitated her, but when she woke up she didn't know who she was. She has no active memories of her life before the crash. We cleaned her up and took her to the cops…"

Both Peyton and John listened as Brooke told them, almost, everything.

"So when she came back I think she'd come to terms with the fact she might never know who she was." Brooke completed her story. Peyton released a breath.

"So that was three months ago. Where is she now." That was it. Brooke wiped the tears of her face and stood up. 'I think it's time for you to go." Peyton's face dropped.

Brooke straightened out her clothes, not planning on giving anymore away. Haley was hers. She belongs with Nathan, these people, had let her run off a bridge and lost her and now she belonged her them.

"Excuse me? You can't seriously expect me to leave now do you?" Brooke raised her eyebrows at Peyton anger. "You lost her. Now She'd with me. Now I'd like you to leave I have class in the morning."

Peyton lashed out and grabbed Brooke's wrist. "WHERE IS HALEY" Brooke pulled her hand out of her grip and stepped back. However she stood quiet, not speaking another word.

"It isn't your decision to make. Haley should decide whether she wants to be reunited with us." John reason between the girls.

Brooke walked to the door and opened it. "You two do not honestly think I went looking for you because I wanted to know where Haley was from. She asked me. We, sent those emails. She knows where to find you and how to contact you. If she wants to she will, if not she won't." Brooke spoke calmly. "Now, please leave."

Peyton shook her head and pushed the door back shut. "No! those emails were sent this morning. That means she was in this room this morning." Brooke rolled her eyes.

"Wow, you're quick." She mocked her. Haley was safely in Charlotte and as long as she didn't know about her residence with Nathan. They wouldn't find her.

"I lost my best friend 6 months ago only days before my wedding and everything that has happened since then I've had to cope with without my best friend. I need to see her. Is she here? At Duke? Where is she staying if you are here?"

Brooke reopened the door without replying.

It was quiet for a moment neither wanted to give in. "Haley is her own person you know. She does whatever the hell she wants, she has built a life with what she has. She'll let her know if she wants to talk to you."

Peyton took John's hand walked out. "Oh and Peyton. I think there was a fair amount of resentment in that last email she wrote." Pain flashed across both their faces.

A smug smile was displayed across her face and she threw the door in their face.

Releasing a breath she picked up her phone.

"Haley? Peyton was here she knows you're alive."

Haley yawned and rolled over in her bed colliding with a hard body. "Oh.." she groaned. "Watch it baby."She heard a husky voice breathe in her ear.

"Mmh.." She muttered a smile gracing her features. "My bed is no longer my own." She giggled. Nathan wrapped his arms around her before she could roll away. "Your bed? My bed you mean." He pulled her close and buried his head in her hair; Breathing in her smell.

He hugged her close to his body, feeling hers pressed against his. Haley looked up at him, her beautiful brown mirroring so much love. He fussed their lips together, enjoying the moment of being close to her.

The truth was that every since he and Haley got together the fear of her losing her was eating away at him. He had never been one to fall in love. He was afraid to fall in love. But Haley had made it impossible not to fall hard for her. She had convinced him single-handedly that he had to let her in. He had to love her. And god he did. But he lived in constant fear that it wasn't going to last.

When she told him last night what she and Brooke had been up to, he had felt it all slip away; Her slip away. He'd tried to disguise his pain with anger, but couldn't help it.

He was practically waiting for her to leave. Counting down the days. Taking every other day he got to have with her.

He loved waking up to her. Her smile and her smell, so good it made his day before it had even started.

"I love you." Haley whispered against his lips a grin playing her features. "I love you too." Kissed her slipping his hands under the covers. Haley giggled. "Ah, Nathan stop it. Noo" her last complained quickly turned into a moan...

An hour later Haley waddled into the kitchen in Nathan's Duke t-shirt. She had her phone in her hand Brooke had left a voicemail. She frowned dialing her voicemail. She grabbed a glass of out of the cabinet and filled it with water. She took a sip as she pushed her way through the dial menu.

Then Brooke's voice filled her ears.

The glass of water shattered, into a million pieces on the tile kitchen floor.

For a moment the world was spinning and she slowly felt the legs give out. She could feel herself fall, but she never hit the ground.

Nathan heard glass crash in the kitchen and was just in time to catch Haley as she fainted. For a moment he sat in silence with her head in his lap. He didn't understand why Haley had fainted. "Hales baby wake up." Her whispered. After shifting his wait her realized he was sitting in glass, that the whole floor was covered with scattered pieces of glass.

He picked her up from the floor and brought her back to the bedroom. He laid her down on the bed, propped her feet up and walked back into the kitchen to figure out what made her faint.

He had grabbed a broom and began to swipe all the pieces together, when he saw her phone on the floor. To pick up the phone, he put the broom aside squatted down.

He saw she'd dialed her voicemail and so he did the same thing, tracing her steps. With the phone to his ear he walked back into the bedroom and sat down on the bed next to Haley.

"Haley? Peyton was here she knows you're alive."

Nathan's deepest fear was coming true. Before long that guy would be standing on their doorstep demanding Haley back. He looked at the 'sleeping' form on the bed and dialed Brooke's number.

"Hey, sis."

"Hey, Nate. Is Haley there?"

"She passed out after hearing your voicemail." Nathan spoke his voice void of emotion.

"I'm sorry, is she okay?"

"She'll be fine. What did you tell her?"

"Nothing much. She traced our emails. I didn't see that coming. So I told her the truth. That Haley is still alive. She knew something was wrong so I had no choice."

"You had a choice, you couldn't just stick with reading the blog?"

"Haley wants to meet these people."

"I know. She told me."

"I didn't tell them where she is. But if you don't want them too, I suggest you tell her not to email or message Peyton over her blog. She'll trace it again."

"What do we do now."

"Nothing. We do nothing. You two enjoy life like nothing has changed. I'll deal with Peyton and when the time comes with that Derek guy."

"Thanks Brooke."

"You're welcome big brother."

"Can you believe, she had the nerve to call me on that?" Peyton fumed as she got out of the car and slammed the door shut as they had arrived at Derek and Haley's townhouse.

"Yes, I did too, didn't I?" John spoke calmly. He understood the frustration about it was mostly guilt towards Haley about it. "But Haley didn't even remember who he is! Or me for that matter!"

John caught up with her and put a hand on her shoulder. "Yes, but she know you're supposed to be her best friend and that Derek is her husband so all she needs to know is that her best friend slept with her husband, and that best friends aren't supposed to do that."

Peyton sighed. "that Brooke girl still had no right the throw that in my face." She took a deep breath and rang the doorbell.

Derek opened the door. John stared the man down for a bit. He had after all slept with his fiancée and therefore deduced her back to girlfriend. He looked much better than six months ago, yet not quite back to normal. Well that would soon be different.

"Peyton.. John. What are you doing here?" He asked. Probably clear on how awkward this was.

Peyton smiled brightly and hugged Derek, despite all the awkwardness. She hadn't spoke yet, but she was crying and smiling, she pulled away and look up at Derek with teary green eyes. "She's alive."

Derek frowned in confusion and took a step back as to say, 'come in'

As they settled in the living room Derek spoke. "What do you mean she's alive?"

"Exactly that. There were all these questions from this girl on my blog about Haley, and this girl she knew things of Haley and when the questions got stranger I.. I asked John to trace the emails and we found out that they were coming from this girl, Brooke, at Duke university in North Carolina."

Derek shook his head, refusing to believe Haley was alive before he saw concrete prove.

"We went to see this girl; Brooke Scott is her name. And after a lot of yelling at her she confessed to finding Haley when she washed up on the beach."

He had to lay head in his hands to process everything, Derek still was afraid to believe it was true.

"But if she found her then why isn't she here? Why didn't she come back? I assume she washed up on that beach six months ago, not?" His heart was racing, practically beating about of his heart. All tiny little bit of hope shone through at the chance that Haley wasn't dead and that she could come back to him. The possibilities suddenly endless again. And the shame for sleeping with Peyton worse than ever.

Peyton looked down, not wanting to squash that little bit of hope shining in his eyes. "Peyton?"

"She suffered memory loss in the accident. She doesn't remember us. She knows her name because of the necklace you gave her, she knows she's married to a Derek, because of her wedding ring. Other than that it's all haunches and … well what I told her through my email to this Brooke girl."

The light in Derek's eyes was gone again and all hope of having her back disappeared. "Have you seen her?"

Peyton shook her head, 'No" she said. "That Brooke girl, refused to tell us where she was." John nodded affirmative. "We stayed behind to see if she went anywhere, but all lights went out and she went to bed, I believe."

"So neither of you have evidence that she is actually alive? Accept for the word of this stalking girl?"

Peyton and John exchanged looks. "There is this picture of Haley and this Brooke girl together on a beach." Peyton said. "It's very recent. The girl said it was made this summer." Derek shook his head.

"No, the police said there was no chance she survived that accident. She can't be alive. This girl is sick and probably photo shopped Haley's face into the picture!"

Derek shot up from the couch and pace frantically through the room. "It's taken me months to accept Haley's gone. You can't just come here and tell me she's alive, without evidence!" He roared, steam practically coming from his ear.

Peyton got up and, though she eyed John carefully, she put her hand on Derek's shoulder to calm him down. "Didn't you say she called?" She reminded him. "You said you spoke to Haley on the phone. That it was her voice. Remember?" That made sense to Derek, but still e was weary to believe it to be true.

"Find her and I'll believe you." He spoke and then turned away from Peyton and John to leave to room completely. Peyton turned around and spoke: "That was too bad?"

"I'm so sorry Haley. I should have brought that with a little more tact. I'm such a blabber mouth. Are you sure you are okay?" Haley sat up in bed and rolled her eyes. "Yes Brookie. I'm fine. You took me off guard, but don't worry. Nathan has me on bed rest and he's enjoying it a little too much." Haley chuckled as she eyed Nathan massaging her feet that were propped up at a pillow. "Ow, he loves you, let him fawn." Brooke giggled. "Since I can't come to visit you any time soon and all."

Haley sighed. "Brooke maybe you should mail her. Let her know that you spoke with me but that I am not ready to meet them." Nathan's eyes looked briefly up from her feet and she smiled reassuringly at him. She needed him to now that knowing who she was didn't change her feelings for him.

"I did Haley. But Peyton says that Derek guy– " "ahem, husband." Brooke rolled her eyes.

"That guy, yes he doesn't believe you're alive. He insists on real evidence. Like we kidnapped you or something." Haley frowned.

"Kidnap me? You didn't say it was all free will?" Nathan frowned at Haley at the bits of the phone conversation Haley was having with Brooke, he caught onto. Haley stuck her tongue out, making a face, Nathan couldn't help but laugh at. She was too cute.

"Well, as long as they only hear from me and see none of you they have no actual proof that you're alive." Haley shrugged. "Their problem. It's not like I can help you. If I knew anything that could proof that I'm alive. I'd tell you, but as you know the memory loss thing was pretty thorough."

"I know sweetie, I was more thinking along the lines of you dying your hair purple and taking a picture of you with a national news paper."

Haley laughed. "Oh no that doesn't sound like I was kidnapped. You know what I'll call them. You can't trace phone calls that have already been placed. So especially not normal people. So I'll call you back in a bit. Love you sweetheart."

Nathan looked up and crawled up the bed towards Haley plopping down next to her. "Are you sure you should call them?" Haley smiled sympathetically, cupping his face before pulling him into a long sweet kiss. "Don't worry" She whispered. 'We'll be okay. I just know it."

She quickly looked up the phone number of Derek Summers, State of New Jersey, online and dialed the number, number on anonymous. She put it on speaker phone and waited as it rang. Nathan watched her movements nervously, so she squeezed his hand to reassure him. "This is Derek Summers." A voice answered.

Suddenly Haley remembered. She had heard the voice before, because she had called him before. When she had stormed out, upset she had outstayed her welcome, she had tried to call Brooke eventually, but had actually dialed her husband.

"Hi, It's Haley. Brooke told me you don't actually believe I'm alive because I didn't contact you. So I figured I should call…" She spoke not sure what else to say.

"Now you know. I'm not dead." Her eyes nervously met Nathan's, who was watching her like a hawk, afraid she might evaporate by only speaking to her husband.

"Oh my god. Haley baby? It's really you?" Nathan flinched

"Yes." She whispered. "God how many times I have dreamed that it was all just a nightmare. That you would come back to me. Now my dream has come true. You really have come back to me. Oh Baby, we have so many more great years ahead of us to live. We're gonna have that baby you wanted so badly, a whole bunch of them. A house full! God I'm so happy you're alive. Where are you, I'm coming to get you. We are gonna get you a doctor to see if you're okay and then –…"

"I'm not coming back to you." She whispered suddenly in the middle of his speech. She couldn't listen to this man getting his hopes up of getting his wife back. She wasn't that person.

"I want a divorce. I'm in love with someone else." Haley smiled and looked straight into a pair of glistering blue eyes. Nathan was crying at her confession of love for him, to her husband.

Haley pushed the call away and wrapped her arms around his neck, discarding the phone, launching herself at Nathan. "I love you." She whispered before she fussed her lips with Nathan's. Moving her lips in syc with his, not coming up for air until she absolutely had too. She was utterly, senselessly, head over heels in love with Nathan Scott. She knew she was a Scott, before she knew she had been a James.

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><p><strong>Whatch think?<strong>


	12. When the ball gets rollin'

**tada.. **

**your follow up. Naley lovers you're gonna love this!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 12. When the Ball gets rollin' and rollin' won't stop.<strong>

Derek was staring straight ahead. The words she spoke still ringing in his ears. It was lke his ears were bleeding like his eyes were crying. Never in his life he thought he'd hear Haley ask him for a divorce because she was in love with someone else.

When he married her, he had predicted, heck vowed, that only death could part them. So when she died that vow came true. Now that she turned out not to be dead, he could never have predicted that she would leave him anyway.

In love with someone else. Six months had she been gone and there she'd gone and fallen in love with another man. No wonder she wasn't at Duke university with that Brooke girl. She was probably cooped up somewhere cozy with that guy. And who was that guy. Nobody knew. Brooke refused to tell and Neither Peyton nor Jake had a clue as to who it could be.

Peyton was scanning through her email from Brooke, to see if she could find a clue as who the guy was. They were all convinced that find the guy was the key to finding Haley.

"But think Peyton. Was there a guy anywhere in what Brooke told you?" Peyton wracked her brain trying to remember, she had to remember. 'she went to Duke, she was popular, everyone could have used her laptop, Her brother went there!'

"Her Brother." Peyton shouted.

"Brooke has a brother." Peyton clarified. "He was with her when they found Haley. He looked after Haley over the 4th of July, when Brooke went out of town." Peyton recalled from what Brooke told them. Brooke's story had only gone as far as when Haley returned from having ran away, so it still didn't include where Haley went when Brooke went back to school.

"I can't believe I didn't think of that." She berated herself. "Did she mention a name by any chance?"

Peyton shook her head at Derek's question. "anything?" He pleadingly looked between John and Peyton. "Oh come on? Nothing? There has to be a way to figure out who Brooke brother is and where we can find him!"

Every other minute he was away from Haley was one too many. "Can we see in Duke records about previous attendants?" Peyton asked. "maybe alumni? She said he was popular. At place like that those are usually the jocks." As a family of Musicians Peyton John, Haley and Derek had always been they weren't big fans of jocks and sports.

John began to type away on his laptop, but quickly concluded that it wasn't possible without a Student ID. "So what _do_ we know about this guy?"

Peyton sat down on the couch in Derek's office where they had gathered. "His last name is probably Scott. Like Brooke's."

Peyton didn't know what else to do. She wished she had one of those photographic memories, that she had remembered every single bit in information from the last couple days.

She felt overwhelmed by guilt and hurt. She felt like she had lost her best friend twice. When she had heard about Haley's phone call to Derek she had been so surprised and relieved at the same time. Haley was really alive. But hearing that Haley was in love with someone else was a slap in the face after all she did to find her. Like it was ungrateful of Haley, to be wanting someone else after all the trouble she'd been through to bring her back to them.

"Nathan, on the back of that picture was something like: Haley and Brooke august something, love your brother Nathan." John suddenly said.

Derek nodded. "Nathan Scott, is the man that has my wife." It was impossible not to hear the vengeance in his voice.

John began typing away at his laptop again. His eyes widened as he realized who Nathan Scott was and why his name had been sounding so familiar. He was no sports fan, but he had heard of Nathan Scott. The guy was in every magazine one of his recording artists was is as well, fighting them for the front page scandal.

"The guy is a player and not just in Basketball." John muttered. "Basketball?" Derek asked.

"Yeah, the guy is point guard for the Charlotte Bobcats. So I'm guessing he lives in Charlotte." John shared. "But from what I've heard the guy, doesn't do steady. He gets around, like woman are a daily meal or something. A different one every night."

Derek jaw tightened as he clenched his teeth together. No way he was gonna let that guy hurt Haley.

"You think you can find his address?" John shook his head without looking up. It was no way Nathan Scott's home address was displayed online. "Can you call Haley back? If she knows we know with who she is she might just tell us." Peyton asked.

"No, call Brooke." Derek argued. "I don't want to frighten Haley."

"Haley is still Haley, she won't want a big deal. She'll just tell us. So we can talk this out face to face."

"No. She just told me she wants a divorce. I need to speak with her alone. If we plan an arrival with her, that douche bag is gonna be there."

"Found it." Both heads turned towards John as he waved around a piece of paper with a grin. "It's amazing what you can find on fans sites."

All three faces were grinning. "Were going to get Haley back.

'Oh Nathan!" Haley sang from the bedroom. It had been 36 hours since she fainted and still Nathan wouldn't let her leave the bedroom. Though she was sure he had an ulterior motive for keeping her cooped up in there. "Baby.. in three days you're leaving again.." she whined when Nathan didn't come. "I miss you. I can't miss you when you're inside the house. Then the void will kill me when you're gone!" She whined dramatically.

Eventually Nathan's head popped around the corner. "What is it that you want, my drama queen?" Haley scrunched her nose at the remark. Nathan could only thing that was the most adorable things she could do. "I'm not a drama queen." She faked the insult.

"If anyone is it's you, keeping me cooped up in here, for fainting!" She huffed. "and not even joining me in this big soft comfy bed." She exaggerated every word in a husky tone.

She summoned Nathan to the bed, where she pulled him down by the collar of his dress shirt. She had pouted when he even bothered to put it on this morning. Nathan sat down on the bed, his eyes locking with Haley's as she kept pulling him. Until their lips met, when they met, her arms snuck around his neck pulling him completely on top of her. Heat suddenly radiating from both their bodies. Nathan's lips worked frantically on her neck, his hot breath giving her goose bumps all over her body. She whimpered as she felt his hands sneak into her panties and begin the rub her center frantically electing moans from her. He plunged two fingers inside her and grinned against her neck. Soon she felt the warmth in her belly spread and arched her back as she climaxed. His name spilling from her lips like a mantra.

"Anything else I can do for you?" Nathan grinned as he lifted his head from the crook of her neck.

Haley was about to answer with some sultry remark when there was a knock on the door. "Mhh.." she moaned rubbing herself against Nathan's fingers that were still within her. "Ignore." She wasn't ready to let him leave already. Nathan was about to agreed when there was again knocking. Whoever was out there was incredibly impatient.

He withdrew his fingers and brought them to his lips with a cheeky grin. "Hmm, So good." He moaned as he sucked them clean, backing out of the bedroom.

"I'm so gonna return the favor as soon as you get rid of whoever is bothering us and that includes your sister!" She yelled.

Nathan grinned. God that girl had an appetite for sex. He would lie is he didn't say her loved it. The girl was.. hmm. Licking the lips he could still tasted her on, he opened the door.

He was looking expectantly at the two people standing there. A tall curly blonde and an sandy blonde guy holding hands. "How can I help." Nathan uttered as polite as possible to the people interrupting his Haley time. They could very well be fans and he was never rude to fans.

The blonde was glaring at him, she could probably even take out Brooke in a bitchy staring contest.

"We are looking for Haley." The man spoke calmly.

"Why" Nathan countered. He wasn't aware of the fact Haley had made any friends yet and furthermore she didn't have any.

"My name is John and this is my fiancée Peyton." The girl stopped glaring for a moment to smile at the man by her side before going back to glaring at him.

"Uhm, good for you? What does that have to do with Haley?" He already knew who these peole were/. He knew Brooke had said she's handle it, but the moment he heard that voicemail he knew that very soon they'd show up at his doorstep. They were coming to get Haley and take her away from him.

"I'm Haley's best friend. I'm coming to take her home to her husband. It's nice of you to keep her company but you know Haley belongs with us." Peyton snapped.

Nathan clenched his teeth together. He didn't like the bitch without her snapping now he couldn't stand her. 'She's not well right now. Come back some other time." He said as he took a step back to close the door.

In that moment a pair of short arms wrapped around his waist. "Hey baby, What taking you so long" she purred. Haley grinned fully intending to make clear they were interrupting, whoever they were.

"Haley.." Peyton breathed her name while tears flogged her sight.

An uncanny chill ran down Haley's back at hearing the voice call her name. She moved closer to Nathan and he wrapped his arms around her holding her tightly to his side. "Peyton." Haley acknowledged.

"Can we come in?" Peyton asked timidly. Haley looked up at Nathan and then back at Peyton before nodding. Nathan moved out of the way with Haley clutched to his side.

At this point is wasn't Nathan who was holding onto her, but the other way around. Haley was holding onto him afraid that if she let go, they'd take her away from the only home she knew.

As they got settled on the couch a silence settle over them.

"What do you want from me?" Haley asked her tone guarded and accusing.

"What we want? Haley we were terrified that you were dead. We thought we lost you forever! We wanted to see with our own eyes that you're alive!" Haley shook her head.

"That's not it. I called that Derek. To tell him I'm alive. Why can't you just leave it at that. If wanted to meet you I would have come looking for you wouldn't I?"

Nathan squeezed her hand reassuringly. "Baby, it's okay. You wanted to meet them. To set things straight remember." He pressed a kiss to her temple.

Peyton watched them with a disgusted look on her face. "Haley, Derek is dying to see you again. He was a mess for months when your disappeared."

Haley snorted. "yeah, I know. I read all about you people and your grief on your blog. Really I feel truly loved."

Peyton watched this girl that was such a different person from the person that drove off that bridge. She thought to have seen her Haley for a moment when she came to the door. But that haley vanished quickly once she introduced herself.

"Did you bring my passport, birth certificate, ID? I would really like to have my identity back."

Peyton's eyes shot up. "No. if you want your identity back, you have to come and get it. Same for your divorce. If you really want to turn for back on your husband, you do it to his face. You look into the eyes you vowed eternal love to and tell him. Don't hide out here pretending your life in perfect here. With this jock that probably only keeps your around the fuck you."

At that Haley's demeanor shifted. "Leave Nathan out of this. He and Brooke have nothing but good to me. They took me in when I had nowhere to go. When I was no one. They made me someone. I am Haley Scott. I'll always be."

She looked at Nathan and smiled as their eyes locked. She leaned in gently and pecked his lip.

Peyton couldn't help but scoff. "You've got her all wrapped around your finger don't you."

Haley got up and let go of Nathan's hand.

"I would like for you to leave our home. You are not welcome here. I suggest you fix your own love life before meddling in mine. I happen to be madly in Love with Nathan and he is with me. I am well aware of the fact that Derek is legally my husband. And I intend for that to end soon."

"I want to move on with my life. Start living." She reached out for Nathan and he came to stand beside her. "Now leave."

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><p>End of Chapter<p>

Love Philine,

Ps. don't forget to review with your thoughts and Ideas


	13. The Scary Stuff

**Oh.. The afteramth. I'm not going to say much because the chapter speaks for itself. It takes a bit of a radical turn. **

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><p><strong>Chapter 13. The Scary Stuff<strong>

Haley jumped up at the sound of a heavy knocking on the door. It was about two months since she sent Peyton away and Haley was fed up with the situation. She had refused to give Haley her Identity back, meaning passport ID card credit card of even report her found – what for some reason was impossible for Haley to do herself. It was like Peyton and Derek were holding it over her head as a way to blackmail her into coming home. Derek had called shortly after the incident say that her loved her, but that the accident obviously had damaged her badly and that therefore she wasn't capable of making her own decision such as filing for a divorce.  
>Nathan was in the shower he had just yesterday returned from a game halfway across the country and had slept in today.<br>She opened the door to come face to face with a delivery guy. "Mrs Summers?" The delivery guy asked.

An uneasy feeling was pooling in her stomach as the man regarded her as 'Mrs. Summers' instead of Scott. In everyday life she still went by the name of Scott.

"Yes, that's me."  
>"This is for you, could you sign here." The man held out an manila envelope out to her. "It's a court order." He informed her. "..Is Mr. Scott there?"<p>

"I'm here." Nathan said as he came up behind Haley wearing a towel around his waist, his hair wet.

"You have also been summoned Sir, would you sign here." Nathan scrabbled his name as did Haley and accepted the envelope, before closing the door. "What the hell would this be about?"

Haley sighed and sat down on the couch as she opened the envelope. "I has something to do with Derek, I just know it. The delivery guy asked for Mrs. Summers" She looked up at Nathan.

She pulled out the papers as her eyes scanned the paper. "You have been summoned… Blah blah. Questioning your mental stability, blah blah.. therefore blah blah.. put you under the executing care of the spouse, Mr. Summers. Blah blah."

"On be-freaking-lievable!" Haley uttered. "He's literally trying to take away my free will. How on earth in that possible. I lost my memory, not my brain."

As she stopped ranting as looked at Nathan. "I've been called to witness in your case." He had literally tears in his eyes. With one look Haley threw her arms around him. "I love you. Nothing will keep up apart. I promise." She told him and fused their lips together. To be completely honest Haley was far from certain about that. The idea that Derek was trying to take her independence from her scared her. It was bad enough she was legally attached to someone she didn't know, but for someone she didn't know to be making the decisions about her life? Nathan was the only sure thing she had. The fact that someone could take that away from her, it was earth shaking.

Nathan withdrew from their kiss and found an absently minded Haley, staring into space with glazy eyes. "Hales?" he shook her for her attention and smiled up at her as her eyes found his.

"Hey" She whispered. "It's gonna be okay, Hales. I'm gonna hire the best damn lawyer there is and we are going to win this case. We are gonna win and get you your divorce and then I'm gonna marry you and we are gonna fill the entire beach house with kids." Haley giggled and buried her head in his neck. 'You are too sweet. I want that. All of it." With tears in her eyes she leaned up and brought her lips to his. They moved their lips together slowly and softly, till Haley ran her tongue over Nathan's bottom lip. Nathan parted his lips, allowing her tongue entrance and cupped her face pulling her in. Running her hand through Nathan's thick black hair she drew him in. She needed to feel close to him.  
>She knew Nathan needed this as much as she did. Be together for as long as they could, for as long as it would last. Hands wandered and breathy gasps of air filled the room as the couple attempted to forget about their misery and just love. Soon gasps of air became moans of pleasure as wandering hands became thrusting body parts. Haley moaned in deep pleasure in the final thrust and climaxed, writhing under Nathan's body they lay slick with sweat.<p>

Exhausted, physically and emotionally, she cuddled up to Nathan, closing her eyes and shutting the world out. She loved Nathan anyone could see that.

A few days later the first hearing was already there. Today she would be meeting Derek for the first time – For as far as she remembered. She had honestly no idea what to expect from the man, what kind of taste in men old Haley had. She hope the man was blond and brown eyed. It might make proving that she was a different person all together easier, plus Nathan would freak if he turned out to be a replica of the man she originally married. That would definitely freak him out her too probably. Nathan was much less tough than people would think. She liked that. He was all strong and protecting on the outside, but a true softy on the inside.

When Peyton came along telling him he was nothing but bad for Haley. It was the last thing he needed to hear. She didn't get it. Nobody understood. Nathan was a fragile soul. Beneath all of the BS, he was incredibly insecure. She hated that something or someone had done that to him.

After Peyton and John had left, she'd spoke to Nathan about it. It was true. She kind of already knew, Brooke's stories about the man hadn't ever been anything but unpleasant, but she never realized what kind of impact he had made on Nathan.

Dan, his father, had always made him feel like we wasn't worth a thing. Like he'd never be good enough for anything, in anything, for anyone. She got so mad thinking of what that man had done to his self esteem.

She and Nathan walked into the courthouse. Nathan had his arm wrapped around her waist and Haley had plunged her hand in his back pocket. As they saw Peyton and John, Nathan pulled her closer and Haley leaned into his shoulder. 'Be strong' Nathan whispered. "I love you."

Looking up at the People standing outside the courtroom, Haley took a deep breath. She withdrew her hand from his pocket and took his hand. "I love you too Nate." She whispered back, lifting his hand to her lips. They came to a halt in front of the three.

The dark haired man besides John, look delighted to see her. She assumed he was Derek. The man wore a dark suit with matching tie and seemed well kept overall. He was smiling widely and reached out to Haley immediately. Haley flinched and took a step back. "Haley, god it's so good to see you." His eyes became teary and the smile grew.

She wondered if she just smiled at the man instead of flinching because he was smiling still!

"I assume you are Derek." She spoke formally. "Yes! I'm your husband. God Haley. You have no idea how good it is to see you here standing alive. I never thought I'd see the day."

Every time he approached her, she stepped away and clung to Nathan. she felt bad for the man that he had to lose her twice, but she couldn't help it and she wasn't going to sacrifice her life for someone, anyone, to be happy.  
>"I'm sorry, for all the pain I've cost you, but this isn't right. I've lost my memory and I don't think it's coming back. Don't try to make me something I'm not anymore." She looked away and at Nathan. "I love Nathan. It's all I know and It's what I want, it's what makes me happy." She said smiling. She reached up to peck her lovers lips sweetly.<p>

"Haley!" a cheery voice called from behind and she twirled around to find Brooke running towards her. "Brookie!" She hugged Brooke tightly. She hadn't seen Brooke in a while and missed her friend.

"Hey, Sis." Nathan greeted her. "I'm totally here for moral support Hales." Brooke bounced. "We wouldn't let you go that easily. She grinned and stuck her tongue out at the other three people in the room. Those could only grimace at the scene.

They were from ready to give Haley up convince that her memory could come back and that she'd want to come back to them. Their lawyers joined them saying the judge was ready for them and they filled into the courtroom.

Haley took a deep breath to steady her nerves and squeezed Nathan hand, attempting to release some of the tension in her body. Nathan leaned his head against her, needing to feel and smell her. The scent was sweet and comforting, he couldn't lose her.

HE hadn't said it aloud but this was exactly what he was afraid of when he admitted his love her Haley. That her husband would come and find her. And eventually take her away from him, leaving him broken hearted.

Haley felt the straining muscles in his arm and hand as she clung to them and leaned into her mate as he pulled her close. Nathan kissed her temple as they both sat and waited for the Judge to come out.  
>Brooke sat one row back, as her heart broke for her brother. She knew how much he loved Haley and how insecure he'd always been about having her, that this must be eating away at him. It was like Romeo and Julliet, being kept apart by her family.<p>

On the other side of the courtroom aisle, Derek sat in quiet conversation with his lawyer as his eyes kept sliding over to Haley. Mere months ago she was his wife and they were so happily married. They had a home and they wanted kids and they had everything anyone could ever hope for. Now he was looking at her for the first time since she walked out that door with that silly grin on her face to her car. Still as gorgeous as she'd always been. But now cuddled up against a hulk of a man, a jock, exchanging sweet gestures like a hand squeeze and a kiss on the temple. It was such a strange feeling, the familiarity of the woman he'd loved and cherished for so long and the odd setting her was watching her in right now. It seemed so out of place.

His lawyer shook him out of his thoughts as the judge entered and they rose.

Most of it was legal mumbo jumbo Brooke knew nothing about, but she got the part where Derek and his lawyer made their plea:

"Your Honor, my client filed for legal custody of his wife Haley Summers, due to the radical behavior as caused by the accident she was in June. We have a neurologist who confirms that the memory loss Mrs. Summers is experiencing, may be a symptom of a more serious brain injury this makes her decisions uncalled for. Because she lost her memory has a hard time trusting people and is she leaning very much on the people she does think to know. Mr. Summers is afraid people will take advantage of his wife and that's why we think it's best if Mrs. Summers comes under my client's supervision. He only has his wife's best interest at heart."

Haley was seething, how it was possible that the man could so calmly could claim her incapable of taking care of herself. There was nothing wrong with her!

"Ehm, Your Honor? I represent Ms. James, as she would like to be called, she called me herself after receiving a letter where Mr. Summers threatened to take her free will from her. Does that sound like a woman suffering from a brain injury, incapable of making adequate decisions? No! Also Mr. Mcleave (Derek's lawyer) conveniently left out that Ms. James asked for a divorce recently. Ms. James has been aware of her roots for a while now and has aside from some covert email contact with her former best friend Ms. Sawyer, never attempted to let her husband know she's still alive." Her lawyer said and took a sip of his water before continuing.

"This, request for legal custody is a feint attempt of Mr. Summers to hold onto his wife. And although we all feel for his loss, it's no reason to put my client to a life of submission to a man she doesn't know. Until two minutes before this hearing, Your Honor, my client never lead eyes on Mr. Summers before!"

"I object to that Your honor, Mrs. Summers is Married to my client, wedding pictures alone proves she had known this man for the past two years!" Mr. Mcleave interjected.

'Your Honor, my client doesn't remember that! He is as new to her and you are!'

Her lawyer was silent for a bit and then continued as before. "Your Honor, My client has been through a lot. She has lost her memory and all security she had. She was found and taken care of by good people and with that she has been very lucky. Now she has her life back on track, she's in love she's has friends and she's happy. All she needs is a divorce from the man she doesn't know, to be free, to get a job and to marry the man she does know and love. In short Your Honor, there is nothing wrong with Ms. James brain. So she doesn't remember, it's sad but not terrible, Mr. Scott and his sister Ms. Scott took her to the hospital when they found her checked her out, with complete neuro exam which came back clear. According to the doctor that Actually looked at Ms. James, unlike Mr. Summers' 'specialist' she is healthy is every possible way."

Haley released a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. He brought the story across perfectly well. That judge could see she was fine.

"Councelman, do you have those medical records from her hospital visit in June?" The judge asked, the woman looked somewhat skeptical.

"Yes Your Honor." He handed it over and sat back down. He leaned over to her and said: "You have a strong case they have nothing."

The judge looked at the records and then back at Haley. "What do you have to say Ms. James? Do you honestly think you are fine? You don't think spending time with your husband might bring back memories? Happy Memories. Mr. Summers claims you two were very much in love."

Haley looked over the aisle at Derek and Peyton. "You don't know what it is like to know nothing. To just opened your eyes one day and not know anything. Imagine you one day opening your eyes and standing in an operating room with scalpel in your hand and and open patient in front of you and people expecting your to save that person's life while you don't know anything about medicine. But still that person is dying. So you have to do something! You try." Haley eyes teared up.

"It's scary. And lonely. And it feels like the world is closing in on you and all you know is that you wanna close your eyes again just go back, even thought back is nothingness. You just what the world to swallow you. Disappear."

She looked over at Nathan and smiled. "I've exchanged letters and gathered information about myself with someone that used to be my best friend.  
>I didn't remember any of it. I know that the person she described is me.<br>I recognize me.

I read on her blog that she had a month's long an affair with the man who now claims to love me so much and have missed me.  
>I spent days hiding from Brooke because she can be overbearing and months avoiding my feelings for Nathan, because I didn't wanna get hurt leaving him as I got my memory back and found my family.<p>

And at some point I just gave up. It doesn't matter what I had, it's in the past and I'm pretty sure it's staying there. I … I am living here, now.  
>And I've started over. How many people get to do that. I'm gonna figure out what to do with my life.<p>

I'm aware of how happy I used to be, but I'm just as blissfully happy now. And that's okay.

I love Nathan and I'm gonna marry Nathan some day and I'm gonna be his beautiful baby sister's maid of honor once that knuckle head of a boyfriend of hers realizes he was a goner from day one.  
>I know that. So forcing me to live with people I don't know, barely met, highly dislike and already caused a lot of pain, isn't gonna help.<p>

Not me. Not them. Not anyone. So try if you think it's necessary, but you'd be only hurting people."

Haley sat down immediately clutching Nathan's hand. She was so fed up with the situation. She just wanted her life back. Didn't they see she was the victim here and that what she wanted should go?

"Well, I'll take all of this into serious consideration, I am adjourning this hearing until 3 pm. Tomorrow." The judge spoke and then closed the hearing, leaving the courtroom.

Haley sighed and wrapped her arms around Nathan, scared of what was ahead. It was frightening to think the judge could just tell her to move across the country with people she didn't know. It scared her. "Let's go home, Babe." Nathan said firmly, wrapping an arm around her and kissing the top of her head. She looked up at him longingly: 'yeah, Let's go. I'm starving for some us-time and some fast food." A mischievous grin spread across her face. They walked down the aisle out of the courtroom Haley reaching a hand out the Brooke pulling her along.

"You wanna come grab some food, Brooke?" Haley asked.

Nathan pulled Haley and kissed her head and her ear, biting slowly down on her earlobe, whispering in it. "Alone time remember babe. You, me, hot tube, glass of champagne?" he growled.

Haley giggled and Brooke huffed in disgust. "Oh I get it, go shack up you two. Be happy. I'll snuggle away in Lucas' bed." She grinned as her brother shot her a disapproving look. "Maybe we should take Brooke." Nathan amended. "Oh no, Lover boy. You promised hot tub and champagne." Haley grinned.

"Sorry Brooke. Get your own guy."

Latching onto his hand Haley was on her way out the courthouse and Derek called out to her. "hey baby." When she was unresponsive to that, he clarified to get her attention. "Haley!"

She turned around in Nathan's arms as she looked over her shoulder to see what he wanted. "haley?"

"What do you want?"

Derek had watched Haley as she made her plea with the judge. Her description of her memory loss was moving. And he realized real well that this was tough on her, but he couldn't just let her go. She was his everything. They were this young couple in love and newly wed, considering starting a family. The love of his life. And all of the sudden he had to deal with the excruciating pain of losing the love of his life. Now that she wasn't dead he could imagining just letting her go with some other guy. He needed her.

When she got up, he watched her move into that guy's arms and flirt with him. It made his stomach turn. She still felt like his. It was like watching her cheat on him, the pain was gut wrenching.

The guy kept using 'Babe' as a pet name for her, which he considered such an objectification of a woman. Sure he used 'baby' as a pet name, but that was lovingly.

He didn't like Nathan Scott, one bit. The guy was all women constantly and in his mind he was taking advantage of Haley's dependence on him.

He had to get through to her. As he watched her walk out of the courthouse he couldn't let her walk away to .. to that love shack with the guy. He loved her too much for that.

So her called out for her.

'Maybe, we could all go out to dinner together? So you can get to know me and I get know this you."

She was quiet, obviously considering it. "I don't think so. I have had enough of you people. For people that claim to love me you are awfully good at hurting me!"

Nathan wrapped his arms around her from behind. "Babe, calm down. He only means well. Imagine what it would be like if, I hated you and didn't remember you was in love with someone else."

Haley relented. She knew Nathan was right, he didn't chose the situation either, not completely anyway. "Fine. We'll go to dinner. But I don't want charity or hovering or any of that."

Derek grinned widely. "Great, there's a great restaurant a few blocks away. We'll get some food there."

Now, an hour later Derek began to wonder why he thought this was a good idea in the first place. Though they had started off with questions about her life. He really wanted to know what her life looked like living in Charlotte with Nathan, partly so it could be used to their advantage in court. But also he wanted to know what had happened in those months he missed how on earth she fell in love with Nathan.

Peyton seemed to be enjoying herself. Mostly just happy to be in her best friends life. After all Haley wasn't trying to divorce her. But anyway that conversation directly led to a mushy, flirtatious banter between Nathan and Haley. And now they were merely making out, nothing further.

He couldn't stand watching the guy sticking his tongue down his wife's throat, it was offensive.

'Stop it!" he burst out, slamming his first to the table. Haley reculant pulled away, barely shaken by the outburst.

"What? You're gonna have to face it some time that I'm with Nathan!"

Derek fumed: "But you're not. It's about time that got through to you!"

Haley got up grabbed her purse and pulled Nathan by his arm. "Come, Baby. We're going home."

As they arrived Home Haley gripped his lapels on his tux and pulled him in.  
>She lowered her lips to his earlobe and grasped it with her teeth. She could felt Nathan growing hard against her, so she decided to add to it a little more.<p>

She slipped her tongue out and ran it over the edge of his ear. "Wanna do something private…?" She whispered, dragging the words. She knotted his dress shirt in her hands holding him close to her, so she could feel his heart jump at her proposition.

"definitely…" he growled and grabbed her hand. He pulled her along to the back of the house. He pushed the door to the bedroom open and swung her with a little force into the bedroom without letting go of her hand. He slammed the door shut and then swung her up against it.

As he had her pressed against the door and leaned in to kiss her. Haley was slightly taken aback by the action but quickly recovered as she saw where Nathan thoughts were at. She grabbed his chin to stop him. "I didn't think so mister." She breathed and she flipped them pushing him up against the door, before turning around and sitting down on the bed. 'Oh come sit with me Nate." She purred. She'd flipped the switch, she needed an outlet for all of the pending frustration.

Haley grinned sat up to straddle him, while she untied the string in her neck that held her top together. The top fell from her chest revealing a halter bra that cupped her breasts perfectly. Nathan's mouth was slightly agape taken by the moment. He, soon began to ran his fingers over her bare sides and back. Over her neck to cup her face again trying to kiss her.

As Haley was reeling in the moment and the sensation that Nathan's fingers brought on her, she gave in. She laced her lips with his, moving them softly over his. The urge to taste more of him became bigger and bigger and her hands wonder off into his hair, scraping his scalp with her nails to get a rise out of him. Nathan ran his tongue over her bottom lip and Haley met his tongue, opening her mouth. Their tongue moved past each other, exploring unfamiliar grounds. Nathan rubbed his thumb against the skin of her stomach and the rest of his fingers gripped her lower back, pressing her down onto his lap.

Haley felt his obvious excitement poking into her from below and grinded down as a way of teasing him. Nathan growled at her action, getting only harder and ran his hands up her back unhooking her bra before she knew it. As she pulled away her eyes locked with his and the utter desire burning in them had her change her mind, or made her forget.

She snug her hands around his neck slamming their lips together again and reuniting their tongues.

She rubbed her chest against his in need of friction. Nathan growled gripping her more tightly as he sought the same kinda friction.

Haley could taste blood, not sure whether it was hers of his. She then took a hold of Nathan's belt and undid it, popping the button too. "Damn.."Nathan breathed pulling away from the girl as he felt her tiny hands work his pants.

She grinned and stood up pulling them from his body. Haley bit her lip, bubbing her left breast to seduce Nathan.

The tent in Nathan's boxers couldn't be bigger otherwise it had surely grown at the sight of Haley rubbing her own nipples. Before she sat back down she undid her own jeans too, leaving her in nothing but a pair of black cotton panties.

At that Nathan automatically reached for her pulling her back into his lap. He leaned in capturing her right nipple with his mouth sucking it, grazing his teeth over it. The action elicited moans from Haley he was sure they could hear three apartment down. He ran his hands over her thighs and grazed his fingers over her panties covered centre. She was wet, sure enough leaking onto his boxers.

Before moving the panties and dipping a finger in, Nathan looked up at Haley enthralled; Her kinked back her chest prodded to his face. Her mouth slightly agape.

God he wanted her. He had her. Derek would never have like he did. Not anymore. He could take her right there.

"do it." She whimpered. So he did, taking her other nipple in his mouth and dipping his finger in her incredibly wet depths. Quickly adding a second and a third. Haley breath picked up and accelerated quickly.

"I want all of you." She moaned.

So he flipped them, ridding himself of the boxers and sliding into her. He groaned at her tightness, She moaned urging him to move. "Now move." She moaned. That was all the encouragement he needed.

After a bit he picked up his pace.

Nathan groaned and watched enthralled as her body arched and his name spilled from her lips as she climaxed. Still moving frantically to get there as well. Though not much was needed after watching her drift off into oblivion.

As they collapsed on the bed they let their breath even out. "God I needed that!" Haley groaned and rolled up against his heaving chest. "Me too, babe."

Then Nathan felt a wetness on his chest and saw tears rolling off her face onto his chest. "I'm so .. so Scared, Nathan." She sobbed. The sight of the crying sobbing girl tucked at his heart. He loved this girl. He wrapped her up in his arms and pulled the blankets up around them. He smoothed as she continued to cry till she eventually cried herself to sleep. He just held her hoping it offered some comfort during the distraught she was experiencing.

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><p><strong>Review.. I know you want to!<strong>


	14. Grasping at straws

**Hey, i know it's been a long time I've been pretty busy because I'm graduating in June so..  
>Anyway here's a chapter Enjoy!<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 14. Grasping at straws<strong>

"I think it be wise to have a trial period. I suffice Mr. Summers with temporary custody over Miss James. Even though I can see Ms. James thinks she's better off on her own en with the Scotts. I would hate for to miss the opportunity to get her old life back. Therefore I think it would be wise for her to live with Mr. Summers for awhile. If nothing changes than Ms. James can make on own decisions. But we'll gather for than again it three months."

Haley felt rocks sink in her stomach and tears roll over her cheeks as she numbly clung to Nathan. Nathan's arms enveloped her in a hug.

He attempted to hide his pain and tried to be strong for Haley. "It's going to be fine. I'll visit, promise, and we'll write and call and the three months will be over in no time." He whispered. Haley wrapped her arms around his neck. "I love you." She said, not bothering to lower her voice.

"Come on Haley time to go." Derek barked.

"I have nothing with me. I have to go home to pack first." Haley snapped, before fusing her lips with Nathan's again. If he wanted custody and bark her around, then he would get the child that comes with it. She wasn't his wife and she was dead set on acting like his rebellious teenage daughter rather than his wife.

'Sweety, I have all your stuff at home. Everything is there and we'll get your toiletries on the way, now come on."

Nathan detached his lips from Haley and turn to face Derek. "Dude, You're going to pull her away from everything she's ever known and you won't even let her take her own stuff with her? What kinda monster are you?"

Nathan and Haley got up and Haley went to hug Brooke. "Okay, fine you can grab your stuff at his place on the way home now come on." Derek urged.

"No way, I'm gonna take her home and then you can pick her up in an hour at our place."

Haley smiled at the way he called his penthouse_ their_ home. "And give you a chance to pack your stuff and leave? Now way."

Haley returned to Nathan's side and he kissed her temple. "Fine, you can follow use there and wait for her while she packs." Nathan conceded.

He took Haley's hand in his own and lead her outside, before Derek could get a word in. Once she was strapped into his car he looked at her. "How does Alabama sound?" he joked awkwardly.

Haley looked up at him and squeezed the hand she was holding. "Home." She said. He nodded in disappointment. At some level he'd hoped she'd want to run. 'Hey, I'm gonna have to proof I'm a capable adult. Therefore I need to act like one. Running isn't going to help our cause."

Nathan parked the car in the parking garage underneath the building and they got out. For a moment he took advantage of their moment alone to hold her. He held her close, enveloping her in a hug. Haley buried her face in his chest, sniffing up his scent. It felt familiar and comforting. "I love you." She whispered. "That's not going to change. I love you so much."

Nathan just held her. He needed to feel her petite frame safely wrapped in his arms against his body. He literally had a hard time letting go.

Haley pulled back a little not getting a lot of space from Nathan, but just enough her reach up and touch her lips to his. Just enough to run her hand over his chest as leverage.

"I'll visit you as much as possible. Whether he likes it or not." Nathan muttered, between kissed.

He pushed her slightly up against the car and let his hands wander over her body. Feeling every single inch of her, while his tongue delft into her mouth, tasting every corner. Every extra moment wasn't gonna be long enough. Panting, Haley pulled away, her hands against his chest to force some distance. "We should go upstairs." Nathan sighed and wrapped one arm around her. "You're right." He muttered.

They took the elevator upstairs where Derek and Peyton where impatiently waiting for them. "Finally what the hell took you two so long?" Derek asked frustrated.

"We needed a moment." Haley spoke calmly.

Nathan unlocked the door and lead Haley inside. He tempted to close the door in Derek's face, but he wouldn't have it so he followed them in.

Derek looked around the penthouse of the basketball star. He'd expected it to be modern en design and black en white, but instead it was very much a home.

The walls were pastel pinkish color, very Haley, and the furniture was deep brown with big fluffy pillows. Haley kissed Nathan's cheek before she left them alone to pack her stuff.

Derek sat down on the couch and saw a picture of Haley and Nathan and Brooke at the beach. A wide smile spread across her face and her beautiful brown eyes sparkled. The next picture what with some people he didn't know, but Nathan was there somewhere among them. There was also one of Brooke and Haley hugging, one of two older people he both didn't know and some more photo's that didn't contain Haley, but more of the people from the second photo.

The last one was one of Haley with Nathan. Where Nathan was holding Haley. She was standing in front of him and he had her arms wrapped around her. She was leaning into him and they were smiling at each other. "whether you want to believe it or not, We do love each other. That isn't gonna change. Not even when she gets her memory back."

"but then she knows who she loves more and you don't know how Happy Haley and I were. For a long time. You barely know her a bunch of months altogether."

"If she remembers." Nathan put the picture frame back on the table and walked to his bedroom.

Derek got up to follow but this time Nathan got the door closed and locked before Derek reached it.

Haley was sitting on their bed, staring at their closet. "you okay babe?" Nathan asked and came to sit next to her. He wrapped an arm over her shoulder and she leaned against him. "I don't know what to pack." She whispered.

"Just pack everything you see yourself wear in the next three months and there rest he can buy for you." Haley felt like she was about to break. She really didn't want to leave Nathan. She had enough trouble with letting him go when he went on the road, this was so much worse. She needed to hold him. Feel him against her. Smell his familiar scent, hear his voice and she never wanted to let go. It hurt. The thought of having to leave him hurt.

Pulled her up from the bed and walked her to the closet. Together they sorted out her clothes. What she would take and what not and what pieces he refused to let her take – the lingerie.

They had a laugh and when her suitcase was full they kissed. She grabbed her purse and check if her had everything. Phone, wallet, keys; she was keeping nathan's keys so she could always go back to Nathan. the rest of her stuff she'd put in her suitcase and then Nathan handed her something.

She looked at the piece of paper in her hand; it was a picture. A small picture of them both of them taken just weeks before Derek and Peyton showed up. She smiled. 'Thank you."

"I'm not gonna hug you again, because I know I'll never let you go." She whispered before picking her suitcase off the bed and grabbing her purse. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, Hales. I'll see you soon." She unlocked the door and pulled her suitcase out behind her. Derek jumped up when he saw her. "you ready, sweetie?"

Haley put her suitcase down held her hand up to stop him. "let me make some things clear. I'm not your Sweetie, sweetheart, babe of baby of whatever other petname you can think of. It's Haley. I'm not sharing abed with you and I want my own bedroom. I want you to leave me alone when I ask you to and I do not want any pathetic trips down a memory lane I don't remember.

I want no hovering. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I want you to get me my passport and update me on my administrational and financial situation and I Do not. Do Not. Want you to think that were not eventually getting that divorce. I'm I love with Nathan.

So shall we go?"

Derek muttered something under his breath and nodded as she finished her rant.

Peyton opened the door and Haley turned back once to look at Nathan. She took a deep breath and walked back to him she carefully leaned up and pecked him sweetly on the lips. "I love you." She savored his taste on her tongue as she pulled away. "Say good bye to Brooke for me."

Nathan nodded and waved her good bye as she backed away. Too afraid to touch her. Once her got a hold of her he would never let her go.

As the car turned into a wide drive way, Haley saw several people standing in their yards watching as they came to a stop in front of the house.

"and?" Derek looked at her hopefully. Hoping the house brought back memories. "If you're gonna do this every time, you're gonna get disappointed a lot." Haley rolled her eyes and opened her car door.

Derek exchanged looks with Peyton and sighed before getting out himself.

Haley had already grabbed her suitcase and was looking around the yard and the street, staring back at the people that were staring at her. "Hey everyone!" She waved, like she was saying 'hi' to people she knew. Once they al started waving back she realized she had probably been a well liked and respected member of the community here before she disappeared.

"Oh come one Haley. You can say hi to the neighbors some other time. We've got time." Derek tried to usher her inside.

'Oh I don't know, Derek. Three months is not a lot of time and you're not the only one who had to miss me.."

Derek clenched his jaw and pushed her inside the house annoyed with her attitude.

Peyton and Derek said good bye and Peyton left for the airport. John had taken a direct flight home and Peyton would come once Haley was home safely.

Derek slammed the door shut and Haley plopped down on the couch. "nice and comfy this couch.." she mused.

'That's enough. I am not having any of this any this anymore. If you want to act like a spoiled teenager that's fine by me, but that not gonna help you proof you are a capable adult."

"Like you want me to proof that and I was actually going for rebellious teenager." Derek groaned. He pulled her up by her arm. 'get up!"

"what do you want from me Derek? Do you really want me to pretend to be the Haley from before the accident? Do you really? Because I'm not that girl anymore."

Derek pulled her upstairs by her arm without replying. "This is our bedroom." He threw her suitcase on the bed. You be staying here and you'll be staying here with me. This is your home and I really wish you would stop fighting it." His tone softened towards the end. "I love you Haley and I've missed you." He cupped her face and looked her in the eye. "and I just want us to get back to normal."

Haley pulled away and sat down on the bed. "I want that too. But I don't think this is the way. I'm not who I used to be. So our marriage is no longer what it was." She patted the bed next to her.

'If you want me to be your wife, then you should at least give me the chance to make it genuine. I don't remember you and to be quite honest right now I don't see a man I see myself marry. So either I've changed quite a bit or you have. Either way this isn't gonna work like this."

She pulled her suitcase off the bed and pulled it out of the room. She pushed open a door to find an empty bedroom. She decided that would do.

She began to unpack her clothes and then locked the bedroom door and went downstairs.

She looked around the house. Finding pictures of herself all over the house was slightly unnerving. The realization that a stranger had a house full of pictures of her, would be unnerving to anyone. She came across her wedding photo in the sunroom and even though she hoped that it would do something for her. It didn't. It just looked strange and felt unfamiliar. "You looked so gorgeous that day. I remember seeing you walk down that aisle all smiles and that naughty grin playing on your lips." Haley watched him smile at the memory. For a moment she saw a glimpse of familiarity. It triggered a familiar feeling when he smiled like that. She thought about Nathan, but Nathan face for that emotion was different. It was Derek's.

She stared at the picture for a bit. She looked really happy, the girl, she looked like she was experiencing the best day of her life. 'You really were happy Hales. We were happy.

Haley nodded. "I don't doubt it, Derek. I just don't remember."

"I have a video of our wedding somewhere, John made one."Derek walked into the living room and disappeared. Haley didn't have the heart to tell him no, even though she really didn't want to see it.

So she decided to grab her purse and text Nathan. She missed him. It had been less than twenty four hours since she last saw him.

"Hey, baby. Got settled, Bed's so empty without you." She texted him. She went to sit in one of the lounge chairs in the sunroom while she texted Nathan.

"Same here. I miss you babe. He's not forcing stuff on you?"

Haley smiled at his concern. "No, not really. He's very eager. I feel bad raining on his parade."

She stared out the windows into the beautiful garden behind the house. She could see herself live here. Or at least she could understand she once thought that this was her perfect house.

"I don't mind. Whatever gets you home fastest." She pushed her hair behind her ear and chuckled, speaking of eager.

It was gonna be a long three months, but somewhere she knew that she needed to do these things to get a real life.

"Found it! Hales? Are you gonna come watch this with me?" Derek walked into the sunroom with a dvd in his hand. "Nah, not now." She mumbled.

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><p><strong>So waht did you think? Let me know**


	15. The Old and The New

**here another chapter!  
>I know you're gonna like this one! <strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 15. The Old and the New<strong>

About six weeks ago Haley moved in with Derek. Since that day she'd been upset, angry, sad and happy.

She had felt a whole lot of bad, for Derek and till this day she refused to watch the wedding video, but she had sat through a photo album after photo album. Nathan had gone back on the road so it had become incredibly hard to get a hold of him. Especially since he'd called in the middle of one of Derek photo album and Derek talked through the entire phone call about how happy they had been in that particular photo. She had a feeling he'd just started call less and less after that.

She texted him again. "hey, Baby. Woke up thinking about you this morning. In that one moment before you realize that you're awake it felt like you were there lying beside me. I miss you now even more. Nothing on my memory so far, I was kinda hoping it would trigger at least something. Even if it was just kindergarten or High school you know, my parents.. anyway Love you, call me!"

She hadn't actually spoken to him in two weeks. She spoke to Brooke about three times a week. Brooke told her Nathan had been very withdrawn. She knew that Nathan, it was the Nathan he'd been after the 4th of July and after they kissed after seeing Brooke off. It was vulnerable Nathan. When he was hurting. She hated that this was doing that to him. She needed to see him.

Haley drove a brush through her hair and smiled in the mirror.

Walking down the stairs he heard and couple of voices at the door. She dug into the kitchen afraid it was more worrying neighbors or friends she didn't remember. Apparently she had a lot of those!

But as she opened the fridge to grab breakfast she heard a voice that sounded oddly familiar. That didn't happen very often since she didn't remember a lot of people.

She peaked her head around the corner of the kitchen door and squealed. "Mom!" She exclaimed and jumped her mother around her neck. Her mother immediately enveloped her in a hug and squeezed her tightly.

When she pulled away her mother had tears in her eyes. "You remember me?" her parents held their distance so far at request of Derek. Hoping that she would remember stuff and that the visit would be less difficult.

"No." Haley blurted out. "I guess I just knew." After that she hugged her dad, who wouldn't let her go.

"It's so good to see familiar faces." She grinned, where after her smile dissolved and she looked away sadly. "Hey, It's gonna be okay sweetie. Don't worry." Her parents held her for a moment.

They lead her into the sunroom where she sat down. Derek went to sit next to her and wrapped an arm around her to comfort her. Haley shrugged it off, feeling even more uncomfortable when Derek was around. "uhm can you give us a moment."

Derek looked somewhat disappointed, but pulled away and left the room.

"I take it it's not going very well." Haley shrugged. "We've had all the pleasantries. I don't remember anything and he can't stop trying. And even without the memories I don't feel what according to everything and everyone else I used to feel. I haven't fallen in love with him all over again. I mean I try to make my time here as pleasant as possible, but the feeling just isn't there.

And lately I'm mostly feeling sad and scared…"

Her mother patted her leg. "Derek told us your living arrangement are reevaluated in two months?"

Haley nodded. "Yeah.. the judge thought it be better if I lived with Derek for awhile to see if it triggered anything, but it hasn't. It has given me some time to clear up a couple of things with Derek. You know my work my financials and other administrative stuff."

"Uhhm, but where are you going to live after those months are up. You have nowhere to go."Her dad asked concerned. "Is it wise to leave. He gives you security."

Haley head shot up at the question. "He didn't tell you?"

"Told us what sweetie?"

Haley sat up and pulled her phone from her pocket. "I'm going back to Nathan." She mother began to smile instantly.

A mother could recognize the smiles of her daughter. Especially the 'I'm in love smile."

"Nathan huh? How did you meet?"

Haley smiled happily. "He and his sister found me after the accident and took care of me. Mostly Brooke at first, though she was a little overbearing. After she went on holiday with her boyfriend and after that back to College Nathan took care of me." She sighed sadly after she finished.

'What's wrong?"

Haley looked up at her parents. "He doesn't call me back. I haven't spoken to him in two weeks. Plus he promised to visit and I miss him so much."

"Maybe he moved on with his life Haley. He kind of put it on hold to take care of you." Derek pitched in as he came in with tea.

"That's bullshit and you know it. He loves me. He's just having a hard time with the separation." Lydia hugged her daughter. "tell me more about this boy."

Haley showed her mother a couple of pictures of Nathan and Brooke and their friends in Tree hill and told them all about her summer and Nathan.

"I love him mom. I'm just scared he isn't strong enough to live through the separation. He's pretty vulnerable. It took him everything to admit his feelings to himself and me." She sighed. "Derek won't let me visit him." Haley stared at her phone again forcing it to ring, hoping he had read her message and was just dying to hear her voice. She knew she was.

"Oh I'm sorry sweetheart. I would love to meet him. If you love him than we don't care about the rest, and neither should Derek. It be unwise to cling to someone you can't have. I realize it's hard for him but having it and still not quite must be so much harder.'

Haley looked at her mother and handed her a piece of paper. "Mom, dad. Could you visit him? See how he's doing? According to his schedule he should be home in three day and for about a week."

Lydia pulled her daughter in for a hug and shushed her almost crying daughter. "Of course we'll go. And you be strong those months will be over before you know it."

Today it had been about a week since her parents came by and she hadn't heard from them since. Though she had much time to worry about it, she's finally given into watching the wedding video and she her own disgust, had the video evoked a whole series of memories.

The moment she watched it, watched herself walk down that aisle she remember what the girl in the video was looking at and what she was feeling. The rush of childhood memories and wedding memories that had flooded her evoked something else as well; Nausea.

So as soon as it started playing to had rushed to the bathroom to puke. She didn't think Derek had even had the chance to see she remembered anything. She also didn't remember everything. But it had released a bunch of memories, most of which were childhood memories. Her as a kid, her with her siblings and her parents.

But also certain feelings. Like the ones she had when she walked down the aisle looking at her future husband. It just was unreal. It was like looking at someone elses live through someone else's eyes. In someone else's body. Experiencing feeling that were there then but were there now.

In the days that followed she'd had puke several times again. None after she remembered more. She didn't remember more.

Today she had asked Derek to take her to the doctor because of the nausea. He felt bad still thinking it started with the video that had literally made her sick. Haley had a gut feeling that video had just been bad timing.

Sitting in the waiting area Haley insisted Derek stayed outside. It was personal and to her he still was mostly a stranger and didn't want him in personal business. Even though he was her guardian. He kept pointing that out. That he had a legal right to know everything because of that.

Haley was at the point of smacking him in the face. "Mrs. Summers." The doctor called.

"it's Miss James, Hi." Haley swiftly walked over to the doctor. Derek followed.

"Miss James. It's so good to see you're alive and well." Haley smiled. 'Just how well, we'll just have to see, doctor. She has been throwing up quite a lot." Derek pitched in.

The doctor ushered them into his office. 'Derek I wanted you to wait outside. I don't want you here. "

"Haley I told you. I don't care I have a legal right to know what's wrong with you." Haley huffed frustrated and turned away from him. "Okay Haley tell me what is wrong."

The doctor sat down in his chair, behind his desk and folded his hands. "I'm sorry I can't tell with Derek here. I do not consider Derek my husband anymore. And just because judge ordered me to live with you doesn't give you the right to sit in on personal confidential conversations."

Derek grabbed her wrist. "That's exactly what it means Haley. Now spill. What's wrong."

"Fine." Haley huffed and turned to her doctor. "I think I might be pregnant."

Nathan rolled out of bed when he heard to doorbell. He hadn't been doing so well since Haley left. At first he spoke with her almost daily, but now, t just hurt to hear her voice. To imagine to lips that formed them .

When he opened the door two people were standing there. Neither was Haley so he really didn't care much. 'What can I do for you." He asked. It was about one in the afternoon so it wasn't quite a time to be asleep anymore on the Thursday.

"Hi, My name is Lydia and this is my husband Jim. We're haley's Parents." The woman spoke.

Nathan's eyes almost popped out of their sockets. "Wh..what? uhm come on in." he stuttered.

He did a step back and let them in. 'What brings you here?"

Sitting down on the couch the woman smiled. "Haley asked us to come. She said you didn't answer her phone calls and she was worried about you."

Nathan sighed and leaned his head n his hands. He never meant for her to worry about him. But as usual when he was hurting he only thought about what helped him. "I'm sorry. It's just been so hard. Not seeing her, not holding her." Her mother chuckled. 'Tell me about it. I had to miss my little girl for a long time when everyone thought she was dead."

"But she told us you took good care of her. You and your sister." Her father pitched in. Her mother seemed to be looking about the apartment for a moment and was smiling contently.

"I can see you love her. I mean to the signs of a bachelor pad are obviously visible among Haley's obvious soft touches to the decoration."

Nathan chuckled. "She spends more time here than I do during a year, or at least that was the plan. So I figured since it was our place she should feel at home. So too advantage of that." He ended with a grin.

"You should visit her Nathan. she misses you." Nathan shook his head. "And then? Hug her say hi and leave again. It's not like Derek is gonna let me stay. He's gonna milk the situation until the very last minute."

At that point Jim but in. "If you had bothered to listen to her when she calls, you would have know that Derek realizes perfectly well that it is a dead end case , their marriage. But you are wallowing in your own misery too much to care about how she's feeling!"

Nathan looked away, ashamed of his behavior. He loved Haley.

"I'm sorry Mr. James. I never meant to hurt Haley." Jim huffed. "Then maybe you should answer the phone the net time she calls.

As if on cue his phone starting playing some random melody and the screen said "Haley"

His face lit up and he quickly picked it up. "Hey Gorgeous." he sighed.

"Hey, Handsome. Nice you finally answer." Her voice sounded happy but somewhat unsure.

"I'm sorry about that Hales. I miss you."

"I miss you too, how about you come see me tomorrow. I have something to show you." Nathan looked up at her parents and they both nodded encouraging. "Sure of course, I'll see you tomorrow. I love you."

"I love you too."

Haley hung up the phone smiling, from ear to ear. While Derek sat in the corner of the room feeling miserable thinking about what happened at the doctors that morning.

"Okay, when was the last time you had sex?" Haley pursed her lips. It had been about seven weeks since she last saw Nathan. It had been the night before the hearing. So well bout seven weeks.

"Seven weeks or so." She answered not looking at anyone but the doctor. The doctor did look somewhat confused at Derek, but she didn't care.

"and you're late?"

"Yes."

'How much?"\

"about a week or two. At first I wasn't sure whether it was because of the stress of living with Derek here in Vineland something. But when I started feeling nauseated I guess it were too many coincidences."

"are you on the pill?"

Haley shook her head. No. I kinda didn't exist as a person in the system so that was a little difficult."

Well, let's draw some blood I'll send that to the lab and we'll call you in a few hours with the results."

And here they were. She had honestly been elated what the doctor confirmed her pregnancy. She had made an appointment at and OBGYN, tomorrow afternoon. She was just dying to tell Nathan. This could very well be her early ticket home.

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><p><strong>What did you think?<strong>


	16. Now we are turning the tables on you

**Hey everyone!**

**A little Birthday present for you! My treat! The occasion? My 18th Birthday.  
>So It's short but it suits the chapter. Big chapter is up next. I'm btw completely lost on the time span on thsi story. I don't know how long it's been since Haley's washed up on the beach, what time of year it is. So anyone who did keep up.. Tell me! <strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 16. Now we are turning the tables on you.<strong>

"Nathan!" Haley flew Nathan around his neck. Nathan caught the pretty curly blonde, wrapping her tightly in his arms. He tucked her head into the crook of her neck and sniffed up her familiar scent. God he missed her.

"Hey, Gorgeous." he whispered. "You miss me?"

"God yes." She whispered into his neck. She placed soft kisses on his neck. Pulling back He captured her lips in a fierce kiss.

"Ahem.." Lydia, Haley mother cleared her throat somewhat amused. Haley blushed embarrassed.

"I'm glad to see you three met." Haley smiled detaching herself from Nathan and leading all of them into the sunroom. Derek had gone out at the mention of Nathan stopping by. He was over all very shocked by the news of Haley's pregnancy. He never in the world expected Haley to get pregnant by this guy. He knew they were having sex, but somehow the possibility never occurred to him.

They all sat down and Lydia went to pour some tea for all of them, while Nathan and Haley had their moment alone.

A moment they well used to make out and feel each other up. "I missed you." Haley hugged Nathan close leaning against him as she sat in his lap. "I missed you too baby. I'm so sorry I didn't call back. I did listen to all your messages." She kissed him greedily. "It's okay babe. I love you, I get it." Haley momentarily enjoy the feeling of Nathan's arms tightly around her. If felt warm and comfortable and for the first time in a long time to felt save. Like everything was right.

As Lydia and Jim returned. They all sat down and Haley smiled widely. "I'm glad you could come. I have some pretty exciting news."

She took Nathan's hands in her own and focused on him. Though her parents had a right to know Haley wanted to Nathan more than anything.

"I'm pregnant." She whispered with a sly smile on her lips.

Nathan felt all the blood drain from his face as her heard her words. "Pregnant?" he whispered. Surely they had always been save, right? Her face had lit up as she spoke the words, but had dropped slightly as she was now trying gauge his reaction. A baby, wow that was fast. He hadn't had a single doubt about whether her wanted to be with her since they admitted their love for each other.. but,

It had only been a few months. They were nowhere near ready to have a baby. Though Brooke would probably the excited.

He felt a pair of small hands cover his face and her tried to focus on the them and the person they belonged to. Haley was looked uncertainly at him her eyes wide and slightly teary. "Nathan?"

Nathan covered her hands with his and pulled them away from his face and he put them down in her lap. Her eyes widened and he could swear her saw fear flash through them. It was then that he realized that she probably thought he was rejecting her. That must be a scary thought for her. The only thing she does know. The only person she felt home with rejecting her. He quickly wrapped her in his arms and held her.

He was just speechless, just not sure what to tell her. What to say to her. After all it was … big.

"Nathan?" She whispered. He pulled away from her slowly. "I love you, Hales." He looked up to notice her parents had left the room.

"And?" she still seemed uncertain of his reaction.

"And the rest doesn't matter." He smiled, and softly pecked her lips. Now Haley just seemed to portray the image of skepticism. He had to chuckled had that. "It's fast Hales. Really fast." She nodded. "But I love you. And that's our baby in there." He spoke softly nodded towards her tummy.

"It is." A careful smile slowly reappeared on her face. "God were having a baby." She giggled before leaping into his arms again. Nathan held her. Nothing in the last year had gone as expected, but right now he really didn't care. Because this baby might just mean, he'd get his girl back sooner.

Nathan kissed Haley passionately, holding her wrapped up in his arms. He pulled away nonchalantly, not really wanting to. "I have to go baby." He whispered, opening the car door. "I don't want you to go already."She whined.

"I'm going to talk to our attorney as soon as I get home, you're coming home with me as soon as possible." Nathan assured her kissing her hard again. Haley whimpered as he pulled away and got into the car. He'd miss her but he'd get her back soon.

Haley waving him goodbye as he pulled out of the drive way and disappeared from sight.

She looked up to find several of the neighbor watching her. Oh they'd have something to gossip about again. She shook her head amused. She went to sit in the sun on the front porch and enjoyed the weather for a bit. Ten minutes later Derek pulled into the driving way and right away Alice the neighbor the two house down the road came running up to him.

He halted as she called out for him and smiled at her. Haley watched as played in front of her.

The woman, Alice. Was looking very serious, nodded and shaking her head as she spoke to Derek. Then Derek looked up to where she was seated and shook his head at the woman.

After that the woman seemed to be pitying him; patting his arms and looked awfully sympathetic.

Than the woman walked over to her. Haley was somewhat stunned by that the neighbors somewhat refrained from talking to her.

"Hey, Haley. I just wanted to say you're making a mistake." Haley arched an eyebrow at the comment. "How's that?"

"Derek is a darling of a man and you two were such a sweet couple. Now you're just leaving him? Trade him for some hotshot guy who was nice to you for a few months?"

Haley laughed and shook her head. "I love that hotshot guy who was nice to me and I'm having a baby with him. As for Derek, you know when you write something, a paper or a story, and you lose it and have to write it all over again? It's never as good as it was the first time." With that Haley got up and went inside.

Nathan walked into the arena that was the Bobcats' home base, while urgently on the phone with his lawyer. The man, was supposed to help him get Haley back; Help Haley get her free will back. The baby made a significant difference, the lawyer agreed on that. If Haley could testify that the period of time spend there had made no difference for her memory, but that she did discover that she was pregnant, that judge would see it was only in the interest of the Child, to let Haley go home. After all, Haley was under enormous stress being somewhere she felt comfortable. And whether or not she was married to Derek, she was now tied in such way with Nathan by their baby. And it really made no difference. At last it would be Haley's choice; The baby of her Memory.

And well, Haley had given up on her memory a long time ago.

"Thank you, yes I'll tell her. Just get it done. Yes. Bye." Nathan hung up the phone and threw it in the sports bag, he dropped on the bench minutes before.

"How's it going man?" One of his teammates asked. With Haley being away, his moods had been less than pleasant so he'd had to explain the situation to the team a couple of weeks before when he'd flipped.

"Better. We've found a way to get her back here sooner than expected so…" He trailed off. He was excited. They had decided to keep the pregnancy under the wraps for as many people as possible for now. He had yet to tell his sister or his parents for that matter.

Haley's parents knew but that was different.

Nathan changed into his jersey and hit the court to warm up, he had a feeling tonight was gonna be great.

"Why are we summoned to court again? The three months are far from over!" Peyton asked Derek as they met up for coffee down town. John was away for work and so Peyton had taken the opportunity to go visit Haley and Derek. But when she arrived at the house Derek had pushed her out of the house and towards his car rather than letting her come in.

Peyton had been surprised when Derek told her about the court hearing the day after tomorrow.

"What changed? Did Nathan suddenly decide to fight the verdict?" Derek shook his head and took a sip. "How is Haley anyway? Any progress?"

"No progress. Haley's Pregnant." He admitted. It had taken a while for him to come to terms with Haley's pregnancy. No so long ago that baby was supposed to be his and now. He'd really lost her.

"Nathan?" Peyton asked, just to be sure. Derek nodded again. "Yup. The thought never crossed my mind. That not only was she sharing a bed with this guy, but that she might actually get pregnant. Have a family." He sighed.

"She was elated. Thrilled. She's crazy about the guy. It's just.. I don't recognize the girl I married anymore. She's not that girl anymore…"

Peyton patted his arm and looked sympathetically at him. "It's not really surprising…" She admitted.

"She lost her memory. Your experiences are partially what shape a person's character. Without those, she's just a different person."

"I suppose you're right. You think I should just let her go? Tell that judge that she's not my wife anymore. That's in every way that counts, she's Nathan's?"

For a moment it was quiet, the mellow music played in the café the only sound. The silence was mournful….

…

"I think you can better part with her on a friendly base, than fight for someone she no longer is till death. We should let her go. We've held onto our Haley for way too long. But I think the truth is…. Haley James-Summers Died last June."

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><p><strong>Let me know what cha think?<strong>


	17. You're Welcome

**Tadada... So last chapter.  
>I want you to read it. and THINK if you want a epilogue or maybe even a sequel. If you think the story <em>needs<em> an epilogue or a sequel **

**anyway.. please read you are going to love this chapter, I know so. **

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><p><strong>Chapter 17. You're welcome<strong>

The judge leaned forward slightly and sighed labored; Frowning and sighing again. "Oh, given as both parties seem to agree, against previous advise. Mrs. Summer or Miss James, whatever Ma'am wants to be called, is free to do as wishes. Good luck with your lives."

Haley looked up from the where her hands lay in her lap, a smile etched on her face. Nathan gathered Haley in his arms and held her close. She didn't really have words for how happy she was. Finally she could go home. She had her identity back, she had a clean bill of health and there was a little human being growing inside of her.

The group left the courtroom. While Haley rejoiced the decision the judge made, Peyton came up the her. "Haley?"

Haley turned around and smiled kindly. "Thank you, for letting me go." She said. She appreciated it immensely that Derek and Peyton had decided to accept their loss, and had told the judge so.

"Nathan please take good care of her." She said while tears welled up. "I will Peyton, take you. And you are always welcome." Peyton nodded and hugged Haley. "Be happy Haley. We glad you didn't die, even though we lost you anyway. Take that second chance."

"I agree. You deserve the best Hales." Derek pitched in. "I'll always love you, this you, the old you… Just be happy." Haley could only smile at them. "Thank you guys, I really really appreciate that. We had a great life, it's just not the same. You can expect the divorce papers as soon as possible. Any Summer's day." She smiled.

Then Nathan threw an arms around Haley and they left the building. Derek watched the good and then smiled at Peyton. "I hope she's happy." Then he chuckled, while Peyton shrugged and was gathering her keys and phone to leave as well. "'like any summer's day.' We used the say that that any of our days were a Summer's day. It was… our joke." He trailed off.

Peyton looked up, with curious eyes as Derek stopped talking and found him staring with wide eyes in the direction Haley had gone off to.

"How did- did she know that?" He stuttered. "She remembers." He uttered shocked. "She played me! She said she didn't remember anything. But I didn't tell her this." Before Peyton could formulate a response, Derek spurted out of the building just in time to find Nathan and Haley take off in one of Nathan fast sports cars. He could swear he saw her smile as the flashed by. Peyton had followed him out. "What's going on, Derek? What are you rambling on about?"

Derek looked at Peyton and then back at the direction Haley went. And he got this knot in his stomach. "she lied. Remembers everything and she lied about it. She lied about her memory so she could leave.." He was shocked that the woman he had loved and married, had eventually lied to be free of him.

A week later Haley whistled as she went to retrieve to mail from the mail box of her and Nathan's new home. They bought a little palace a little outside of Charlotte to raise their child. As she padded back inside on her bare feet sifting through the mail there was the manila envelope she'd been waiting for. The divorce papers. She dropped the rest of the mail onto the little table by the door and opened the envelope. She pulled out the papers and grinned. "Divorce papers" She smiled.

She had sent them to Derek earlier this week. She folded the pages to find scrabbled on his line. "You lied…"

An even bigger grin spread across her features and with an elegant swing of her wrist she signed her name beside his.

As she folded the papers back up, Nathan walked in. He was all sweaty from his work out. "Hey babe." He pecked her cheek and passed her on his way up the stairs. Passing her he saw her grinning satisfied. "What's got you grinning so mischievously?"He chuckled.

Her eyes sparkled as she walked up to him and swung her arms around his neck, clinging to his sweaty form. "I am no longer a married woman." She spoke before pulling Nathan in for a sensual kiss dropping the papers in her hand on the floor behind her.

Nathan moved his hands to her behind and lifted her off the floor. He carried her upstairs and into their bedroom.

Their new bedroom, in their new home, bought for the new life they had created.

Haley sighed as Nathan rolled off of her, trying to catch her breath. Together they watched the sun set from their bedroom window.

Haley thought back at the last year and all that had happened. Beginning by that moment she walked in, unknowing by the participants, on her best friend and her husband having sex.

A mere month before her best friend's wedding. She had instead of confronting him about it, kept it to herself trying to find the worst punishment possible before undertaking action.

The day she kiss her husband goodbye and drove 'by accident' off that bridge, she had luck with the weather. Having unbuckled her seat belt and opened the window of the car she had driven off that bridge know full well, it was possible she would not survive. Then that would have been it. He would have been pushed by actually losing her.

But everything had gone as it should have. Haley and braced herself during the crash and swam out as soon as the opportunity presented itself. The rest had been luck. Most of it.

She hadn't aimed for anyone in particular. As a matter of fact, she'd drifted off quite a bit and for a while she'd been afraid she'd never see land ever again.. And she had at some point lost consciousness. She had thought her plan well through and had realized several times that there were several chances at losing her life in the process.

But she'd been lucky. The right people had pulled her from that water. Though she'd planned to make him belief she was dead and then hunt him till he went nuts, both him and Peyton, lying bitch.

And to be quite honest she hadn't planned on falling hard for Nathan. She'd actually figured that pretending memory loss would give her a good place with Brooke and Brooke would help her live her life. Eventually she probably find another guy and then she'd make sure Derek would know she was alive and be even more hurt. Having to lose her twice.

She smiled. But Nathan had been more she could have hoped for and in all honesty she fell hard for the guy and by the time they were living together she wasn't thinking of getting back at Derek. She had her place now all she wanted was to keep it.

But wanting to know what Derek and Peyton were suffering through, ate away at her and so she did an internet search for articles but also blogs and posts about the accident. Peyton's blog had been gold and she had asked Brooke to 'help' her search.

Brooke really was a darling but she was somewhat naïve, if she hadn't been she would probably have noticed that there was a previous search for articles on that precise accident on the laptop.

Anyhow, she hadn't been in control of everything along the way and she hated, having done what she did to her parents, but at least she knew Peyton and Derek suffered.

The lawsuit, or whatever the hell it was, she hadn't seen coming but she knew well how to spin it in her favor. No it wasn't until she found out she was pregnant that she knew she needed to wrapped up everything quickly. She really wanted a life with Nathan, regardless of what she did and what she lied about to him. She was head over heels for this man and having his baby was a gift from heaven for her. In a way being back home with Derek for a while was good to see him suffer some more and even better to get her identity back. Eventually she would have gotten that back in her original plan, but this way it worked as well.

She snuggled into Nathan some more. Nathan was a gorgeous man, inside and out and he'd given her everything she wanted. A kind, loving faithful man, to have a child with and one who wouldn't cheat on her with her best friend. Some day she would tell him the truth about how they met. And he'd probably be mad, even furious. But he'd eventually see she did them, him no harm, because.. they still met and fell in love and none of that was a lie.

Letting Derek somehow know she had her memory, in his world: back, in hers : never lost, it was the icing on the cake. Getting her divorce. It was like reaching to top of the mountain after taking the road less traveled through the woods to the top, dragging him along behind.

Nathan softly kissed down her neck and her shoulder and rubbed soft circles over her belly.

"Marry me Haley." He whispered. Haley sighed and felt a weight fall off her shoulders.

Turning in his arms she leaned up to kiss him. Staring into his eyes was just exchanging love. "I would love to marry you." She whispered back against his lips.

Nathan leaned down and kiss her deeply, sealing their engagement.

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><p><strong>And? Epilogue Sequel, or good as it is?<strong>


	18. Author's note

**Okay, so here the deal. I've gotten great review over the last couple of days, but i'm certain that the story doesn't NEED anything else. **

**Therefore there won't be a epilogue. **

**Whether there's going to be a sequel in the future I don't know. I always think that if you make a sequel you should do it immediately after the story or you might as well just prolong the first. **

**So I'll have to think about what the sequel will look like and what will happen to Nathan and Haley if I do. Because I'd hate it to be just about Haley telling nathan and Nathan being all okay about it after being hurt of shocked or angry. So It'll have to be a story itself and a journey for the both of them. **

**If you have any thoughts about how the sequel should looking like let me know untill then, I'll be focussing my time and energy in my finals and my other stories, and maybe early summer you'll see a sequel for this story, or maybe; This will be it. **

**Anyway, I thought I'd let you know. And I wanted to thank you all for reading and reviewing. I always look forward to reading yout thoughts on something and think I've got all figured out inside my head. It's refreshing and good to see it's appreciated. **

**- Love Philine **


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